Can't Keep Looking at the Bright Side (I just want to cry)

Posted

I'm not trying to be melodramatic, but I have been out of NP school 2 years and can't find a job to save my life. I've been working the same crummy floor nurse position I was working when I was going through school. I finally just went out recently and took a job as a hospice RN just to take myself out of the degrading environment of that facility where I was taking orders and yes ma'am-ing people with a fraction of my education. If you watched Breaking Bad picture Walter White on his hands and knees scrubbing tires at the carwash while his students walked by snickering...anyway, it doesn't help when I hear about new grad NPs TURNING DOWN jobs while I never even get a call back or past the first interview. Usually any responses I get are to tell me I don't have the required experience and to contact them after I've acquired it. If I said I was discouraged it would be a lie: I'm absolutely devastated to the point I've been doing reckless, self-destructive things because I feel so hopeless.

Here in Music City I have a friend who is a single mother who recently became homeless and was taken in by a shelter that is helping put her in a four bedroom house and paying her way to get her RN AND NP license, being funded by two very famous country singers. I try to sound happy for her but inside I'm thinking about the 50k in student loans past due, my house that is falling down...

I was going to start a business but since my husband is horrified of adding on more debt in contracts and leases and start up expenses, that idea has pretty much been snuffed out. When you don't have partner/spousal support you may as well forget it. I would not be above just relocating but my long distance job searches have gone about as far as my local ones.

I don't know, is more school the answer? My degree is Adult NP, seems like family is required/preferred, even when there will be no children seen. It seems like everything I touch turns to garbage. I don't want to get in more debt for something that won't do me any good. Maybe I'm just so hideous I'm unhireable as a NP??? I hate being stagnant but I don't know what, if anything I can do. I feel like such a spectacle. A big, lumpy, stupid, middle aged old broad. a dozen degrees probably wouldn't help me. Yea, kind of a pity party, but that's about the only one I can participate in right now.

Thanks for listening.

zenman

2 Articles; 2,806 Posts

Perhaps you haven't considered New Mexico or if you can't move, doing short locum jobs. I still get calls at least once a day.

VTach2013

VTach2013

65 Posts

You mentioned you were in music city. Are you referring to Nashville, Tennessee? Don't give up hope. If you are willing to relocate there are many many places that will hire you! Expecially rural places.

traumaRUs

traumaRUs, MSN, APRN, CNS

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU. Has 30 years experience. 164 Articles; 21,186 Posts

Are you doing ok emotionally? It concerns me when you say you are doing reckless things. Please take care of yourself.

nursetim

nursetim, NP

Specializes in ER, HH, CTICU, corrections, cardiology, hospice. Has 20 years experience. 493 Posts

Indian health service is an idea, so is United States Public Health Service. The pay is lousy but you get treated badly. The added bonus is you will qualify to have you loans paid off or mostly paid off while you work there for 2-3 years. We are looking for another NP at the hospice I work at. Stop doing reckless stupid shinola.

BlueDevil,DNP, DNP, RN

Specializes in FNP, ONP. Has 25 years experience. 1,158 Posts

IMO you need to seek treatment for your depression and worry about a job later.

VTach2013

VTach2013

65 Posts

Indian health service is an idea, so is United States Public Health Service. The pay is lousy but you get treated badly.

The pay is lousy and you get treated badly? Thats horrible then :/

BostonRN13

BostonRN13

184 Posts

Oh my goodness. First off, hugs!!!! It's only a job, I mean really. Do you have your health? Support and love of your family? These are the important things. Do something nice for yourself and stop all of that nonsense bad talk. You made it through NP school successfully right? That's something to be proud of.

Now, will you eventually pay off your loans even with your current RN position you hate? Yes.

What about networking with your school peers? Have they been successful? Do they have connections for possible positions? My friends has secured a position that she found through a cold call (email) of the office manager. There is hope ! Figure out what you want and go get it..

mammac5

mammac5

727 Posts

Mountainaire, I sent you a PM

TX RN

TX RN

Specializes in ICU, CV-Thoracic Sx, Internal Medicine. Has 11 years experience. 255 Posts

Military? Maybe reserves?

MommaFNP2012

MommaFNP2012

10 Posts

First off, I'm so sorry. Huge hugs to you! I've been out of school for over a year now with no job. My situation is a tad different than yours as I did have a couple of offers during that time but the benefits and salary were so pathetic that I just couldn't accept. But, as time passed I started regretting that decision and got even more depressed as I was no longer landing interviews. So, after several months, I picked up shifts at the local charity clinic as an NP, and I love it! They started me very slow with just two or three pts a day. I'm picking up a little and getting back into the swing of things. Doing this has been personally satisfying to me. And, having this on my resume has gotten me noticed. I got two interviews next week for jobs that I'm so hoping I will land.

Hang in there! Don't give up! Start exercising (if you don't already) as this will help you mentally and physically! Take care!

1. You sound depressed and in need of eval/treatment for this.

2. Write to those singers you refer to and ask for their help to pay off some of your debt. Don't write as a self-pitying petitioner, just

write the truth as simply and HUMBLY as you can.

3. Having education isn't everything, as you have found out. And thinking you are better than someone who has less education is a big

part of your problem, I imagine. Those singers, who are multi-millionaires, might not have as much education as you do. In other

words, your degrees can be used as wallpaper. Not trying to be rude or unsympathetic, but they aren't getting you what you want.

So let's try to figure out why. Are you being arrogant?

4. Sounds like maybe some issues on the home front; We all have them, but maybe you need some help to sort your out.

5. I hope you will seek a little objective help and I wish you well.