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AM I WRONG or Right

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by jbluehorseh jbluehorseh (Member) Member

jbluehorseh specializes in Chemo.

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I recently wrote my charge nurse up for harassment. Please keep in mind I did not take the issue lightly. When I first started working she was on the point of being cruel, we eventually came to a truce so to speak. Her reason she told to me one shift was that I had an attitude. Which may have been true, however if one does degrade me, insult or try to humiliate me, yes I do cop an attitude. This is how she treated all new men to the unit because they need to be fixed and all men had problems with women in charge. I told her she was way off base. Most men do not have that problem, and if one stands there in treats a person badly of course he will have an attitude. I also told her that most of all my past bosses have been women.

For a while there was not any problem she had stop harassing me. It was to a point that we did a couple things out side of work with other coworkers. She still came off as harsh and negative and for the most part I just did not engage her negative. Come to find out her attitude has gotten her in trouble before which coincide with her attitude change towards me.

 

The day I decided to write her was on the heels of a busy month for the whole hospital because we were shorthanded and we been running the shift without a charge nurse, but the charge still had to do both jobs. For the last couple of months she has been very on the negative side and snapping at people and focusing some of that anger on me. That night once again we were shorthanded and she was going to have to take an assignment at midnight to 0300, one nurse stayed over to midnight so it was only for a couple of hours. She was mad very mad, and I learn to stay clear of her went she gets mad. She started to lay into me and insulted me if front of stat and doctors and disagreed with she side I did and walked away, there was no point engaging her in that level when in that mood. At that point I was thinking about writingher up, but more likely to blow it off. Sometime later that shift she said something to that was not nice. It was then I decided to write her up. I was to a point where I was just tiered ofthe whole anger negative nurse. It is old it, does not make one a better nurse and it only take down morale of the unit. Her pain is no greater than anybody on that unit. The most important part is that I do not have this issue with any other charge nurse in the hospital. Now she is very angry at me because she said she always had my back to a greater or much lesser degree. dagger marks included.

 

So was I wrong or wright in writing her up.

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61 Posts; 3,712 Profile Views

I mean... It's one of those iffy situations I'm sure. I know from experience it's not fun to work with someone u have written up but that doesn't mean you should be thwarted from doing so..

Without knowing exactly what she said to u it's hard to say for sure but if u feel threatened or uncomfortable going to your manager or writing the person up or whatever is better than it escalating--or u being uncomfortable every time u work. It's not your fault ur a male.. And I know how hard it is to work with women sometime ;)

Your situation presents a new set of issues. It seems like u handle urself well. Everybody needs to have a little fight in them from time to time ;)

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TheCommuter has 10 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

1 Follower; 228 Articles; 27,607 Posts; 317,641 Profile Views

Without knowing the whole story, I would say you're right. Bullying and harrassing behaviors need to be addressed, or else they'll fester and continue.

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1 Follower; 51 Articles; 4,800 Posts; 93,449 Profile Views

I would no longer engage her outside of work. That "changed" your relationship from professional to personal. When one has a personal relationship, (and in essence a friendship) one is more in tune to attitude changes and takes things more personally. People have the "right" not to be engaging and full of glitter and unicorns. You do your work, they do theirs, life goes on. But what I would report on is the fact that this nurse made derogatory comments, expressed that she had an issue with your attitude, comments about you being a man, therefore that was an "issue" (REALLY?!?!). Personal issues need to be left at the door, especially when this nurse is in charge. That she chooses to use her power for evil instead of good is inexcusible. With that being said, that you have fratenized outside of the workplace suggests a friendship, which then can become a matter of "I was only KIDDING, we are friends....." (which is actually what a lot of people who are abusive say to excuse this kind of passive agressive bull) so unfortuntely,depending on who is going to actually hear and act on this complaint, and as wrong as it is-- could be taken into consideration or not. In any event, there is not a reason in the world you have to be the brunt of bad behavior.

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jbluehorseh specializes in Chemo.

131 Posts; 4,685 Profile Views

There is more to the story without wanting to go into geat detail. I never been one to write up a co worker. the sad part she can be a good person and leader when she wants too.

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