Anyone haunted by "incidents" at work.....

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HI everyone...long time no see....

Anywho..I'm a nurse on a med/surg unit in a fairly rural area. I have gained a lot of confidence and the house supervisors actually refer to me as "the best nurse on med/surg"...which boosts my confidence even more...BUT...I am still finding though...(after 6 years now..eeek)...that I tend to let isolated incidents stick with me.

Without giving too much info....I had a patient that never should have been admitted to med/surg in the first place. She was a trauma patient...elderly..enough said. Anyways...I walked into her room and she did not look good..I called the on call doctor..got a few orders..and monitored...by am...still wasn't feeling right about her...called her regular doc(he was to take over in the am)..he came to see her and immediately had her copter'd out.

I felt soooo bad after this whole thing...like I should have called again, been more aggressive, called again sooner,etc. I guess everything turned out ok but I still think about the whole thing everyday. Her doc..(who is also my family doc)..didn't appear mad at me or anything...but i'm just wondering if he thinks I'm a big dummy or something. I haven't even been in to see him because I feel like he thinks I'm a horrible nurse. I did call two physicians, monitored the patient closely, and she didn't ever change the whole night..it was just that she was down the tubes from the get go. I think my doc was more upset over the fact that she was admitted to med/surg to begin with.

I feel so stupid that I let things like that stick with me. I guess I just want to be super nurse or something and when things don't go right or if I kick myself for the "should have done that' thing...I get anxious, depressed...even to the point of wanting to quit nursing. I'm seriously starting to wonder if I need Xanax or something? Anyone feel like this every...or am i the only one?

I guess maybe I don't have as much confidence in myself as I thought.....I know stuff happens and we need to just go on...but for some reason..I can't..I think about this night all the time and sometimes it makes me not even want to be a nurse anymore....does anyone know what I'm talking about? Of course..I was super worried about the patient...but now...two months out..I'm worrying about what others...i.e. my doctor thinks of me...is that crazy or what? Ok..I guess I'm done rambling...I think I needed to vent more than anything....any comments or similar feelings anyone could share might make me feel better.......??? Ok..thanks everyone....

Luv,

snoop'

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Specializes in Family.

You did fabulous! You made sure the pt got taken care of, and were an advocate for her. It wasn't your decision to admit her, and you took all the appropriate steps to take care of her! Kudos to you!

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You sound like such a wonderful caring nurse!! I think you need to focus on the positive- that you did the right thing and may have even saved the woman's life!! You should be proud of that and not dwell on what could have been. It is human nature for us to beat ourselves up and we all do it from time to time. As they say we are our own worst critics!

It was a nurse who saved my life once when I was discharged from the hospital too soon after a lung hemmorage and upon discharge, she whispered to me that she was sure the dx was wrong (pneumonia) as she had never seen that much blood and she begged me to see another doc ASAP. Well I did and sure enough it was a hemmorage full on with one lung completely collapsed and the other about 75% filled with blood.

I have a feeling that you have the same qualities of questioning what does not seem right, and when that woman was under your care you went above and beyond the call of duty by consulting not once, but twice. That gut instinct and the level of care and comapssion is what makes a great nurse!! :kiss

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OH my gosh...thank you soooooooooo much you guys....that seriously instantly makes me feel better!!!!! I just wish I could let things go a little easier....ugggggghh...that's always been hard for me for some reason. I do feel that I am caring and I do usually have a good gut instinct..lol..I guess I should be proud of that.

hugs,

snoop

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IloveSnoopy:

I have often, daily, had thoughts like yours though I’m a CNA.

I agree with the above posts. :) :)

A returning student,

Angels’

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Specializes in Hospice, Med/Surg, ICU, ER.

I learned a LONG time age, as an EMT, that you do your absolute best for each and every patient, no matter the cost; and once you've done all your training and instinct tell you, you turn that patient (and his or her outcome) over to God.

Sounds like you have the first part down pat.... the second will come eventually.

For the record, I personally think you did great! :smokin:

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It sounds to me as if you did everything right. One personality trait most nurses.emt,etc. have is that they are slightly obsessive-compulsive. We all over analyze our actions because of our sense of responsibility. You would need to be concerned if you didn't go back over what was done and if it could be done better. That's how we learn to be better nurses. Your scope of experience will become greater each day and this stuff will be easier to deal with. As far as the Dr.- I'm sure he would have let you know if he thought something else should have been done-UNLESS- as you thought, the initial room assignment wasn't correct. Hang in there, it sounds as tho' you have all the right instincts.

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