Bullies

  1. School: Boy, 8, Who Killed Himself Never Said He Was Bullied | NBC Chicago

    Just read this article and it breaks my heart in a million pieces. I know that bullies have always existed, but somehow it seems worse now a days. Curious what other nurses, especially school nurses, think.
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  2. 46 Comments

  3. by   LovingLife123
    How does an 8 year old know how to commit suicide or what the heck the consequences of doing that are? Where are the parents?
  4. by   ~Mi Vida Loca~RN
    I think bullying is worse in the sense that there is a lot more avenues to bully that are permanent. It used to be you got bullied at school, maybe the person moved on, maybe they didn't but it was mostly kept at specific times. Now you have the internet and social media to bully people and it will always be there. I think that in itself makes it so much worse.

    As far as the 8 year old it was terrible, from what I had read the parents tried multiple times to get the school involved and was brushed off. From my understanding until the release of a tape the school tried to say the child fell and wasn't beat up. They don't state how the kid committed suicide, but 8 year olds can be pretty dang smart and I don't think I will jump on the bandwagon to automatically blame the parents.
  5. by   pixierose
    Quote from LovingLife123
    How does an 8 year old know how to commit suicide or what the heck the consequences of doing that are? Where are the parents?
    No. We are not jumping on the bandwagon of blaming the parents.

    Sadly, the choice of suicide - and executing it - can happen in the blink of an eye.

    It can happen to almost anyone.

    I can't even imagine what was going on in this poor child's head. The fact that he was suffering from a head injury I'm sure didn't help. The pain and suffering to decide that death was the only way out ...

    My heart bleeds for his family.
  6. by   xoemmylouox
    I'm heartbroken for the family and for that kid. In most places bullying is not addressed. Schools refuse to intervene or cover up blatant occurrences. Police departments can't or won't step in either. Parents have little they can do. All I can say is if my kids start school and get harassed I'll be marching up to those rotten kids and addressing it myself. Now, there is a difference between "teasing" and all out torture. I don't want my kids to be snowflakes, but the crap that goes on is inexcusable. If going to the school, police, parents, or kids doesn't cut it - we will transfer.
  7. by   SmilingBluEyes
    I was bullied mercilessly from 6th to 8th grades and considered suicide myself many times. I honestly don't know what got me through it all. My parents never knew how I felt because when I tried to tell them, they told me it was my fault for not being able to make friends. I felt like I had no one on my side. Even my teachers were mean to me. I was chronically sick and depressed, often with horrible stomach problems and diarrhea/vomiting, I was so upset. I missed half my school year in 6th grade, too sick to go to school. It was an awful time; I was so lonely and sad.

    I was hypersensitive when I was a parent as a result, and I watched my own kids for signs of them being bullied but they never were. They were more confident and able to make friends than I ever was. My daughter's school was unique and had a really nice program to tackle bullying head-on. She was in a group of kids selected to sit with younger kids who had no friends, at lunch. It was a wonderful program cause these kids were suddenly "cool", as the "big" 8th grader was eating with the lonely 3rd, 4th or 5th grader. They also hung out with them at recess, further cementing a relationship that lasted for years and benefitted both the lonely child and the one helping him/her. It boosted the younger child's confidence and the bullying stopped.

    Schools and teachers need to step up and do more about bullying. You can't tell me, for one minute, teachers don't know who is being picked on or bullied and they need to stop it. Bullying has horrible consequences. Suicide being but one. Another extreme being the kid(s) going to school and killing classmates. Bullied kids grow up to be nervous adults with no confidence in themselves and those feelings last a lifetime, often stunting potential.

    It's never ok to bully, harass or pick on anyone for any reason. Parents need to be accountable, too. If their kids are incorrigible, then they should be removed from the school and sent to an alternative school or homeschooled. They have no right to be there, hurting others. It's often the other way around, however. It's the bullied ones who end up being pulled out of school, which is the opposite of what should happen. It sends the wrong message that the bully always wins and can chase others out when he or she chooses to do so. The victim should not be re-victimized by being stigmatized or removed.

    The child bullies often go on to be adult bullies and raise the next generation of bullies and on it goes. It has to be stopped.
    Last edit by SmilingBluEyes on May 13
  8. by   Zyprexa
    That 8 year old child was more than bullied, he was assaulted by other children, who continued to beat him even after he was unconscious, and the school covered it up. Obviously this must have been going on for some time, and I doubt this was the first time. I don't know all the details but I wonder if he went to his parents or a trusted adult to tell them what was going on. There must be more to this story that we don't know. I wonder if he was being abused in other ways as well. As for an 8 year old child knowing how to commit suicide, unfortunately anything can be googled. There are websites specifically showing people how to commit suicide, going step by step. I read somewhere that he hung himself from his bunk bed using a necktie

    I almost cried when I read this story initially, and I don't cry easily. My heart breaks for the child and his poor parents.
  9. by   LovingLife123
    Quote from pixierose
    No. We are not jumping on the bandwagon of blaming the parents.

    Sadly, the choice of suicide - and executing it - can happen in the blink of an eye.

    It can happen to almost anyone.

    I can't even imagine what was going on in this poor child's head. The fact that he was suffering from a head injury I'm sure didn't help. The pain and suffering to decide that death was the only way out ...

    My heart bleeds for his family.

    I'm not blaming the parents. I'm asking where this was learned. An 8 year old should not be on social media.

    Where did I blame the parents may I ask? You people certainly infer a lot on this site I noticed.
  10. by   LovingLife123
    Quote from ~Mi Vida Loca~RN
    I think bullying is worse in the sense that there is a lot more avenues to bully that are permanent. It used to be you got bullied at school, maybe the person moved on, maybe they didn't but it was mostly kept at specific times. Now you have the internet and social media to bully people and it will always be there. I think that in itself makes it so much worse.

    As far as the 8 year old it was terrible, from what I had read the parents tried multiple times to get the school involved and was brushed off. From my understanding until the release of a tape the school tried to say the child fell and wasn't beat up. They don't state how the kid committed suicide, but 8 year olds can be pretty dang smart and I don't think I will jump on the bandwagon to automatically blame the parents.
    I did not blame the parents. The article states he hung himself with a neck tie. I was wondering where am 8 year old gets ideas to commit suicide as they cannot possibly grasp what that means.
  11. by   pixierose
    Quote from LovingLife123
    I'm not blaming the parents. I'm asking where this was learned. An 8 year old should not be on social media.

    Where did I blame the parents may I ask? You people certainly infer a lot on this site I noticed.
    I "inferred" because you asked. To me, it appears to place some blame as in, "where are the parents, (insert 'why weren't they watching him properly')"? I never mentioned anything about social media.

    It's amazing how resourceful 8-year-olds can be. It's frightening how resourceful a DESPERATE 8-year-old can be.

    A child at such an age might not fully grasp the finality of such an act, yes. In that I am in agreement. In fact, a lot of older adults that I work with now state that their last thought as they took that overdose or jumped off that bridge (psych nurse) was that, "I wish I didn't just do that." It's immediate regret. But a child so young? He didn't stand a chance to survive a suicide attempt.

    Mental anguish can make someone do desperate things.
  12. by   ~Mi Vida Loca~RN
    Quote from LovingLife123
    I did not blame the parents. The article states he hung himself with a neck tie. I was wondering where am 8 year old gets ideas to commit suicide as they cannot possibly grasp what that means.
    Did I quote your post with my comment??? No I don't believe I did. I read this story a few days ago, when I read it originally they had not released how the child committed suicide. 8 year olds can grasp what suicide means. A lot of times they can't grasp that death is forever. They are in a cusp at this age where they might still think death is reversible, but they are also very curious about death. Children around this age also tend to view things as their fault. Kids must be picking on them because they are bad. They might not want to tell their parents because they are worried and fear they will be upset or that if they tell and mom gets upset or cries that it's their fault. Many many factors.

    My comment about not jumping on the parent bandwagon was a general statement. Just about every debate and discussion I have seen regarding this case, just like many things on he internet, is always the "well where were the parents" Unless I quote YOU and tell YOU that you shouldn't blame the parents. Don't infer that I am talking about you. Which it's funny you would use that word along with "you people".
  13. by   Julius Seizure
    Quote from ~Mi Vida Loca~RN
    I think bullying is worse in the sense that there is a lot more avenues to bully that are permanent. It used to be you got bullied at school, maybe the person moved on, maybe they didn't but it was mostly kept at specific times. Now you have the internet and social media to bully people and it will always be there. I think that in itself makes it so much worse.
    I agree. I don't know if this particular child had much (or any) exposure to social media, but I do think that is one factor that has changed from past generations. Before, you could go home and be away from the bullying. Now, with social media, the bullying can follow you home and even be in your pocket on your cell phone or tablet no matter where you are. As adults, it is easy to reason, "then just delete your social media account or don't look at it". But these are kids, their reasoning capacity is still in developing. To them, it may feel like there is no escape from the bullying and never will be.

    On another point that I've seen mentioned...an 8 year old is about 3rd grade, correct? I certainly knew what suicide was as a 3rd grader. While I didn't contemplate doing it, I could have told you ways that people could commit suicide. One might see it on TV, read it in a book, hear adults or older siblings talking, etc. A kid doesn't have to be on social media to know these things.
  14. by   hppygr8ful
    I haven't read through this whole thread so forgive me if I repeat something someone else has said. I am currently a charge RN on an child/adolescent inpatient psych unit and I can tell you that suicidality among our young people is pervasive. We get so many that I am no longer surprised when we get a new patient with this ideation. It spans all socioeconomic groups and races. The reasons are everything from being physically or sexually abused at home, bullying at home or school or getting a B on an AP History exam. Some kids feel suicidal and have no idea why they feel that way.

    When it comes to bullying I can tell you that even if they have a 0 TOLERANCE policy towards bullying, school administrations do nothing about bullying. MY own son was bullied in 4th and 5th grade to the point that I went to the school principal only to be told that the "Bully" in question had emotional problems and we should all try to be more understanding and since this was a private Christian school "Say a prayer for him and his family. After numerous discussions with this principal I enrolled my son in martial arts and after consulting with the police department informed the school that my son had my permission to defend himself if this other boy put hands on him again. As it would happen This other boy's behavior escalated to the point where he attacked another boy with a pair of scissors when my son intervened this boy picked up a brick and went after my son who used his martial arts training to disarm his attacker and put him on the ground in an arm bar until a playground monitor arrived to ""Break-up" the fight. My son was suspended for fighting and the other boy was not because of his "Emotional problems". We changed schools shortly after that incident.

    The other thing that surprises me and I noted this on the Psychiatric Nurses forum is how clueless most of these kids parents are. They push for discharge from a mental health facility immediately after the 72 hour hold (5585/California) is expired. It doesn't matter that the child just recently tried to kill themselves "They seem fine now." It boggles my mind. These parents have no clue what their kids are doing or feeling, who their friends are, what they are doing on the internet etc.... So yes I do believe parents carry some of the blame in these situations. Oftentimes it is s friend who alerts someone that a friend is in trouble. Parents tend to ignore all the warning signs and keep their blinders on tight. I don't know what role school nurses may have in educating families and kids on maintaining a healthy emotional balance but I suspect like most nurses they are overworked and underpaid and do the best they can under the circumstances.

    When my son was in 6th grade at a new school he was showing some signs of depression. I took him to his doctor and we three talked. The doctor suggested that we take him off an allergy medicine he had been taking for years which had recently been connected to suicidality in adolescents. I don't believe my son was suicidal but why take the chance. I took him off the drug and his sleep and mood improved rapidly. Yes we had to deal with allergy symptoms but the pay-off was worth it.

    I guess this ends my rant. Like I said I didn't read all the post so apologize if I repeated others thoughts or opinions.

    Hppy

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