Clinicals; Feeling afraid and unsure of myself

[dumb_]

Tomorrow will be my fifth day of clinicals in my LPN program, and I still feel lost. I can meet my patient and complete the physical assessment, but after that, I don't know what to do. I still haven't really practiced any skills on real patients, not even bathing. When I get into the clinical setting, I freeze up and forget everything I've learned.

All of my classmates have CNA experience and have no trouble in clinicals. Yet, I'm over here feeling unconfident and useless. What can I do to push myself and make the most out of clinical education?

Thanks for reading~

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I could have written your post back in 1975. I was scared to death of any patient encounter. I really didn't know what to do with myself, and even the assessment was problematic because I couldn't remember what to look for and went back and forth . . . I got through it -- with the help of a couple of very special patients -- and so will you.

The first bath I ever gave was to a Black man in his 80s. I grew up on a farm in the midwest and went to a small state university also in the midwest. I had seen Black people -- at a distance. But I had never touched or spoken to a black person and here I was with all the bath supplies and a mandate to bathe this man. I was scared to death! I took forever getting things set up just the way they taught us in class, and then it was time to actually wash the patient. I let him wash his own face, just as we were instructed, and then I started on his arm.

I gently washed his arm, and the washcloth came back with all sorts of grime on it. So I washed his arm again. Same result. I stood there in confusion, trying to think of what to do, and the patient spoke up and said, "It's OK, honey. It's not going to wash off. Them's dead skin cells." I was so embarrassed I wanted to sink through the floor. And then he said, "It's your first bath, isn't it. And you're scared. You're doing just fine -- I can tell you're going to be a great nurse someday." And he talked me through the entire process, part instruction, and part chatting. Even though our job is to put the patient at ease, that patient put ME at ease. I was never assigned to him as a patient again, but I used to stop by to chat with him every time we were in the building for clinicals, and I'd bring him chocolate sometimes. Talking with that man made me comfortable enough with a patient that I was able to relax and learn something at my clinicals! I'll always remember him for that.

You may or may not be lucky enough to encounter a patient that puts you at ease and talks you through a difficult day, but I'm hoping that you do. Maybe you grew up in a far more diverse community than I did and race won't be a source of anxiety for you but you've never touched or spoken to an old person before, or a baby or someone with a disability -- we've all got something that makes us even more anxious than usual. A classmate had never seen a member before her first patient bath and was shocked and horrified. The take away from the whole experience for me is that we're all just people. We're all human. That nice old man came into my life at just the right time to help me get through my first clinicals. I came into his life at the end and gave him someone to teach and to talk to.

I can't tell you what to do with yourself during your clinical time, but I can tell you that if you talk to the patients, and if you listen to them, you'll come away with the knowledge that we're all just people. That may help you with the rest.

[dumb_]

(oops, commented in the wrong place)

[dumb_]

That's such a heartwarming and thoughtful comment. I really appreciate you sharing your story with me. It helps me put things in perspective. The residents really do make my day, even if I may be shy--so I hope I can have a story like yours one day.