Conflict on continuing my education

Editorial Team / Moderator · Oct 27, 2019

I have moved your post to the pre-nursing forum to encourage responses. Best of luck to you in making your decision!

Kotylynne · Oct 28, 2019

If you dont know if you will like nursing maybe try to take CNA classes first, spend time talking with nurses.

I am 27 with 2 kids 4 and 5 , so I com9get wanting to start a family but SERIOUSLY even though it is do able I all but yell at people to get their schooling done BEFORE kids. It is SO FREAKING hard just to do pre reqs with them ONLINE and not even needing to leave the house, let alone having to plan and pay for childcare.

If you have a lot of support at home and extra help then by all means go for it but if you're like me and husband, out floating around with no family nearby DONT DO IT YET. Kids are amazing but they make everything else require a lot of planning and time. They are life changing, and a few more years and PREPARING for your life and theirs to be better then it's worth it to wait. And that's just MY opinion. I'm starting my program in january and still forcing myself not to panic because I KNOW it's going to be a CRAZY few years.

nicole1030 · Oct 28, 2019

Thank you so much that helped a lot I really do want my degree, it definitely will make me happier than my current work situation and I definitely want to talk to a few nurses and will look into maybe volunteering at the hospital. Thank you again and good luck with your nursing journey ! ☺️

BoogieScience · Oct 28, 2019

I have read many threads on this board where people were able to support a family while still going to nursing school. It's not impossible, it's all based on time management and juggling different hats (mother, student, worker, etc.) As for actually pursuing nursing, you'll really need to assess why you want to go into the profession and if it's really worth the time, money, effort and stress. If you're unsure of the job duties, then try working part-time as a CNA or volunteer at the local hospital. These avenues will definitely give you a glimpse of the work that nurses do.

Editorial Team / Moderator · Oct 28, 2019

What does your fiance say about it? Where is he in his career journey?

You are going to hear people say "You are young, you have time," but then you end up like me, having your first kid at 45. Family is forever, our careers less so. If you want a family, have a family and the rest will work itself out.

nicole1030 · Oct 29, 2019

Hi so my fiancé is actually a software engineer, he does make pretty good money but it’s more so enjoying my own career and having job security because I don’t know where we will be 5-20 years from now so if we end up having kids I just want to make sure I’m independently stable in my career plus i am only 24 but i have plans on having kids at 26 so I don’t mind waiting til 27-28 to start, but I definitely don’t want to wait too long!

Golden_RN, MSN · Oct 29, 2019

Nursing school (plus the first year of working) can be all-consuming. I will always strongly suggest doing it before having kids. Nursing school will probably include weekends, late nights, very early mornings & loooong days. Your partner/family will have to pick up a lot of slack taking care of the children. I know so many people that were CNAs or LVNs and had kids with the plan of going back to finish RN school "someday" but never do because kids take over your life. Many do go back, but it's a big challenge.

Also, be realistic about the timeline. You said "nursing will take a few years". If you haven't, talk to a nursing counselor to see what classes you need and how long it will realistically take. It takes most of us more than a few years to get our RN, and with impacted programs, it's hard to get in.

I totally agree with the advice about doing CNA training.

Duke702 · Oct 29, 2019

If I were 24, I would get married go to nursing school ASAP. Then have kids at 28-30. If you were older, I'd say kids first.

nicole1030 · Oct 29, 2019

Thankyou everyone!! I actually have most of my prerequisites done due to prior years when I was initially going for nursing and then I had taken a break due to family and finances I’m just nervous about taking out more loans if I don’t get approved for aid I mean it is only community college but it does add up if your someone who doesn’t get aid

Editorial Team / Moderator · Oct 29, 2019

8 hours ago, nicole1030 said:
Hi so my fiancé is actually a software engineer, he does make pretty good money but it’s more so enjoying my own career and having job security because I don’t know where we will be 5-20 years from now so if we end up having kids I just want to make sure I’m independently stable in my career plus i am only 24 but i have plans on having kids at 26 so I don’t mind waiting til 27-28 to start, but I definitely don’t want to wait too long!

In my experience, as long as one of you is in a stable, Monday-Friday position with predictable hours, it can definitely work to have a family with school. My husband has been in medical school for our daughter's entire life thus far, she was born in between his first and second year. I am her stable person with a predictable Monday-Friday job. As a matter of fact, one of my husband's med school classmates had a baby (her third child, I believe) between the first and second semester of their first year. Her husband has a stable job and is the primary caregiver around daycare while his wife is in school. Yep, it can be hectic, but it's not forever! And my husband helps as much as he can. Right now he takes her to daycare every morning so I can start my workday early and pick her up as early as possible in the afternoon. As long as both parents are on the same page, it really can work. I guess I just feel like women should not have to put off one thing for another. Because to be honest, I rarely hear men voicing this dilemma.

But then here's the other thing: as a new grad RN, many jobs out there are going to be 12-hour nights. Not all jobs, but a majority in the hospital setting. So unless you are lucky enough to have 24-hour childcare around, someone still has the be that stable/predictable person for a child for it to work best. After I had my daughter, I was like, how do my ER nurse peeps do it? Daycare around here is only open from 6am to 6pm or thereabouts, which would make it impossible for me to return to the bedside.

Just rambling! I hope some of that helps.

nicole1030 · Oct 30, 2019

Thankyou for sharing with me it really does mean a lot. I think I’m just going to take time and decide what I think is best for me because family is very important to me and I know with nursing it makes holidays and days off a little more hard, as well as working full time and trying to finish Nursing school. Thankyou again I definitely will need to take some time and think about it because it’s a long and hard process. ?