I am about ready to throw in towel for nursing job

I have reached a point where I am now depressed. I have been trying to return to nursing since Feb after a four year hiatus. I have chronic illness, but I am stabilized on meds and need plenty of rest. I am feeling as nobody wants me. I have re-activated licenses in two states. My limitations are that I can only work PT, as I stated I need to give my body some ample down time. Twice in my past I have gone into exacerbation mode because I worked my way into FT; then FT with OT.

I spent money on interview CDs to study on how to have a great interview. I have gone back and reviewed my interviews and realize the mistakes that I have made. Honestly, every job I applied for I had very mixed feelings about. I am sure that my enthusiasm was not showing, simply because there was none.

My disability insurance company is going to cut me off because I have claimed that I was improved and ready to go back to work. However, I have not found anything, and it has been six months. They do not care if I can't find anything.

My only background in nursing is behavioral health. I looked into refresher courses and the only one in area is 83 miles from me. That is too long of a haul for me to commute. I checked out one online, but this course is not even recognized for approval by any one of my SBON.

I am ready to go back to my former employment(psych hospital) and ask if they would re-hire me back. My family is very unsupportive of this, saying that I will be working too much because I am pushover when it comes to saying NO.

My sister is trying to convince me to apply for this position in a neurologist's office, but it's FT. She says that I would have an excellent chance of getting it, if I used her name. She believes that PT in my former job would be worse than FT job in drs. office.

I am either going to call back my former DON and see if they will have me back. I left on good terms. And, my other alternative is to just forget about nursing altogether. I think it is time that I think about some training in another field, but I better hurry up as I am already 51.