Best practice for comforting embarassed patient?

Hannahbanana, BSN, MSN · Mar 8, 2021

Matter of fact, professional, compassionate is perfect. You could add, “I know this is distressing and embarrassing. This is a common side effect of XYZ, we see it often. (If true, add that there is PRN med prescribed to help) Let’s just get it (not “you”) cleaned up and use some of this cream to protect your skin. Would you like a disposable brief just in case? This will get better.”

JBMmom, MSN, NP · Mar 9, 2021

Agree with Hannahbanana, I try to be matter of fact. I usually point out that their body is under a lot of stress in whatever situation they are facing and it's not at all uncommon for it to happen. Depending on the patient, I might try to add reassurance that it doesn't indicate the beginning of an ongoing condition, but for some patients less talking is better. You'll take queues from your patients on how to best approach them as individuals. Good luck.

TheMoonisMyLantern, ADN, LPN, RN · Mar 9, 2021

Usually the conversation goes something like "Oh I peed/pooped the bed, I'm so sorry." I hate it when someone apologizes for being incontinent because it's just one of those things that can happen when you're ill/old/dying etc. so I usually make a point to say, "You don't need to apologize, it happens to everyone, that's what we're here for." that's worked for me so far. I always feel bad when someone is so embarrassed because I know I would be too, and as nurses we really don't mind cleaning folks up it's what we do everyday!

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Mar 9, 2021

I remember being incontinent once after I had my first C-section. I was young, and I was SO embarrassed! Of course I apologized profusely to the nurse and aide who were cleaning me up and changing my bed. The nurse just looked at me kindly and said “Honey, we see this all the time, it’s really common after childbirth. Don’t worry about it—you’re not inconveniencing us at all. This is what we do.”

Needless to say, those words made me feel much less ashamed, and the next time I had to pee I was able to get up and make it to the toilet. I’ve never forgotten that nurse’s compassion. And I paid it forward when I became an aide and then a nurse. A little empathy goes a long way in helping a patient maintain their dignity.

Davey Do · Mar 11, 2021

On 3/9/2021 at 3:44 AM, VivaLasViejas said:

Don’t worry about it—you’re not inconveniencing us at all. This is what we do.”

Exactamundo.

And if they would go on about their embarrassment, I would tell them of a time that I was in traction and casts and crapped the bed, so I knew how it felt.

If they continued, I said, "This is the whole reason that I became a nurse".

And if they still persisted, I'd tell the story of my acceptance into nursing due to lighting a candle to spite the darkness.

By this time they either got bored with my rhetoric or the hygienic measures were completed.

JBMmom, MSN, NP · Mar 12, 2021

1 hour ago, Davey Do said:

By this time they either got bored with my rhetoric or the hygienic measures were completed.

You're right, I do find that distraction while cleaning up is often the best medicine. Asking them about pets or family usually perks people up. By the time they circle back to being dirty or apologizing, I've got it finished and they realize I wasn't kidding about it being no big deal.

FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN · Mar 12, 2021

On 3/7/2021 at 9:37 PM, AdelaideSole said:

Hello all, I am a new nurse working on a heme/onc floor. What is the best way to comfort a patient who may just have experienced their first episode of incontinence? I find that the loss of bladder/bowel control can be really distressing for patients. I sometimes float to psych and I noticed these patients tend to experience nocturnal enuresis and can be really embarrassed.

If I suspect that a patient is soiled I won’t even mention it I will just say “hey let’s get you cleaned up.” However most patients are really embarrassed. What’s best way to approach this.

I also try to be really discreet when handing the family any soiled patient belongings, but oftentimes the patient gets quite embarrassed as well.

Any advice appreciated.

Don't hand the family soiled belongings.

The patient should have control over what happens to their soiled belongings.

If at all possible these should be washed on the premises. And by the patient if possible. (In psych we have washers on the unit).

Also minimal attention is best. But a comment like "This is very common and I see it all the time," can be helpful. The more non chalant you are about it, the easier it is on them.