What to say to a man who cannot speak

[smellyacres, BSN, RN]

I'm doing my CNA training at a nursing home, and one of my residents is a man who has a disorder that is basically deteriorating his physical capabilities (i forget the name of it). He can barely move, he cannot speak, he puts up one finger for yes and two fingers for no, so all you can do is ask yes or no questions. he can still smile and laugh and has some ability to move his arms (very slowly) so i'm able to ask him questions and he can point to something, or tough something (ex: what do you want to drink, orange juice or water, and he can point to one).

I can tell he is such a sweet man, and i know he enjoys having people talk to him. I find myself spending quite a bit of time with him because i usually feed him, and he cannot be left alone unless he is in bed or in his recliner, so often i'm in his room while waiting for his CNA.

I often have trouble thinking of things to talk about with him, especially since he can only answer yes or no. I've talked to him some about his family, but after a while you can tell he gets sad and he will stop responding. I try talking to him about myself and stories I think me might find interesting, and sometimes i can make him laugh (and keep him laughing for quite a bit sometimes).

After a while i run out of things to say. Does anyone have any suggestions on things i can discuss with him?

[nightmare, RN]

What about news on the TV? things happening out in the world that he may have seen.Even things happening in the community .Do you know what his interests were before his illness? Talking about something he was interested in would stimulate him even though he cannot answer you.

[Equinox_93]

Try talking about the current news- keep it light but interesting... Maybe find out some about the years when he was younger- talk about events that went on then- like "Oh- I was reading about...." Talk about your family- kids if you have em... Show him pictures if you're comfortable... ? He may get sad talking about his family, but chances are he may find yours interesting... Especially stories of young kids... ? Or- bring in a good book or something like Readers Digest and read aloud....?

Good luck!

[cnabutnot]

Try reading the newspaper or just reading to him.

[flightnurse2b, LPN]

i had a pt once when i was a student nurse who could only communicate with his eyes--blink once for yes, blink twice for no. my instructor said he was a real challenge for her students and thats why she chose to give him to me (thanks, teach!)

but i learned SO much about him! and that i didn't even need to speak to really connect with someone! he just got left in his corner room, with really no sensory stim at all. he was born with spastic quadriplegia and was in care of the state since he was little. he was at first hard to warm up to, so i brainstormed....

i would use the hoyer lift to take him outside in his w/c and would take different things like flowers and let him smell them or touch them to his face. sometimes i would bring things from home like vanilla oil or lemon oil and let him smell them. i would bring in my ipod and put them in his ears, it was trial and error really, but i knew he really liked michael jackson! once he warmed up a little more, i went out and got a bunch of magazines like people, US, etc and read him different current events articles and would put the pictures up so he could see them. then we would do the "what not to wear" and i would point at the things people would wear and he would blink as to whether or not he liked them. but he really liked beyonce... she got 1000 blinks!

you can make such a different by being creative! good luck!

[smellyacres, BSN, RN]

thanks for the replys.

yeah, i have talked to him some about the current news, such as the plane crashing in the hudson river and obama's inaugeration. they've been on his tv when i was with him.

i know he was a part of the marine corps and i've tried talking to him some about that. i've told him about my family and things i am doing currently, i even brought in a picture of me in a play i am doing with crazy face makeup on and i know he enjoyed it.

again, its just me running out of ideas. my mind goes blank and i can't think of things to say.

[cnabutnot]

Hi again. I was thinking about how maybe something to stimulate his brain via his eyes like maybe music with some kind of artistic visualizer with swirls of different colors and shapes. Celtic music is really good for things like that. I hope this is helpful.

[adorblepuppy]

I totally understand what you mean. When i was doing the training for nursing assistant. I had a resident who couldn't talk. I remember it was kind of funny(i hope you know what i mean)the first day the nurse who was in charge of us said go in talk to your residentj, see what he likes and don't like. And my resident didn't talk. So i came home that day and told my husband about it and he said the same thing the others said. Just think of different things to talk about. So i would talk about his roommate and about the weather if i couldn't think of anything else. After a few days he got where he would grunt in response to what i would say. Which was his way of saying yes. After a few days it really got along easier. I wish you luck in your training. I learned alot in mine. And i look forward to finally working.