Colleague Anger

[GracePressure, MSN, RN]

I am about a year into a job on a mental health floor. It's pretty stressful. We have a General ward area and a psychiatric ICU area. The in charge nurse gets an assignment, usually it's almost as heavy as everyone else's. We have a part time nurse, let's call her Sam. She is part time and semi retired. Every time Sam comes in and sees her assignment, she complains. I was in charge and assigned her to the ICU and she looked at her assignment and said "Ohh..might as well go home now..." , in a bitter tone.

The next day, when I was making the assignment, I gave her an assignment on the general ward. We did have a new line starting and one particular nurse loves the ICU so I put her in there instead of Sam.

When Sam arrived and learned she is not in the ICU she was quite upset. She told me that she feels "used and abused" because her assignment was switched from the day before. To clarify, she works about 2 days a week. She kept saying it's not fair that her assignment was given to a full time nurse just because she is starting her set and likes the ICU.

I told Sam that yesterday morning she had made a statement about wanting to go home and I figured she does not like being in the ICU. At first she told me she never made that statement. Then, she said she was just joking. I gave her report and then tried to in a polite tone express that it was hard to gauge sometimes how to do the best for everyone...she put her hand up and said in an irritable tone "I'd really like to have this conversation in private".

The thing is I have been warned by others that she pulls people into private conversations and berates them. I am not up for that. She seemed extremely angry, without giving any consideration to my side of things or even that she complained the day before. And, I did not bring this up, but she always complains about her assignment.

Anyway - can I say that I don't want to have this conversation in private should she choose to pull me into the med room to tell at me? Can I say I'd prefer to have this conversation with management?

[nursej22, MSN, RN]

On 6/10/2022 at 5:46 PM, GracePressure said:

Anyway - can I say that I don't want to have this conversation in private should she choose to pull me into the med room to tell at me? Can I say I'd prefer to have this conversation with management?

You can always ask, but be prepared for her to decline. 

[Davey Do]

1 hour ago, GracePressure said:

Can I say I'd prefer to have this conversation with management?

This person has poor boundaries and needs not to be given any control over the situation. 

I have said in similar situations, "If you want to talk to me, it will be with management present" and have added, "Otherwise do not speak to me unless it's about the patients or our job".

Be prepared, Grace Pressure: Objectively document behavior, times, places, situations, and who said what. This will work as a catharsis for you, get your facts in order, and prepare you as if this were a test for which you need to study.

Good luck!

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Inform management that Sam is never satisfied with her assignment, and is requesting an informal meeting with you regarding her issues. Start documenting her issues. No way would I let her back me into a corner.

 I would ask management to intervene.. after a couple of incidents have been processed.

[Nurse Beth, MSN]

She's a bully.

As others said, don't meet with her in private. Don't explain yourself. But do plan a couple of responses to have in hand when she challenges you in public, like Davey Do recommended.

For example:

Calmly and quizzically ask "Are you refusing your assignment?"

or "You seem very upset. If you have complaints about your assignment, please take them up with our manager. Right now, let's all get to work."

Good advice from ASN RN to give your manager a heads-up. It's very likely your manager is well aware of "Sam's" attitude.