Question - page 3

DO not post on facebook admin. I had an situation yesterday, that I was completely unprepared and unsure how to respond to this, especially in my school where Sex Ed is not allowed. I had a... Read More

  1. by   Amethya
    Quote from River Song, RN
    The fact that she confided in you speaks to how the students must feel about you, take heart in that.

    I’m also in Texas and I was told that if I became aware of anyone under the age of 14 having sex, I had to report it to CPS - period- as it is considered child abuse beneath the age of consent.

    I find it so frustrating when schools prevent giving comprehensive sex education. I think promoting abstinence is great but also give them the tools they need to keep themselves safe. The rates of STDs are through the roof among teenagers where I am and I have seen plenty of 14 and 15 moms. I think you did the best you could in the situation.
    Good job!
    I wasn't told this, but I'll ask if that's what we should do because I want to do things right and not get reprimanded later.


    Quote from hppygr8ful
    You need to ask for written policy and procedure on how to handle this type of situation so that you will know how to handle future encounters. I honestly didn't know Texas was so backward as to not offer sex-ed in their schools. I went to private religious schools my whole life and we got this info as human reproduction in biology class.

    I think we can all agree that 13 year olds having sex isn't a good thing but it does happen all the time. Kids need to have someone they can trust to go to.

    Hppy

    Not all schools in Texas do this.

    Our education for sexual things has been like this: 5th grade is puberty talk and high school is Sex Ed, but it can depend on the school or school district it seems.

    My school is just different because, 1) it's a public charter school and 2) the owners are from a different ethic back ground.

    When I was in high school (public school) and still now, the way I mentioned before, was how I was taught. I was in high school when I took my health class and basically they showed about sex ed, and they told us everything, including protection and such. I'm not sure how this school works in that sense, but I wish they taught this in middle school too, but I guess not.
  2. by   brillohead
    Yeah, high school is WAY too late to be teaching sex ed... it needs to be at least TOUCHED on in junior high.

    I was talking with my nieces back in the day, and the fact that I'm adopted came up in the course of the conversation. These girls were about 9yo and 13yo at the time. One asked me why I was given up for adoption, and I gave my standard comment about my birthmother not being married and wanting me to have a better life than she could provide. Next question was, "How did she have a baby if she wasn't married?"

    I was dumbstruck... I knew that my BIL and SIL were REALLY strict and conservative, but these girls went to public school, for crying out loud! They HAD to know kids who had single moms, right????

    (And guess whose first grandchild was conceived and born out of wedlock six years later...)
  3. by   Amethya
    Quote from brillohead
    Yeah, high school is WAY too late to be teaching sex ed... it needs to be at least TOUCHED on in junior high.

    I was talking with my nieces back in the day, and the fact that I'm adopted came up in the course of the conversation. These girls were about 9yo and 13yo at the time. One asked me why I was given up for adoption, and I gave my standard comment about my birthmother not being married and wanting me to have a better life than she could provide. Next question was, "How did she have a baby if she wasn't married?"

    I was dumbstruck... I knew that my BIL and SIL were REALLY strict and conservative, but these girls went to public school, for crying out loud! They HAD to know kids who had single moms, right????

    (And guess whose first grandchild was conceived and born out of wedlock six years later...)
    I have told this story a lot of times in this forum but:

    My sister-in-law died 5 years ago to illness, and while pregnant 3 months. I been taking care of my niece and nephew for this past years and I told them that they can talk to me about ANYTHING and I will not get mad. Their mother and father had children young, my brother has a lot of baby mamas since he was 18 years old and their mother had her first child at 15. I told them if they have kids early or w.e, I will not get mad, but to talk to me and my mother, because we're the most chill ones in the family compared to their grandfather and not give horrible advice like their father.

    So my plan is once my niece is in middle school, I will explain to her about safe sex and such because I don't want her to do the wrong choice. Sure I won't be thrilled if she loses her virginity young, but I rather her practice safe sex than be like her mother and have children early and not pressured by others to have sex. Same with my nephew, once he's there too, I'll explain to him that he should ALWAYS use protection for himself and the girl and to please not pressure a girl to have sex or do it unprotected, I rather him be a father at the right time when he's mature enough to care for a baby.
  4. by   Farawyn
    Don't forget Gardisil! Girls and boys!
  5. by   Amethya
    Quote from Farawyn
    Don't forget Gardisil! Girls and boys!
    Man, I'm sorry sounding ignorant, but do you have to request this shot? I know it's not a scheduled immunization for schools in Texas, but what age?
  6. by   Farawyn
    Quote from Amethya
    Man, I'm sorry sounding ignorant, but do you have to request this shot? I know it's not a scheduled immunization for schools in Texas, but what age?
    You do have to request, and it is a series of 3. I think...age 11 to 26???
  7. by   BSNRNHS
    I'd tell my admin that it is not healthy, physically or mentally, to be having sex at 13. In order to promote her wellness, and because she is too young to consent, I would want to prevent this from happening again. If a 13 year old came and told me she had sex willingly, I would affirm her for trusting me and choose the most loving words I could think of to say "STOP THAT BEHAVIOR". I think what I would actually say is "oh wow, are you ready to be a mom? Oh, no, you're not? Then don't have sex, because that it was it is for dear girl"

    The admin's could deal with that--my conscience would be clear.
  8. by   Amethya
    Well my admin sent me an email about the situation:


    1) We were just told to contact parents, by our superiors, not CPS

    2) as a mandated reporter, I don't need admin's approval to contact them, but if I need to contact them I need to provide a copy of the report or case # for student's record.

    3) Regarding the student, I am not a counselor, friend, or confidant, I should just listen and avoid giving advice like I did as my words can be constructed and interpreted incorrectly.

    4) I should inform admin immediately via phone or text to ensure the safety of our students.

    I understand, 3, but I can't help that the students are coming to me about problems and expect advice. I'll just listen and tell them to talk to their parents or our Dean of Students, but these kids are coming to me for a reason, and I'm not sure how to stop it.
  9. by   WineRN
    Quote from Amethya
    I understand, 3, but I can't help that the students are coming to me about problems and expect advice. I'll just listen and tell them to talk to their parents or our Dean of Students, but these kids are coming to me for a reason, and I'm not sure how to stop it.
    Your Admin may not get that you have a different relationship with students than other staff. The health office is a safe place, and if they have seen you a few times and feel comfortable with you, of course they are going to tell you things.
  10. by   Farawyn
    Quote from Amethya
    Well my admin sent me an email about the situation:


    1) We were just told to contact parents, by our superiors, not CPS

    2) as a mandated reporter, I don't need admin's approval to contact them, but if I need to contact them I need to provide a copy of the report or case # for student's record.

    3) Regarding the student, I am not a counselor, friend, or confidant, I should just listen and avoid giving advice like I did as my words can be constructed and interpreted incorrectly.

    4) I should inform admin immediately via phone or text to ensure the safety of our students.

    I understand, 3, but I can't help that the students are coming to me about problems and expect advice. I'll just listen and tell them to talk to their parents or our Dean of Students, but these kids are coming to me for a reason, and I'm not sure how to stop it.
    Quote from WineRN
    Your Admin may not get that you have a different relationship with students than other staff. The health office is a safe place, and if they have seen you a few times and feel comfortable with you, of course they are going to tell you things.
    This.

    Until they get a counselor, the kids are going to come to YOU.

    What a disservice to the children.
  11. by   Amethya
    Quote from Farawyn
    This.

    Until they get a counselor, the kids are going to come to YOU.

    What a disservice to the children.
    I know, but as I said the last time, we have a counselor but she comes sometimes for students and our DoS is kinda like a counselor but I feel the same way. I don't think she understands she's kinda like an authority figure and I'm not, If you have an issue and you're 11-13 years old, who are going to go to who won't report back to your parents if you mess up?

    Lately I had this girl who has been telling about this girl giving her issues, but I keep telling her to see our DoS, but she refuses and I can't do anything much except listen to her. I give her some advice, but she still is having issues.

    I honestly can't help that these kids trust me.
  12. by   Farawyn
    Quote from Amethya
    I know, but as I said the last time, we have a counselor but she comes sometimes for students and our DoS is kinda like a counselor but I feel the same way. I don't think she understands she's kinda like an authority figure and I'm not, If you have an issue and you're 11-13 years old, who are going to go to who won't report back to your parents if you mess up?

    Lately I had this girl who has been telling about this girl giving her issues, but I keep telling her to see our DoS, but she refuses and I can't do anything much except listen to her. I give her some advice, but she still is having issues.

    I honestly can't help that these kids trust me.
    Its a good thing.
  13. by   SullyRN
    Quote from Amethya
    Well my admin sent me an email about the situation:


    1) We were just told to contact parents, by our superiors, not CPS

    2) as a mandated reporter, I don't need admin's approval to contact them, but if I need to contact them I need to provide a copy of the report or case # for student's record.

    4) I should inform admin immediately via phone or text to ensure the safety of our students.
    So you are told not to contact CPS, but your admins need to be contacted for the safety of the student. Nope. Sorry admin's, but you aren't really on a need to know basis about the sexual health of the students if you don't want CPS contacted. Parents, yes. CPS, probably. I just don't like that they want you to tell thembut not CPS.Maybe I'm just grouchy at admins.

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