Starting to actually like nursing!

Glad my post has helped so many here! Seriously, though, stick with it and at the one year mark, I promise you, things will be so much smoother! Not perfect, but smoother and you will be amazed at how much you've learned and how much you've grown.

And what I've found also is that anytime things have gone really wrong, I will hear, "it's ok -- you're a new nurse." I mean, the bosses and the managers and the more experienced nurses really know that and they just cannot and (if they're any shred of descent human beings) will not expect you to be perfect.

They DO expect you to have a good attitude, to work hard, (not to sit on your butt while your other nurses or your preceptor does all the work), to seek out learning, to CARE and to assume responsibility for your patients. If you lack any of these things, then there could be trouble, I suppose.

But honestly -- I remember that feeling of impossibility -- like I would never do it. (I would search the want ads a lot after those shifts).

I think I had my fair share of actual anxiety attacks on the floor also -- I remember feeling paralyzed when I didn't know something and my preceptor woudl be watching ...accckk -- but somehow, even I got over it and you will too.

Night shift was the best, also, for enabling me to just go slower, practice time management skills without the pressure, and to learn from other nurses. Still love night shift for being able to study the charts and piece it all together.

READ the H&P's on your patients and the doc's notes and understand their plan of care and how you fit into it -- know the pt's labs, and try to understand how each order fits into it all. You will see that you ARE responsible for a lot, but not all of it. The docs really are driving this, but your ASSESSMENT also drives a lot of what they do. Assessment skills are KEY. Of course, any good doc will come and do their own assessment if things are going badly, but not always.