Baby vs no baby... help!

shibaowner, MSN, RN, NP · Sep 16, 2017

Why would your medical bills be higher if you waited to have a baby? If you can wait to have the baby, you should wait at least until you have finished clinicals and have the baby when you are in the online portion or after you have finished school. Women have had babies while going to nursing school, but it is not easy to juggle school with a baby.

Extra Pickles · Sep 16, 2017

A newborn baby with a boyfriend and (you hope) grandmothers for childcare is an exceptionally difficult road to begin as a nursing student. The "easiest" babies are time consuming and don't sleep when you want/need them to....and get sick at exactly the most inconvenient times. They are more work than you can imagine now and you will be more exhausted than you can imagine now. And, not to be all weird and judgy, but let's face it, a boyfriend is not a husband and you can't KNOW for a fact that he is going to be this amazing Daddy helping out all he possibly can when the excrement hits the circulating device, and if HE isn't then you can't count on his mother's help either and now you're a single mother of a newborn trying to manage nursing school and part-time help from your mom and maybe a part-time daycare (when the infant is old enough for that). Hard doesn't even begin to cover it. And since you described a 3-semester program that tells me they are concentrated, intense courses without any time to slack, certainly not for a sick or sleepless child (or parent), not for a childcare issue.

If you can avoid a baby while in school AT ALL, that's the way I'd suggest. Not before, not during, but after. That's my advice, anyway.

Pepper The Cat, BSN, RN · Sep 16, 2017

No, don't have a baby. Get a cat instead. Cats are awesome.

Editorial Team / Moderator · Sep 16, 2017

Wait until you can dedicate time to your baby vs. trying to fit a baby into an already hectic schedule. Trust me on this! You will want to be able devote time to your baby. Plus there is not much sleep for the first few months, lol.

TPI RN · Sep 17, 2017

I delivered my first baby two months into nursing school. Difficult does not begin to explain it. The exhaustion makes it that much harder to retain any information. Wait, you'll be much more successful and confident as you work through your program.

rheath22 · Sep 17, 2017

I have two kids (10 & 5) and I am a junior in my BSN program. A baby changes everything. I am going through a divorce also.

Big, giant life changes like a baby, divorce make nursing school 100x difficult in my opinion.

I feel like I have to work so much harder than the others. I have seen people have babies and end up dropping out, but I have also seen them graduate. Personally, I would reconsider it.

bluescrubs, ADN, ASN, RN · Sep 17, 2017

I always say career over babies. You will be relying on your parents and assistance for your baby so I would say wait till you can do it independently. Who knows if you will be with this person after nursing school.

Abby_3191 · Sep 17, 2017

Just to clarify, my medical bills would be higher because right now my employer only charges $30 a month and all pre and post natal care is covered, versus quitting my job and relying on health insurance that would be more expensive. Also, my boyfriend has a daughter who is 8 and he is an excellent father so I have no doubts he wouldn't to our child. We just bought a house together so I would hope he isn't going anywhere. I appreciate everyone's input! I'm thinking on finishing the classes I can take outside of the nursing program. I have 4 left for my bachelor's portion. Then I would only have 3 classes per semester and 2 per semester for my BSN.

bluescrubs, ADN, ASN, RN · Sep 17, 2017

Just to clarify, my medical bills would be higher because right now my employer only charges $30 a month and all pre and post natal care is covered, versus quitting my job and relying on health insurance that would be more expensive. Also, my boyfriend has a daughter who is 8 and he is an excellent father so I have no doubts he wouldn't to our child. We just bought a house together so I would hope he isn't going anywhere. I appreciate everyone's input! I'm thinking on finishing the classes I can take outside of the nursing program. I have 4 left for my bachelor's portion. Then I would only have 3 classes per semester and 2 per semester for my BSN.

What is your age if you don't mind me asking? If it's an age factor or a medical reason that you need to conceive soon then I understand the rush but if you are still in your 20's or early 30's then you have more than enough time.

NotMyProblem MSN, ASN, BSN, MSN, LPN, RN · Sep 18, 2017

I've always told my daughter to plan her life as if she will be the sole provider. If someone enters her life and stays for the duration, this would only add to her accomplishments. If he doesn't, then the only thing she would lose is someone who wasn't worth her time in the first place.

In this day in age, having children, buying a house, etc., means absolutely NOTHING when a person decides that he or she no longer wants to endure the stress/journey/struggle. Childcare will be the responsibility of the parents, not the grandparents, regardless of what they tell you. I think it would be wise to limit plans that would involve 'optional' people...if you want those plans to succeed. Even then, there are no guarantees.

I've give you only one of many scenarios: You have a final coming up. You've studied so hard for it. Grandparents are out of town visiting a sick friend or relative (or are feeling under the weather themselves), so they're not available to babysit. "Boyfriend" has to work because he is the only provider in the household and cannot afford to miss the hours...perhaps because he needs the income, or maybe because he's come to the rescue one too many times and his supervisor has given his last warning. Whatever the reason, you have no childcare on the day of your final exam, and to miss the exam would mean an automatic failure. What would you do? You can't take the little darling with you to class. This is something to think about.

Back in my nursing school days, the only thing that we were allowed to make up was clinical hours, provided we were passing the classes and had a very good reason for being absent. Lack of childcare was not on the list of legitimate reasons.

These and similar scenarios are worth considering before making such an important decision. Nothing about your household should be dependent upon anyone who lives elsewhere.

But, the decision is yours alone since you would be the pregnant student. Proceed with caution..

bluescrubs, ADN, ASN, RN · Sep 18, 2017

I've always told my daughter to plan her life as if she will be the sole provider. If someone enters her life and stays for the duration, this would only add to her accomplishments. If he doesn't, then the only thing she would lose is someone who wasn't worth her time in the first place.
In this day in age, having children, buying a house, etc., means absolutely NOTHING when a person decides that he or she no longer wants to endure the stress/journey/struggle. Childcare will be the responsibility of the parents, not the grandparents, regardless of what they tell you. I think it would be wise to limit plans that would involve 'optional' people...if you want those plans to succeed. Even then, there are no guarantees.
I've give you only one of many scenarios: You have a final coming up. You've studied so hard for it. Grandparents are out of town visiting a sick friend or relative (or are feeling under the weather themselves), so they're not available to babysit. "Boyfriend" has to work because he is the only provider in the household and cannot afford to miss the hours...perhaps because he needs the income, or maybe because he's come to the rescue one too many times and his supervisor has given his last warning. Whatever the reason, you have no childcare on the day of your final exam, and to miss the exam would mean an automatic failure. What would you do? You can't take the little darling with you to class. This is something to think about.
Back in my nursing school days, the only thing that we were allowed to make up was clinical hours, provided we were passing the classes and had a very good reason for being absent. Lack of childcare was not on the list of legitimate reasons.
These and similar scenarios are worth considering before making such an important decision. Nothing about your household should be dependent upon anyone who lives elsewhere.
But, the decision is yours alone since you would be the pregnant student. Proceed with caution..

Smart momma í ½í±í ¼í¿¾. I feel like most advice from moms (I've seen a few bad ones so I can't say all) are so full of wisdom and love. Years ago my mom told me to focus on school instead of my boyfriend at the time. Boy do I wish I had listened. Luckily I got my act together before it was too late. One of the reasons why I want to be a nurse is so I can be independent and not have to ask anyone for anything!