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Are nurses unsupportive spouse magnets??

Nurses   (14,301 Views 83 Comments)
by sticknurse sticknurse (Member) Member

1,873 Profile Views; 72 Posts

Hey just taking this to the people. What's your opinion? Are nurturing types like us often attracted to the wrong types? Do you do "everything for everyone" at home as well as at work? How do you cope with the situation? Where do you draw the line? Any advice?

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TheCommuter has 10 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

1 Follower; 228 Articles; 27,607 Posts; 317,966 Profile Views

Many of my female nurse coworkers are married to men who are either unemployed, underemployed, unsupportive, uneducated or undereducated, abusive, addicted, or controlling.

Since many nurses have wonderful spouses who are great sources or support, I know this is definitely not the case with all married members of the nursing profession. However, I was just relaying my observations.

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11,191 Posts; 53,897 Profile Views

really, commuter?

really, emmanuel?

hmmm.

haven't seen either.

i know plenty of nurses who are married to firefighters and policemen.

hmmmm, again.

leslie

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Tweety has 28 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

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We can nuture and not be co-depedent. If we as nurses are nurturing people at work and them come home to become Atilla the Hun, what's the point in that? When I was "married" part of my purpose in life was to nuture the relationship, our home and our family (us and the two dogs....LOL). This actually came first before any job or patient.

However, it can't be all give give give without help. We deserve to be in relationships where we ourselves are nutured. It's a give and take thing.

If you're not getting the nuturing you need, then counseling might help.

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TheCommuter has 10 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

1 Follower; 228 Articles; 27,607 Posts; 317,966 Profile Views

really, commuter?
I had also stated in my previous post, in the second paragraph, that many nurses have wonderful spouses who are great sources of support.

Also, some female nurses have "married up" and have spouses who are physicians, attorneys, engineers, businessmen, and so forth.

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Tweety has 28 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

2 Followers; 28,921 Posts; 47,940 Profile Views

I had also stated in my previous post, in the second paragraph, that many nurses have wonderful spouses who are great sources or support.

Also, some female nurses have "married up" and have spouses who are physicians, attorneys, engineers, businessmen, and so forth.

Nursing and their spouses are just to broad across the country to make any kind of generalization like we're "unsupportive spouse magnets". Your experience with the nurses you know and work with is interesting. I've seen you make a lot of negative statements about nurses, wonder if the area you live is a magnet for dysfunctional nurses. ;)

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TheCommuter has 10 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

1 Follower; 228 Articles; 27,607 Posts; 317,966 Profile Views

Nursing and their spouses are just to broad across the country to make any kind of generalization like we're "unsupportive spouse magnets". Your experience with the nurses you know and work with is interesting. I've seen you make a lot of negative statements about nurses, wonder if the area you live is a magnet for dysfunctional nurses. ;)
Perhaps. . .

Or, maybe I'm becoming too jaded and disillusioned way too soon in my career. :eek:

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jenrninmi has 11 years experience as a MSN, RN and specializes in L&D.

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Nope, not where I work and definately not in my case. Husband is an engineer, and also in the Army National Guard, a very hard worker, and pulls more than his share at home. Other nurses I work with - husbands tend to be engineers, policemen, firefighters, business owners...

Maybe it depends on where you live?

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Tweety has 28 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

2 Followers; 28,921 Posts; 47,940 Profile Views

Perhaps. . .

Or, maybe I'm becoming too jaded and disillusioned way too soon in my career. :eek:

Happens to the best of us. :)

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72 Posts; 1,873 Profile Views

Thank you for your input. I am inquiring because I feel like I've learned the hard way personally, how to look out for myself. I used to allow my ex to cause me all kinds of problems. I finally let him go. I would have advised a client to get out, but I stayed and put up with it for a long time. I finally took a class about boundaries, where I learned to stand up and protect what was good about myself. I didn't have to be understanding when others abused me at home. I didn't have to make excuses for them ie. well, he's had a rough time, and he's emotionally compromised due to his childhood etc. There's no way I would go down that path again, but I did. Here I thought I was smarter than that!! Met alot of nurses along the way who had similar situations. Just wondered how you all have coped...keep em coming!!

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Tweety has 28 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

2 Followers; 28,921 Posts; 47,940 Profile Views

Thank you for your input. I am inquiring because I feel like I've learned the hard way personally, how to look out for myself. I used to allow my ex to cause me all kinds of problems. I finally let him go. I would have advised a client to get out, but I stayed and put up with it for a long time. I finally took a class about boundaries, where I learned to stand up and protect what was good about myself. I didn't have to be understanding when others abused me at home. I didn't have to make excuses for them ie. well, he's had a rough time, and he's emotionally compromised due to his childhood etc. There's no way I would go down that path again, but I did. Here I thought I was smarter than that!! Met alot of nurses along the way who had similar situations. Just wondered how you all have coped...keep em coming!!

Thansk for sharing. I'm sure that you can use your experience to help others.

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