Any nurses here date the officers?

[Monica RN,BSN]

Just a curious question.. as there seems to be a lot of that going on in my jail...Love to hear your comments or stories..

[Blackcat99]

didn't date any officers but I did have an affair with the medical director (I was the DON). Lasted for five years before anyone even had a clue. I was married at the time to the warehouse supervisor so we all worked at the same place!

OMG- 5 years before anyone suspected!!!! That's amazing!!!!

[texascowgirl]

you obviously have been in corrections for a long time! what you say is right on target.

of course, there is the exceptional good relationship that might come out of dating an officer, but overall, what you say is so true.....

it is emtremely easy to fall into that trap of falling for an officer at work...after all, you spent a great amount of time at your facility especially if there's a lot of overtime/mandating of shifts. flirtations make the day go by a little easier & faster, but remember these key points: 1. the bulk of the officers are mostly looking for some "bragging rights" and a slap on the back from their male co-workers, 2. there are "no secrets" in jail, so if you think you are going to have a "quiet relationship" with another staffer...think again. the people around you will pick up on the affair, or attraction, and it you will be outted before you know it. 3. if you are looking for advancement in your facility, don't do it! management gets wind of these affairs, too. all you're going to do is ruin your credibility for your future. 4. hardly ever will anything serious come out of an illicit relationship with an officer. and when it ends, as most of them do, you'll be left looking like an easy mark for the other officers to "come on" to. think before you drop your pants! do you want the whole institution to know how you like your sex? i know a nurse that has (supposedly) slept with about 1/2 dozen officers, and her rep is ruined irregardless. did she actually have sex with all of them? probably not, but maybe at least one or two of them. do you think the other ones she dated are going to let the guys know they didn't get a home run off her, too? that's the way it goes in corrections...we have a saying where i work, it's not the dept. of corrections...it's the "dept. of connections". very bad idea...........................

[smilealways]

i have been asked out to dinner 3 times this week after going to dinner with one and am wonderring if he lied, he emailed me saying stuff like he thought we'd become a couple (think about you constantly....looking forward to spending alone time with you--if you get my drift,,,,stuff like that. so i told him i am not looking for a boyfriend----it's been awkward--why? anyways i've been working in a juvenilecorrectional facility for a little more than a year and the payton place drama is for the birds but i love my job

[tirzo13]

i don't want to knock married CO's or Married nurses.

As married people cheat in all offices in america.

There are players everywhere, in all jobs.

But a women surrounded by 100 officers, married or not, she is like a kid in a candy store, her choice of who she wants.

some go for it.

And of course some officers, swarm in on the new young nurses, seeing who can be first.

some don't date them, some, its like a revolving door.

just like the rest of society.

[mrsmrsa]

It is not flattering to be asked out by an officer that pays attention to more than one woman. This officer asks me out, outrightly says "I know how to keep you up til 1am" I don't care how good looking he is, his approach is lewd and shows a lack of character.

If a man is reserved, respectful, and has the respect of his colleagues that is another matter.

Whether I'd actually date him while I worked at the facility is highly unlikely.

Don't discount that we make almost twice as much as they do.

It's not uncommon for agency nurses to go with officers with retirement and excellent health care benefits as a consideration.

I've seen comments of some nurses who have married officers who say their mate can appreciate their job and it's stresses. The officers where I work don't seem to have a clear understanding or appreciation for the work on the health care side of things. Congratulations to those of you who have made it work!

[tammyRN64]

I am happily married, and been in corrections for nearly 6 years. Have gone from PRN LPN, to PRN RN, to Nurse Manager, then Director of Nursing. I have seen one officer sleep with several co-workers (nurses) and slip in a few female officers between. There are a larger number of custody officers who "hop" from officer to officer. It's sad to watch, goodness knows who is passing what to who. I care about my co-workers and cringe when our CO's start "sniffing around" them. I try to warn them of the ones I know have a reputation for adding another notch in their belts. I don't personally mind, but I don't want to see people hurt by people they work with everyday. On the other hand, I have seen successful relationships between a nurse and a custody officer. Again, these were not the officers with a reputation for being "Casanova", just people who genuinely want someone to love. Both situations happen anywhere you have adults of both sexes. I guess you just have to get an idea of how genuine the other person is regarding a "relationship" and know your own expectations. General common sense? Someone said something about a type of bond between people behind the fence/wall, or whatever. I believe this to be true to an extent. We all have to watch out for each other as well as ourselves in there. Let's face it......we are not babysitting folks who "skipped Sunday School". After seeing fellow staff (officers) injured in a riot, stabbed by an inmate, the list goes on.....you do have an understanding of how important it is to work with people you trust. Follow your heart, but it never hurts to ask around about the person's behavior in case you are looking for love, and they don't want a commitment.