Clinical site has a bad history for me

[poweringthrough, ADN]

So I'm in my last semester at school. I started clinicals a couple weeks ago at my local hospital. I was recently chatting with a patient on my floor and found out that I was on the old L&D floor. Unfortunately for me this is the exact L&D floor where I delivered a stillborn, hemorrhaged, and nearly died a few years back. I instantly wanted to get off the floor but stayed professional through my shift. I came home and cried. Next week I went back and tried to do it again. It was awful. Now its really bothering me. I am wondering if I should say something to my instructor but I don't think I will be acommmodated in any way (I base this on some history I'd rather not go into). Not to mention the clas was explicitly told that wecould not trade assignments and had to just accept whatever we got. So what do I do to get through this? Does anyone have suggestions?

[Mergirlc, MSN, APRN, NP]

Poweringthrough,

I'm very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the difficulty and feelings you went through while on this assignment.

I don't think I would bring this up to your instructor, as you already mentioned she probably won't accommodate you. It's been my "life experiences" that sometimes when you disclose certain information about yourself, it comes back to bite you, you know where. Many a time, it can be used against you if certain things happen. I'm not saying that will happen to you necessarily, but just want you to be aware of this, as it happens in various work environments.

Based on your post, your feelings still seem raw and I know it hurts because it matters. It's something which is a life-changing event that will always be with you. My suggestion would be to see some type of counselor or therapist to help you through this. If you belong to a church, perhaps the priest/reverend/rabbi,etc.. can help? Some colleges/schools even have counseling on campus, so that may be an avenue you can explore.

I'm sure others will also offer some other suggestions for you, if mine aren't agreeable or do not seem to fit.

Take care of yourself and I hope some day, you can find the comfort you deserve to have.

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

Does your school have counseling services you can seek out? My university had free counseling.

[twinsmom788]

Oh my...I feel so much for you. I really have no advice accept that this clinical rotation cannot last too long and please avail yourself of any therapeutic opportunities. HUGS

[llg, PhD, RN]

I agree with the previous posters. Get counseling for your unresolved grief issues, but try to avoid bringing the whole matter into your nursing education. That is more likely to cause you additional problems than help you.

I'm surprised you were able to get through your maternity nursing class and clinical. If that was not huge problem for you, try to remember the coping strategies you used then. Those same strategies might help you now.