Always waiting for the other shoe to drop aka being happy makes one unhappy?

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Is it possible that when something good happens, that instead of enjoying it and being able to be happy and see all the great things that will accompany the new situation, a person sees only the negative or searches for the negative?

I know someone who has the mind set of "waiting for the other shoe to drop" and given their life circumstances, I do understand but he cannot enjoy the good because he is always waiting for the other side of the coin - the bad - to show up. If he does, this reinforces his being comfortable only with the bad and uncomfortable with the good. If the bad doesn't happen he ends up wasting a LOT of time fretting about "what if" - some of it I really think he can't control as far as his thoughts. A doctor we work with suggested a low dose antidepressant or something similar to help him relax this thinking..therapy is not cutting it for him.

So, I wondered, with so many people unhappy, tired, stressed in our culture..is this the norm? Expect the worst and you won't be surprised or disappointed?

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
Expect the worst and you won't be surprised or disappointed?
Unfortunately, this has been my personal outlook for quite some time. I've been let down multiple times in the past, so my defense mechanism is to have low expectations. After all, those who expect nothing will never get disappointed.
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It is possible. I am very much like the nurse you described. I am about to begin a job a lot of nurses would like to have..for a variety of reasons...and I am not at all happy about it. It is going to require more time than I am currently working though it's less days/week. The pay is really good and yet all I think about is how I'm going to manage my personal obligations with my professional ones and what if I don't like this area of nursing..jobs are not easy to find where I live...I could go on but I think the doctor may have a point about something to help - like an antidepressant. I've considered it myself.

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Specializes in CC, MS, ED, Clinical Research.

No, it's not the norm or I should say it shouldn't be. But try not to let his mind set color yours. He should prepare for the worst and that way it won't hurt as bad. Antidepressants take weeks to kick in--how are you feeling?

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Unfortunately, this has been my personal outlook for quite some time. I've been let down multiple times in the past, so my defense mechanism is to have low expectations. After all, those who expect nothing will never get disappointed.

Hope for the best, expect the worse and you'll never be diappointed. But the truth is when bad stuff happens I'm still disappointed:crying2: And I happen to be on antidepressants.....doesn't prevent you from getting disappointed.

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

I have had multiple disappointments over my lifetime, but in due time, I have learned that disappointments only make me sad, so I decided to go to plan B when that happened. Since then, I am a more content person who still experiences disappointments as we all do, but who takes it in stride now, and goes on to something else.

i have a male friend who I go for rides often with. He has one leg, and I am chair bound as well, but we both grew up on farms, and have many similar interests. Our relationship has been a brother sister type. However In the senior complex where I live, several people have created our relationship into an affair. I laugh at that one. He with one leg and I with breathing problems, and both of us being very overweight.

Anyway, I mentioned it to someone who told me that the people who spread the rumor are probably jealous of our relationship because we laugh a lot together, and enjoy talking to one another, and they don't have close family or no family, and are sour on life. That made a lot of sense when I heard it, and I agree. Those people are to be forgiven for their shortcomings and pitied.

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This is quite timely since I have been increasingly stressed with my job and am feeling like I have no joy in life. I work long hours in a very high stress position and just started in June after being unemployed for 2 years. The job is in a great hospital, and the pay is great, but we are all miserable and have nothing positive ever coming from the management. They are quick to micromanage and don't realize how hard we work. We currently are all in a tiny office with phones constantly ringing, us all talking and you can't even hear yourself think! I call it the "Sardine Can" since we are all so packed in. It also just breeds discontent among ourselves and the gossip is terrible! I can't get off when I wish and am missing lots of other life-affirming activities since my hours are so long. I just wish I could quit and run away! So I really understand where this guy is coming from. Misery loves company....

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Specializes in Behavioral Health, Show Biz.

negativity and stress

breed disease

when things go wrong

i give myself a

maxi-dose of self-care

or "pampering."

facials, massages, beauty make-overs, saunas, aromatherapy...

the works!

whatever works!:up:

i don't have time for negativity

or negative people---get rid of them!;)

life is way too short!

"when the going is good, it only gets better."

:twocents:

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Agree. I got written up twice for minor things when I was a newbie nurse still orienting to the hospital and now I am always looking over my shoulder. My patients tell me "you are a awesome nurse," families say "thanks for taking such great care of my mother/father/wife," doctors even say "good job catching this" or "why can't you be the nurse caring for my patient?" But I lose sleep at night wondering if I will get written up bc my hair fell in my face one time while bending over a patient or bc I was late with meds etc I can't relax esp since our sup is write-up happy.

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