Quote from donnacee
MinnieMom: good pick up with the hyperactivity bowel sounds...need to remember that one! The vicks on the eye lids..good one, but some knuckle head will NO DOUBT rub his eye real good and get the vicks in his eye. He will go home but probably straight to ER when I tell his parents what he did.
Vomiting in bathroom, never ever wokrs, even if you brought a friend. i told one kid that the custodian has a special cleaner that cleans toilets and sinks for vomit and if vomit was present , the cleaner turns bright blue. Quickly they back pedal and say , well I kind of just spit in the garbage can. THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, RETURN TO CLASS MY FRIEND.
Oh, I am going to use that one! Turns the toilet blue--HAHA!
I used to work in a middle school and those kids were masters at faking illness. I admit, they sucked me in at first, but once I got over the honeymoon stage they had a much harder time faking it. For instance, red eyes--I had a couple kids try to make their eyes red by putting hot sauce in their eyes. Owww! Yeah, their eyes got red and watery, but you could smell the hot sauce at 40 paces...idiots... A few of them tried liquid soap in the eyes, too. The antibacterial scent gave them away.
I had numerous kids try drinking hot water to raise their temps. I never had one who could hold hot water in their mouths for more than a few seconds. I think the highest fake temp they ever managed was about 99.8. Ho hum...
I work in an elementary school now, and sometimes the kids will try to put one over on me. They find out pretty quick that I don't call parents unless there is legitimate illness or injury. My clinic is a no whining zone. If you have a stomachache,you get a cupful of my "special clinic water"(ice water) and 2 crackers and you are required to consume them both. If that doesn't produce vomiting after 15 min, back to class you go! Headache? ice pack to the forehead. If you arent running fever, you can go back to class unless I know you have a history of headaches. That will buy you about 15 min on my cot.
I'm a pretty good judge of illness and my BS meter is extremely accurate. Nothing much gets by me. I don't call parents often, unless their is documentable illness. None of this "I don't feel good stuff." I have a few wanna-be frequent flyers of course, but I've got their number.