Am I a bad nurse???

LARPingRN · May 14, 2016

Maybe it's just me, but when you are training I need to see things done more than once before I can remember verbatim.

You are not a bad nurse because you need to be shown how to do things "more than once." You cannot be expected to memorize every policy and procedure in any facility with just one time being shown.

Also the fact that I am a nurse, and most of the staff in my position are medical assistants and they are way more experience than me.

The MAs in your office have been in your office how much longer than you? Of course they know the policy and procedures better.

It sounds to me like you're giving up too quickly. Don't do that! I'm also very new to nursing (also graduated in December and passed boards in January) and of course there are days when I go home and question myself and my choice to become a nurse.

The mistakes you say you're making sound like rushing mistakes. Slow. Down. Just keep swimming! And explain to your co-workers that you're having a hard time and may need their help navigating your new role. Is there anyone in the office that you've clicked with? I would suggest starting there.

sassysoutheRN · May 14, 2016

You are not a bad nurse! You are not "stupid" either! You've made it through nursing school right? Obtaining a nursing degree and license is not an easy task. You have to give yourself time. I can't stress this enough. The first year out of nursing school is always the toughest, no matter what area you're in. It's a transition period where you are learning how to apply the very basic nursing skills that you learned in school to the real world. There's an entire thread about first year nurses on here. I cried going to work everyday for the first 6 months of my career, but I held on and things got better. It will take you at least a year to feel comfortable in any area you work in. Even when you change specialties and try new areas of nursing, you will need to allow yourself time to learn and get comfortable with the new role. I recently changed specialties and I still get a little nervous at work...almost feel like a new grad again lol.

Don't beat yourself up for making mistakes. I've been a nurse for 5 years and I work with nurses who have been in the field for 20 years and we all still make mistakes. It's human nature, and it's how we learn. No one is perfect. Also, never be afraid to ask questions or ask to see things demonstrated for u again. This is the only way you will become competent in your job. No question is a dumb question. Personally, I am a repeat learner. I have to see and do things multiple times before it really sticks. Keep in mind that everyone you work with started from the bottom like you. The person that you are learning from has been in your shoes before. We were all newbies and some point in our career.

Don't give up. Stay at your job for at least a year to get a feel for what nursing is. I can almost guarantee that you will have a different perspective by then. The good thing about nursing is that you can work in a multitude of areas and specialties. Learn some basic nursing skills first, and then explore and find your niche in whatever area of nursing that you enjoy!

Nurse131382 · May 14, 2016

Take a deep breath. You are being way too hard on yourself. Some of these mistakes could be anxiety, but you're also new. Give yourself a break and time to learn the swing of things! :cat:

WoosahRN, MSN, RN · May 14, 2016

You are a NEW nurse, you are not a BAD nurse. You need to learn and appreciate the difference and give yourself a break. All the things you described involve experience, not knowledge. You have the knowledge. You passed nursing school and the NCLEX. Get to know your coworkers and slow down while you are doing things. And remember this experience so you can be a great teacher and a patient coworker when you have a new colleague.

Newnurse65 · May 15, 2016

I think you are right. Thank you for responding, I don't have anyone to talk to about these kind of things. Most of my friends are not in the medical field. I think what makes the anxiety worse, is that it such a small office. I can hear people talking about me, and I am constantly being watched like a hawk. I can't tell if they like me, or if they are looking for reasons to get rid of me.

RNperdiem, RN · May 15, 2016

Don't be too quick to throw in the towel after a few months. It really does take time to develop your skill.

If you decided you wanted to learn to play a musical instrument, would you expect flawless, professional level skill from a newbie with a few months practice? Nursing is like that. You have to get through the hard part, which is the beginning.

It might sound counterintutive, but slow down. Breathe.

James W. · May 16, 2016

I think the OP's situation shows up a major failure fairly due to

the academic take-over of registered nurse preparation.

I graduated from a 3 year hospital-based 'nurse training' program,

& years later did a 'modern' academic institution based

'nursing education' program.

As a hospital-based nurse trainee, a fundamental grasp of the

practical basics was required to progress,

& we had to pass 'Hospital Finals' exams which included

demonstrating such practice competencies to a real standard,

which were then certified.

This was a prerequisite step prior to even being

'put forward' - to sit the state final exams,

& a perquisite for being admitted to the register of nurses.

The academic program, by contrast, appeared to pay scant

attention to such actually meaningful matters, & I am certain

that many academic nursing graduates are in fact, as attested to

by the OP, not properly/practically prepared for the regular

daily functions inherent to real life nursing situations.

This is not only a professional-to-patient safety issue, but a

contributory reason for a ( certainly too high) ratio of nursing

graduates having the belated realization - that nursing work

as it is, really isn't for them, & promptly walking away from it.

A sad, expensive & wastefully needless outcome, IMO.

I appreciate the OP having the courage to be actively reflective,

& canvass the views of those experienced in the field here.

An 'Elephant in the Room' topic of nursing today though, huh?

Libby1987 · May 16, 2016

I agree with above poster. As well as there are inherent characteristics that affect where the bar is set.

You have a few nurses/staff come in who are naturally focused, confident and detailed oriented then the expectations go up with their ability to jump in more quickly. Where one might have gotten a longer more tolerant orientation, a predecessor might have given the impression it can be done in less time. It may not mean they have more knowledge in general but they might be natural performers.

Like with sports, some kids are just plain more coachable. Doesn't mean they have all of the talent but it seems that way on first impression.

And then there's just the general impatience we all experience. We get frustrated when a page doesn't load immediately. "Dang internet is so slow today!" Can you imagine having to drive down to a library to pull a reference book? Expectations are high everywhere.

OP, you are not a bad nurse based on what you've described, in the workforce these days we are just expected to catch on and be productive more quickly than ever. If details, speed and confidence are not your strong points, then invest in improving them, think of it as part of your base education.

purplegal · May 16, 2016

Nah, you are not a bad nurse. You just haven't found your routine, and are still trying to get a handle on things.

I know what it's like when coworkers view you as incapable, but chances are, they've been in the job so long that they've forgotten what it's like to be new. It's possible, and probable, that they don't view you as "not smart" but rather, they are not sure the best way to help you. If anyone does give you a hard time for asking to be shown things a second time, shame on them. It is better to ask, even if you have been shown before, than to do something wrong and have to correct a mistake. What you are describing doesn't sound like a bad nurse, you're just needing time to figure out some organizational and time management skills.

Loracs72 · May 16, 2016

I have worked as a nurse for 40 years. One of my later jobs was working in a state job. After a few months I realized I just wasn't "getting it". It was totally different than anything in nursing that I had done. I felt the same way you do, that even though I would ask for help, I still didn't get it. I was miserable in that job. I realized that type of nursing job just wasn't for me. I resigned from that job. I have never felt that way about a job in my whole career, but I do know that I've been successful in many other nursing jobs. Keep at it if you can. Don't let the staff intimidate you. As someone said, they probably forgot how it feels to be in that situation. Just give it time.

BunnyBuns · May 16, 2016

My nurse preceptor told me, "You should be able to see something once and then do it on your own...I've had to show you how to do this multiple times already." I can't figure out the computer system to save my life and I make dumb mistakes. I had a patient who was in a wheelchair and deaf. I signed to him "follow me" and assumed he knew how to use a wheelchair...boy was I mistaken. My nurse preceptor wound up yelling at me, saying, "Why the heck would you do that? What were your thoughts? He's an acutely injured patient. You should be the one pushing the wheelchair." My rationale was, if the patient can do it themselves, let them do it to maintain their autonomy and independence. We all make really stupid mistakes sometimes. Some people just need to be shown multiple times how to do something (especially me.) Don't get yourself too down. Have you tried to look at school nursing, sometimes that's a bit more even paced. Good luck!