Question - page 2

DO not post on facebook admin. I had an situation yesterday, that I was completely unprepared and unsure how to respond to this, especially in my school where Sex Ed is not allowed. I had a... Read More

  1. by   OldDude
    Quote from AdobeRN
    This is one of the reasons why I am nurse at the elementary level - uggg what a tough situation to be in. Parents are so uptight these days (at least in my area) that I feel I need to be careful about how much info I give to any of my 4th/5th grade girls when they have period questions.
    For sure for sure! Although I'm sure you get more "questions" than I do - thank goodness.
  2. by   Amethya
    Quote from BethG73
    Why do they not want you in there? I'd want to be there to defend my words, if necessary.
    I'm guessing because of the child's trust in me and I honestly don't want to confront her in this issue because she will be very angry toward me.
  3. by   Farawyn
    Quote from Amethya
    I'm guessing because of the child's trust in me and I honestly don't want to confront her in this issue because she will be very angry toward me.
    Wait...why is she angry? You did the right thing!!!

    13 year olds get angry all the time. In a few years she might thank you. If I was her parent I sure would.
    As the person she reported to and confided in, I would want to be there!
    Please try.
  4. by   WineRN
    Quote from Farawyn
    Wait...why is she angry? You did the right thing!!!

    13 year olds get angry all the time. In a few years she might thank you. If I was her parent I sure would.
    As the person she reported to and confided in, I would want to be there!
    Please try.
    Don't worry about the little ones anger. Sometimes what we want and what we need are two different things. She needs more help than you can give and you did the right thing.

    I do NOT think your job is at risk over this. You did communicate with the people you needed to, and you may have said somethings in the middle of the moment that your state/school district wouldn't approve of, but I am sure her parent is grateful that your response was what it was. Your words came from a place of kindness and caring.
  5. by   Amethya
    Apparently they already had the meeting. And it went well, but that's all it was said to me.


    And I if another student comes in with something like this, I need to notify admin after the child leaves. Apparently depending on the issue, we will either contact their parents and/or central office to report.

    But as what to tell the student, I'm not really sure what to say in that situation so I won't get in trouble.
    Last edit by Amethya on Sep 28
  6. by   Farawyn
    Quote from Amethya
    Apparently they already had the meeting.
    Okay.

    Take a deep breath.

    Ask for an update.

    Then come tell us.
  7. by   Amethya
    Quote from Farawyn
    Okay.

    Take a deep breath.

    Ask for an update.

    Then come tell us.

    lol. They just told me it went well, that's it. Nothing more.
  8. by   annabanana2
    Quote from Farawyn
    Wait...why is she angry? You did the right thing!!!

    13 year olds get angry all the time. In a few years she might thank you. If I was her parent I sure would.
    As the person she reported to and confided in, I would want to be there!
    Please try.
    I mean, you guys gotta do what you legally gotta do. I get it. Report, have meetings, whatever. But jeez, is that ever the best way possible to ensure nobody ever comes to talk to the school nurse about sex ever again!
  9. by   brillohead
    Telling a child to "be careful" is NOT sex education in any way, shape, or form, IMO, and you shouldn't have to worry about that coming back to bite you now or in the future.

    The phrase itself is simply a warning to take care in what one does. The TYPE of care is entirely up to the individual... it could be condoms / birth control pills / diaphragm, or it could be abstinence, or it could be oral/manual performance instead.

    If you encounter this situation in the future, I would have no qualms telling a child that he/she only has one body, and it's vital that they be careful in what they choose to do with their body, and that as an adult with healthcare training, you are recommending that they talk to their doctor/PA/NP as soon as possible to keep themselves safe.

    Not any different than if someone takes up skateboarding... you'd want them to go to a professional who can direct them in obtaining the proper padding and helmet to keep themselves safe. You're not likely a skateboarding expert yourself, but you know enough to tell them to talk to an expert in the field.
  10. by   Amethya
    Quote from annabanana2
    I mean, you guys gotta do what you legally gotta do. I get it. Report, have meetings, whatever. But jeez, is that ever the best way possible to ensure nobody ever comes to talk to the school nurse about sex ever again!
    The thing is I don't mind talking to them about sex, but the problem is because of how conservative my school is, I can't educate them properly on anything.

    I was just told that if I have this issue again, I just need to let the admin know and that's it, but as what to tell them? I'm not sure, because it's not my kid. If it was my kids, I would be up front about it and tell it like it is, but because she isn't, I can't go and tell her to use protection or anything that sounds like I'm condoning the behavior, and that's what I was told.
  11. by   annabanana2
    Quote from Amethya
    The thing is I don't mind talking to them about sex, but the problem is because of how conservative my school is, I can't educate them properly on anything.

    I was just told that if I have this issue again, I just need to let the admin know and that's it, but as what to tell them? I'm not sure, because it's not my kid. If it was my kids, I would be up front about it and tell it like it is, but because she isn't, I can't go and tell her to use protection or anything that sounds like I'm condoning the behavior, and that's what I was told.
    I hear you. That sounds completely frustrating. That would be an incredible ethical problem for me.
  12. by   River Song, RN
    The fact that she confided in you speaks to how the students must feel about you, take heart in that.

    I’m also in Texas and I was told that if I became aware of anyone under the age of 14 having sex, I had to report it to CPS - period- as it is considered child abuse beneath the age of consent.

    I find it so frustrating when schools prevent giving comprehensive sex education. I think promoting abstinence is great but also give them the tools they need to keep themselves safe. The rates of STDs are through the roof among teenagers where I am and I have seen plenty of 14 and 15 moms. I think you did the best you could in the situation.
    Good job!
  13. by   hppygr8ful
    Quote from Amethya
    Apparently they already had the meeting. And it went well, but that's all it was said to me.


    And I if another student comes in with something like this, I need to notify admin after the child leaves. Apparently depending on the issue, we will either contact their parents and/or central office to report.

    But as what to tell the student, I'm not really sure what to say in that situation so I won't get in trouble.

    You need to ask for written policy and procedure on how to handle this type of situation so that you will know how to handle future encounters. I honestly didn't know Texas was so backward as to not offer sex-ed in their schools. I went to private religious schools my whole life and we got this info as human reproduction in biology class.

    I think we can all agree that 13 year olds having sex isn't a good thing but it does happen all the time. Kids need to have someone they can trust to go to.

    Hppy

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