Wow, really feeling the love...thank ya'll!
I know she knows
the complications, but I think she is at that developmental stage where she truly believes it is not going to happen to her. She is a good kid, but rebellious at home (not so much at school, she is never in trouble and for the most part respectful to teachers and myself). Mom has a lot going on also (another special needs child, an older teen, and a relative with two babies living in her home). I think part of the problem is that Mom does not have patience for her antics so she just lets her handle it herself, which obviously is not working.
My next tactic is to offer to be mediator between Mom and Kid and try to talk out exactly what each one needs from the other in order to have this go smoothly. Maybe have them agree what each side will do and sign a contract. If Mom will agree to come down for a meeting
Again, thanks everyone for the support. Now I know I am doing the right thing even if I end up looking like a fool in the process!