You know you're a rehab nurse when:

Very clever!

Used to carry dog treats in my pocket for one Sheltie that used to come in and visit "dad".

Ever wonder why in most places a shower is good if the poatient is back in their room in 15-20 minutes.....in rehab we have to ask what is wrong....

You know you are a rehab nurse when, even at home you remind your family how to properly go from a sitting to a standing position.

1) You tell your own family members to tuck their chin when swallowing.
2) You tell a pts family that since they are now pulling at their tubes and swearing as opposed to lethargic and silently cooperative it is a good thing (usually anyway).
3) You are anal about bowel and bladders.
4) You make your aides check alarms before they go home, and then you do it too.
5) For pts on one to one supervision, tell the aide to set the alarm too, cuz you never know. (some aides have fallen asleep and the pts can fall) and they look at you like you have two heads. Later You ream (ok I dont ream them-just firmly remind) the one to one for leaving your pt to go to pt next door on an alarm who is getting out of bed. (hellooo how is this going to look in court? "So you left the mandated 1:1 to help the one on an alarm-when other aides were coming to help him?") I get frustrated having to explain this to them time and again. But it is my license. I don't get riled up too often but geez pp.
6) You make SURE to ask pt what they want their pills crushed in before crushing them. (I hate vanilla pudding, dont you have chocolate?)
7) EVERY night you have to tell the same pt why they have to sit up for 30minutes after dinner, and you aren't surprised -or angry- when they call after 5 min to lay down.
8) You have to tell that same pts family EVERY night why the pt who is on nectar and modified they cannot have chewing gum or peanuts.
9) You have to be prepared for that look on the pts face the first time they drink something with honey consistency.
10) When you lay your pt down at night, or remove their TEDs you KNOW you will hear that AHHHHHHHH coming from them.

1. You own a gait belt. (My sister has CP, so I had one before I became a rehab nurse.)

2. You know what magic bullets are, and they are not antibiotics or golden.

3. You worry if BMs are golden (can you say C diff?). Also, you worry if someone can't remember the last one (see #2).

4. Your pts give you that "not again" look everytime you tell them they have a "belly shot" (see heparin or Lovenox).

5. Your patients cheer on discharge when you tell them #4 has been discontinued at home.

6. Every conversation with a new patient starts with "don't get up without calling us for help first."

7. Being male does get you some points...at least one on our fall score, anyway.

8. You battle PUs on a daily basis with your WOCN nurse...and usually win.

9. You know what meds taste better in applesauce.

10. Your patients come back to see you whenever they see their physiatrist or other doc in the building and you see how far they've come.

When you have to have an extra pillow to float your heels.

You hear call lights and/or bed alarms when you're falling asleep.

You start to tell people at the gym not to round their backs when picking up weights.

You warn people of the risk of DVT when crossing their legs.

You call in on your days off to make sure the staff knows how to give your favorite patients (meds, bath, pillows for positioning) fill in the blank.....

You know to put the gait belt up high on those with gtubes,
You know to keep the HOB up 30degrees for said tube feedings
You know to have the suction in rooms on admission for those on seizure precautions, trachs, well heck ANY rehab pt....
You know that what you say to the non responsive or non verbal pt may come back to you when they start talking in the next few weeks so always be careful and professional---cuz they KNOW what you are saying....
You know to get them on DVT protocol, call in those INRs, Get the SCDs on in bed, for PICCS get the order for Cathflo BEFORE it is needed,
YOU ALWAYS Expect the Unexpected, Always be Prepared, Never EVER Assume ANYTHING!!! Be Paranoid about fall precautions, Never trust family to call to turn alarms back on, Keep pts necessities in reach---or they WILL try to get them when they are across the room, (and fall), The alarms in your head go off whenever a pt states they have pain in their lower leg (DVT?), they state they feel 'funky' (CVA?) or they start vomiting profusely and projectile (re bleed?)
i am sure there is more
You try to get new hires to be as paranoid about falls, DVTs, ulcers, alarms as you are and worry when they don't.....

You dont mind when pts call you and the aide stupid, paranoid, crazy, overprotective and mean -when you insist they use their gaitbelt, "well the day shift doesn't make me...." Well they are supposed to, and no one transfers the same at night as they do during the day...And you secretly smile when they thank you for catching them when they stumble because they DIDN'T fall --BECAUSE you were on your toes being 'stupid, paranoid, crazy, overprotective about them falling....'