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Attention nurse bullies... and victims!!

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by Xtina, BSN, RN Xtina, BSN, RN (Member)

1,174 Visitors; 16 Posts

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You are reading page 10 of Attention nurse bullies... and victims!!. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

morelostthanfound has 27 years experience as a BSN and works as a R.N..

4,839 Visitors; 197 Posts

16 hours ago, Persephone Paige said:

People are often too open at work. Work is what I do, it's not who I am. It's very possible to be genuine, without letting a coworker 'in.' I think victims invite predators by wanting something, needing validation, etc. These people are not my friends. My friends I've had since grade school. 

My coworkers are strangers, I treat them as such. Strangers seldom bully, bullies need an inside angle, don't let them in. I do my job, I go home. My needs are met by people I trust. 

 

Hey Persephone Paige, while I agree with you, I have also seen this approach backfire.  Some nursing units are especially 'cliquey' and if a new nurse is just naturally reserved, quiet, and not overly ingratiating, they are sometimes labeled as 'snobs', or standoffish.  With that, comes the inevitable snubs and it's only a matter of time until they tire of the mind games, bad treatment, and are looking elsewhere for a new job-seen it happen more than once!

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Persephone Paige has 15 years experience as a ADN and works as a Med-Surg.

4 Followers; 1 Article; 3,504 Visitors; 656 Posts

4 hours ago, morelostthanfound said:

Hey Persephone Paige, while I agree with you, I have also seen this approach backfire.  Some nursing units are especially 'cliquey' and if a new nurse is just naturally reserved, quiet, and not overly ingratiating, they are sometimes labeled as 'snobs', or standoffish.  With that, comes the inevitable snubs and it's only a matter of time until they tire of the mind games, bad treatment, and are looking elsewhere for a new job-seen it happen more than once!

I guess you'd have to care about being labeled. But, okay.

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5,697 Visitors; 748 Posts

On 3/9/2019 at 1:45 PM, Ruby Vee said:

You're right -- I misread "young, and pretty" and "young and pretty."  And there have been so many posts from young people who believe that their older colleagues hate them because they're beautiful.

I read too quickly and made assumptions.  I apologize.

 Some older women can be jealous of young and pretty women, not all but some.

 

 

Edited by Workitinurfava

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morelostthanfound has 27 years experience as a BSN and works as a R.N..

4,839 Visitors; 197 Posts

On 3/9/2019 at 5:15 PM, Persephone Paige said:

I guess you'd have to care about being labeled. But, okay.

No labels just petty mistreatment everday!

 

Edited by morelostthanfound

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Persephone Paige has 15 years experience as a ADN and works as a Med-Surg.

4 Followers; 1 Article; 3,504 Visitors; 656 Posts

9 hours ago, morelostthanfound said:

No labels just petty mistreatment everday!

 

I get that. And I do get that everyone is wired differently. But, what are they going to do? They can't kill you and if they can't kill you, what can they do? It's my hope that every nurse who is having a hard time right now will one day understand this. If I ask for information and someone withholds it, I'll call the charge nurse one floor up and ask. Or the house supervisor... That's the only situation that could unnerve me, was if I needed info and someone knew but wouldn't share. Otherwise, they can stay on their own side of the street and welcome.

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On 10/18/2016 at 3:29 PM, vanessaem said:

As far as bullying goes, nursing and in life in general, people only do to you what you let them do. Bullies pick on those whom they perceive to be weak. Nip things in the bud from the start and you should be fine.

Bullies are relentless.  So lets say you won't allow yourself to be bullied, so now they go after your job and get you fired.  Try going up against a nurse that has 10 years exp with the same organization and you are a recent hire or less than 2 years. It never ends well. It's best to just leave before tensions escalate pass a point of no return. 

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kp2016 has 20 years experience.

3,027 Visitors; 196 Posts

I have been on the receiving end of bullying once. This person was my preceptor and incredibly nasty to me. She would comb through my charts even after I was off orientation looking for any mistakes then publicly berating me even if the mistake was tiny. She once told my patient "i'm so sorry for you that you have her as your nurse" this was months into her daily harassment of me. I was so shocked and embarrassed I couldn't speak. My patient actually told her her comments were mean and unnecessary. She laughed and said obviously she was only joking. Yeah right!

I hated my job and hated going to work. I tried speaking with her, being friendly with her, ignoring the comments and eventually had to go with trying to avoid her which was very difficult in the unit we worked in. When I spoke to my manager about her she actually made excuses for her behaviour.

By far the worst part is how many people witnessed how I was being treated never once defended me or called her on her behavior. The patient was the only person who ever acknowledged that she was openly targeting me.  She abruptly left after about a year and I couldn't have been happier, but honestly even years later I struggle to let go of my anger with the managers and coworkers who ignored her atrocious behavior. It gave me great satisfaction to resign that job for a better one and to tell them no I wouldn't consider staying when the manager begged me not to leave.

Edited by kp2016

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2 Followers; 5,902 Visitors; 1,049 Posts

I think the degree of bullying that is allowed to exist in nursing greatly surpasses anything conceivable in any other profession, and sometimes even strains credulity.

That was my experience. For that reason, I am no longer in it.

I am in the alternate NP universe.

I know some people are lucky, and they only encounter the occasional mildly unpleasant colleague.

My experience was not like that. 

I now understand that I am not the crazy one.

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Truth66 has 15 years experience.

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I've spoken out against bullying in the workplace and schools for years.  I just got an e-mail which included the following article on bullying in Nursing.

https://www.massey.ac.nz/massey/about-massey/news/article.cfm?mnarticle_uuid=9BA23DFF-8708-47DD-AF99-1E20BD4C368C

The New Zealand article references a staff survey that indicated 32 percent of the staff felt bullied at work.  That is completely outrageous.

Edited by Truth66

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