Parents that are nurses

Specialties School

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I'm pretty sure all of us have been yelled at by parents numerous times, but yesterday was really hard for me after an incident with a parent. I called a parent who happened to be a nurse. I received a copy of a letter she sent to school and called to see if the student will be taking any meds at school and if so we need a Med Admin Form. The parent had worked a 16 hour shift and I called her in the middle of her rest. I had no idea and I know we are all sympathetic to nurses having to work overtime. Long story short, the parent felt that I was disturbing her and that she does not need a med admin form because she indicated on her Emergency card every year that she has asthma. I tried to explain the Education Laws in my State, but she felt that because she is an experienced nurse (she gave me her whole work history) and she knows I'm a new nurse (she asked how long I've been a nurse) AND I'm a school nurse (with my "cushy job") that I'm wrong. The parent blew up at my really quickly and said some very rude and disrespectful things. I tried to calm her down and explain, but she wasn't hearing it and kept talking over me and saying that I wouldn't "win". I tried to explain that we can just fax the paperwork, but she wasn't having that either. Eventually she hung up.

I understand that I was talking to an exhausted person and maybe she's not like that when she's well rested. I understand her child has asthma and I don't want to take away the inhaler (another issue is that the student has been carrying her inhaler since in the younger grades and no one has ever told the parent the child needed a medication administration form to have an inhaler at school). I just felt really belittled and inexperienced even though I know I was right.

I spoke with Admin and they were very supported toward me and gave me ideas on how to go about the situation by mailing a form home with a copy of the education code. I took myself out for ice cream yesterday to cheer myself up and then had a fantastic date afterwards so I feel better today. :cat:But I'm still anxious about talking with the parent. I was frustrated, but again I know she's stressed and tried and hopefully we can build a better relationship in the future for the sake of the student and safety.

So has anyone else out there had really hard times with parents in the healthcare field? Especially if they do not understand that healthcare in the hospital is different from the school setting.

Specializes in School Nursing, Public Health, Home Care.

I usually start my parent contacts when it's not a "come pick up your child" call with "do you have a minute to speak with me regarding your child's inhaler?" 99% of the time they say yes. If they start to go off on you with a story about long work hours, etc, you can always say, "what would be a better time for me to contact you?" Of course you run the risk of not connecting later, but then you can just send the med sheet and a note explaining it in the mail. Sometimes I chicken out on a phone call when I know there is a severe language barrier and opt for an email, thinking they can take their time to read and understand it. Sometimes people are just rude. Sometimes you just have to say "I'm bound by California law."

coughdrop.2.go, BSN, RN

1 Article; 709 Posts

Specializes in School Nursing, Public Health Nurse.
I usually start my parent contacts when it's not a "come pick up your child" call with "do you have a minute to speak with me regarding your child's inhaler?" 99% of the time they say yes. If they start to go off on you with a story about long work hours, etc, you can always say, "what would be a better time for me to contact you?" Of course you run the risk of not connecting later, but then you can just send the med sheet and a note explaining it in the mail. Sometimes I chicken out on a phone call when I know there is a severe language barrier and opt for an email, thinking they can take their time to read and understand it. Sometimes people are just rude. Sometimes you just have to say "I'm bound by California law."

Thank you so much but when I tried to ask for a better time to reach her she wasn't having it and kept going. I like your suggestion and maybe I'll email her the form with a brief tidbit about the law instead of mailing it. Email would be a better way to document our future communication, aside from Emergencies or urgent matters.

NutmeggeRN, BSN

2 Articles; 4,620 Posts

Specializes in kids.

I love email You can put those cutsie faces in there :yes:!

I would pop off a quick email, apologize for waking her, attached the required docuentation and necessary info. I'm sure she is aware she had her cranky pants on and probably feels bad as it is. Leave the door open for further communication. This way you have dealt with it and moved on and will hopefully get the required paperwork. I would also cc administration so there is no question re the conversation and the expectations of the school district.

Good Luck!

Specializes in School nursing.

Kenderella89, ::hugs::. I agree with NutmeggeRN's advice above.

I have had a few parents that are nurses and a mix of good and bad interactions with them. Some of them are wonderful and understand my position, they are ones with all their paperwork in on time, everything crossed, dotted, etc. Love 'em. But a few...well...those days I consume a lot of ice cream after work. And some wine.

stephaniehowe

30 Posts

Daily occurance for me! But it the end you are doing your job and need to protect your license! Time for them to take off the scrubs and put on their mom jeans! Sometimes when making a difficult call I pep talk myself with what I need to say and my responses if whatever is said. Being nervous is something people always seem to pick up on and will cross lines to make them feel more superior. Always CYA!

She may have a complete about-face after some much needed sleep and this whole thing will be a non-issue. If not....side with her.

She knows, just as well as anyone, that the lawyers get in the way on a regular basis. This release form is one of these times. You understand she knows what is best for her child and you agree with her that the inhaler is necessary and that the release seems like a bit of overkill. You aren't trying to take anything away from her child, but you need one little piece of paper in the child's file to keep the lawyers happy. This isn't a nurse vs nurse situation but rather, a lawyer vs sue-happy-society issue.

I agree with the email (or sending a copy home with the child). Parent can sign at home and send back with the child. Easy.

systoly

1,756 Posts

Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.

I've been a nurse for over 20 years, but have 0 experience or

training as a school nurse so telling you that you don't know what you're doing

seems absurd to me.

Being tired can make you grumpy, but if it leads to inappropriate behavior one

shouldn't sign up for doubles.

I worked night shift for several years and am no stranger to the phone ringing

in the middle of "my" night, however, that is not the caller's fault, but rather part

of that lifestyle.

my approach to this kind of situation is matter of fact

don't dwell on the past contact, it's hx

just explain that you need xyz form

those are the rules

rather than copying the rules, i'd say, "the regulations are available at ....com"

if the parent harps on being inconvenienced again, explain that you will certainly

observe any preferred contact hours as soon as they are provided in writing

if the parent is rude again, say so

there is nothing wrong with saying, "you are inappropriate and that is not good

use of your or my time"

alternatively, have more ice cream and another great date (yeah, just let her be rude

and take the date :) )

coughdrop.2.go, BSN, RN

1 Article; 709 Posts

Specializes in School Nursing, Public Health Nurse.

Thanks everyone! I love this website and the advice and support all the nurses give. You guys pretty much made my week :D

iluvgusgus

150 Posts

Im sorry that she made you feel that way, as another nurse and another human, no matter if shes tired, stressed or not, she shouldnt disrespect you and belittle you in that way. Don't take it personally she most likely treats most people that way.

nurseinsa

6 Posts

Great advice from above nurses. Don't take it personally.

I wonder if you would have felt "belittled" in that way if the yelling parent was of a different profession? Or was it worse because you doubt you own 'nurseyness'?

Well doubt no more, because you are a real nurse :)

See, you're just like the rest of us - getting yelled at by our clients, but having to complete our tasks anyway ;)

Kyrshamarks, BSN, RN

1 Article; 631 Posts

I love email You can put those cutsie faces in there :yes:!

Personaly if you sent me an email with those cutsie faces in it, I would delete it without even reading it. Most people get annoyed with those things and really want just the info needed.

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