Hi all, I've been lurking in the shadows and this is my first post after much observation and effort at getting establishment in the profession. Thanks to all those who are more experienced that have shed light and helped others here with things that only experienced CRNAs/SRNAs could...
Anyway, I'm a new grad from a BSN program nearing the end of my 6 month orientation on a 12 bed CVIVU. My goal since prior to entering RN school has been to become a CRNA.
I've done the shadowing, I've thought long and hard about what I want out of life and what I could see myself doing for 40+ yrs, and I've tried to gain as much knowledge about the CRNA profession as possible. I will be a CRNA, and I'm willing to let very few things derail my future.
Up until a month ago I've felt as if everything had been progressing as it should(especially in regards to my orientation), despite being challenged to a greater degree than I had anticipated. I have had my setbacks and sticking points with things(charting, order verificaiton, admit/discharge) here and there, but nothing r/t safety or capability to do "ICU" work. Well aparently some on my unit(manager, unit APN in charge of orientation/education, and 2 unnamed preceptors) felt I'm in no shape to be off orientation and practicing safely on my own. "The brains and heart are there, no doubt, but you're not able to focus yourself suffeciently for safe, autonomous ICU work." Issues were lack of focus/distractability, a lack of developed Crit. Thinking skills, and a general uneasiness with my degree of safety in managing 2 "ICU" level pt's.
This was brought to my attention with only 2.5 weeks left for the scheduled orientation!! Needless to stay my holidays were quite overshadowed with a sick/helpless feeling.:icon_mad:
Today I had a 2.5 week follow up appointment with good progress noted, but not at the level it needs to be. I have till the 31st of Jan. to reign it in. I've never had problems/discipline like this in any of my schooling/externship, so I've taken this as quite a blow.
Providing I DO stay on:
1) How do you imagine something like this so early in my CRNA prep. will effect me getting accepted? In terms of LOR, peer review...
2) What to do if I don't stay hired on? I'd still be a hospital employee qualified for RN work, just not the ICU. Try a different unit for a bit then reapply, apply ICU at another hospital?
3) It was hinted and all but suggested during these meetings that I follow thru with chemical management (ADD meds). This of course was only after I openly suggested that subject in response to the distractibility issue. "Providing you do stay, these issues and unit stimulii aren't going to just disappear you know..."
Any help/advice on this subject would be appreciated. Trying to stay positive here but I can't help but have an awful apprehension for the outcome. Despite all my strengths and zeal I can't seem to show them what they need, even though the rest of orientation has gone well.
And as it is, nearly the entire unit disapproves of newbies trying to go to CRNA school. Including the NM who is vehemently opposed.
I'm not looking for pity/understanding, I'd just like some solid insight as the best route to go from here. Sorry for the length!!