Bullying - Will HR help or make matters worse?

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Specializes in ED, med-surg, peri op.

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I am 100% being bullied by management at my job. I have had enough of the BS, and I’m looking to get out.

My job makes me feel so uncomfortable. My manager is nit-picking everything I do along with making things up trying to get rid of me. I worried every day I’m going to get unfairly fired, or worse affect my license. 

I am thinking about going to HR with direct examples. I have started a list of things happening so I have proof.  But from what I’ve seen other people go through, reporting bullying normally only makes matter worse. Is it even worth reporting??

Ideally, I would just leave. I don’t want to stay; it’s an awful job. Crap management, poor staffing, completely unsafe. The list goes on. Luckily the nurses on the floor are mostly good! 

I’m working in ED, but I’m wanting to go to some sort of outpatient/ Monday-Friday job. And so far everyone is saying I’m interviewing well, but there were more experienced candidates. I’m having more difficulties changing specialties than I did getting a job as a new grad! 

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I've never seen it work out well. If your manager wants you gone, the only solution is to leave or get fired.

 

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Unless you can prove something like sexual harassment, or a specific type of discrimination, it is unlikely HR can do anything.

Even if they could, do you even want to be still working there? Find another job and get out. Until then, do your best to maintain your physical and mental health under difficult circumstances. 

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HR is not there for you it is there for the facility and administration. Without a union if you go to them they will most certainly notify your manager and he/she will retaliate by making your life a living hell, creating a paper trail and ultimately terminating you. Update your resume, start interviewing and get out of there. 

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Specializes in School Nursing, Pediatrics.

HR is NOT your friend nor are they there to help you at all. They are only there for the institution and management.  Look for a new job if you are miserable.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

If your facility offers EAP services REACH OUT. They can help you. They're a third party and nothing you discuss with EAP will be shared with your work place.

 I was bullied by my manager and she wanted me out. I eventually did have to leave, but it was on my terms, not hers. With EAP's guidance, advice, coaching: I did go to HR, was able to explain my situation very matter of fact and professional way that perked HR's ears. 

The result: I was internally transferred. Not ideal, however had to happen. Was thankful for it in the end... for my own sanity. Also, that manager was eventually fired. 

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Specializes in Med surg, psych.

I’m being bullied by my manager as well. I have a chronic health condition (asthma new diagnosis 2 months ago) and she told me that after she talked to me about a mistake I made that I have to finish the shift keep myself together and can’t go to the ED because of my “asthma”. I directly asked her if she thinks I’m making up my diagnosis and she didn’t say anything. I’m currently looking for a new job. 
 

One time I did go to HR at another job after my charge nurse sexually assaulted me they fired him and got me to resign. I don’t suggest going to HR from my experience.

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Specializes in Critical Care.
On 10/11/2021 at 6:09 PM, guineapignurse said:

I’m being bullied by my manager as well. I have a chronic health condition (asthma new diagnosis 2 months ago) and she told me that after she talked to me about a mistake I made that I have to finish the shift keep myself together and can’t go to the ED because of my “asthma”. I directly asked her if she thinks I’m making up my diagnosis and she didn’t say anything. I’m currently looking for a new job. 
 

One time I did go to HR at another job after my charge nurse sexually assaulted me they fired him and got me to resign. I don’t suggest going to HR from my experience.

Step One: reach out to your resources and don't let fear/anxiety hold you back. Every situation is different (and that includes HR situations). 

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On 10/7/2021 at 7:11 AM, RNperdiem said:

Unless you can prove something like sexual harassment, or a specific type of discrimination, it is unlikely HR can do anything.

Even if they could, do you even want to be still working there? Find another job and get out. Until then, do your best to maintain your physical and mental health under difficult circumstances. 

You can request a free phone consult with a few attorneys. Shop around. There are lawyers who spec in nursing and labor. If you have evidence and have been documenting this could help you out. They'll tell you what you need to do or if you have a case. We, as nurses, need more legal protection from the medical industrial complex.

My bully was removed bec the drs and staff brought it up. Bully mgr was like a shamed based negative reinforcement auth style manager. At least half of the managers I've worked with over time were. I was good in my practice situation but she didn't ask about the full briefing on my patient. But she was quick to make a big fuss in front of everyone on the floor in front of me during the shift. I didn't have to do a thing....I didn't know it, but my professional colleagues took care of it. Since then, everytime I come across that kind of personality... I get anxiety triggered. This was the beginning of the end of my career in nursing. The next manager was super and everyone loved her. But with my burnout and lack of support, I left in under a yr. later.

I notice that bully managers don't act alone. They recruit favorites who then create an environment of control. There needs to be a pathway to correct this that protects us.  I wish I would have known if I had a suit. I would have sued.  I hope nurses going through it band together and throw the bullies under the bus or win lawsuits. I will support a victim in court. 

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Specializes in Critical Care.
On 10/7/2021 at 11:59 PM, BeatsPerMinute said:

If your facility offers EAP services REACH OUT. They can help you. They're a third party and nothing you discuss with EAP will be shared with your work place.

 I was bullied by my manager and she wanted me out. I eventually did have to leave, but it was on my terms, not hers. With EAP's guidance, advice, coaching: I did go to HR, was able to explain my situation very matter of fact and professional way that perked HR's ears. 

The result: I was internally transferred. Not ideal, however had to happen. Was thankful for it in the end... for my own sanity. Also, that manager was eventually fired. 

I'm glad it worked out for you, but I wouldn't recommend going that route.  I think your experience was an anomaly, not a typical response.  Usually HR does not help and the manager might use a write up to keep you from transferring if they are bullying you.

 

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Specializes in Critical Care.

Maybe. EAP couldn't hurt either way. 

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Specializes in ED, med-surg, peri op.

I have just been offered an interview for another job. Low stress, Monday to Friday, decent pay. I know it’s just a interview, and there’s no guarantees, but I’m so bloody excited.

Fingers crossed this is my ticket out of here. 

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