Best Sick Call slips

Specialties Correctional

Published

I can't turn off the alarm in my head.” Tinnitus or psych?

I need more energy, is there a pill for that?” When I saw him, his cellie had given him the solution: snort instant coffee. I recommended against that.

I see rainbows.” Eye problem, medication side effect or psych?

I have a abacus in my juggler brain” That would be ‘abscess on my jugular vein.

My eyes keep rolling in my head”. That was actually a medication side effect.

I've been asking and asking but nobody will give me a bandaid for my hangnail!”

Specializes in Hospice, corrections, psychiatry, rehab, LTC.
Lol. The ones that stick out most are "I haven't gone to the bathroom in X days".

One inmate at my facility claimed to have not had a bowel movement for three months. "You would have exploded by now", I told her.

A couple of kites that came in when I worked the clinic in a male medium security prison:

"I am losing my hair and I want to know if you can give me anything to regrow it."

An inmate was requesting Viagra "because I'm about to get out and I want to be ready for action."

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Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.

A couple of kites that came in when I worked the clinic in a male medium security prison:

"I am losing my hair and I want to know if you can give me anything to regrow it."

An inmate was requesting Viagra "because I'm about to get out and I want to be ready for action."

Lol yeah, let me get right on those requests.

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Specializes in Med-Surg Nursing.

I had one that said...my leg hurts real bad...can I get it cut off?

I just love the ones that've been suffering with a problem..so they'll come up to Medical for an emergency visit, which they're charged $5 co-pay and $5 for any meds they receive. Had 1 who had leg pain for two weeks, yet never bothered to place a sick call slip. Shaking my head on that one and I told the inmate...ANY problem you have...submit a sick call slip...the PA's usually see the inmate within 3 days. We have 2300 inmates at our Medium Security prison so triaging is a must ;)

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Specializes in Forensics.

Coworker had an inmate/patient at her window refusing his new psych medication. Upon review of the refusal(sorry not a sick call slip but had to post) he stated "DO not want, it makes me feel Frayed..." :ninja:

Sick call slip recently kited in..."The Fungest on my stuff is getting worser and worser"....:bookworm: The things that make us giggle.

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Had a few good ones: One inmate came up to my cart with a very serious look on his face and handed me a sick call kite that said "I have broken heart syndrome" then walked away smiling and laughing. Its actually very common for new nurses to get those where i work.

Another one : "If i dont get the gas out of my ass it will kill me"-this guy had some major obsessions with his bowel functions

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I have been having some pains in my growing. (groin) lol

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One sick call slip I had from a male inmate said "I'm having pain in my ovaries". Another one said "Med line is taking too long and I'm missing rec. Can you please do something about this??"

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I have one more-he wrote in the sick call slip "I need my zazmu pump renewed" (asthma).

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NCCHP states that sick call is valid when an 'actual' symptom is reported. Lots of these would be thrown to the side or asked to re-instate what their issue was if your facility followed those standards. I love the ones in spanish from guys I have been speaking english to for the past 3 months during med pass. I confronted one guy and he just exclaimed "I can speak it but can't read it nurse, hullloooo!" Put me for a loop that day :)

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I was contemplating writing a book at one point, but over the years I've forgotten some of the amusing ones. Two that I remember:

"I am having firm stools" Yeah, I know, it's amazing. Clear, to the point, spelled correctly, I was impressed. But his second line read "just had my **** bag removed". Yup, there it is.

My all time favorite, and the one I was considering using for the title of my book "sores on my mouth, think I ate some bad virginia".

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Specializes in Med-Surg Nursing.

I picked up one that called Neurontin Nerve Rotten! *****

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Specializes in Developmentally delayed.

"There is an apple seed in my ear".

When interviewed, me "why did you put an apple seed in your ear". I/P "so I could save it for later"

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