Convincing a male to wear a condom?

  1. 0 Hi,

    I am being sincere with my question. I think most people on AN know that one of my interests is public health. I think it is wonderful to have the knowledge of how to prevent STIs and pregnancy using a condom, how to put it on, etc. But, one thing I have noticed from my nursing education (no nursing experience yet) and from personal experience, is that convincing a guy to wear a condom is not easy. Therefore, all that education/knowledge and giving people condoms to prevent STIs and pregnancy goes out the window.

    When I asked a public health nurse how to get guys to wear one, it was just tell them you won't have sex with them unless they do. I think sometimes that can be dangerous, especially if the guy is big and the girl is petite and can't fend him off.

    Is there anything else that a woman can tell a guy that he would willingly agree to wear a condom? It would be nice to have suggestions for women (or men) if I ever get a public health nurse job or any nursing job that a client may ask the same question that I asked.
  2. Visit  wish_me_luck profile page

    About wish_me_luck

    From 'Virginia, USA'; Joined Sep '11; Posts: 1,281; Likes: 1,245.

    37 Comments so far...

  3. Visit  Fiona59 profile page
    15
    Quote from wish_me_luck
    Hi,



    When I asked a public health nurse how to get guys to wear one, it was just tell them you won't have sex with them unless they do. I think sometimes that can be dangerous, especially if the guy is big and the girl is petite and can't fend him off.

    Is there anything else that a woman can tell a guy that he would willingly agree to wear a condom?
    This concerns me. If you fear for your safety, you shouldn't be in a situation where you fear saying "No rubber, no lovin".

    I've worked with sex trade workers who would come in and pick up handfuls of free condoms. One woman told me that the extra cash wasn't worth a death sentence. If a professional can make a paying customer see sense, I think a mature woman in a mutually giving relationship should be able to make her partner see sense.
  4. Visit  Nurse Leigh profile page
    0
    From Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation...... Develop the Next Generation of Condom

    Grand Challenges Explorations Round 11 March 2013

    Opportunity:

    Male condoms are cheap, easy to manufacture, easy to distribute, and available globally, including in resource poor settings, through numerous well developed distribution channels. The current rate of global production is 15 billion units/year with an estimated 750 million users and a steadily growing market. Condoms have almost universal product recognition. There are few places on earth where condoms are not recognized or not available. When used properly, they reliably protect females from pregnancy and both partners from numerous STIs, including HIV transmission, making them a prime example of a multi-purpose prevention technology (MPT). Their use does not require a prescription, a skilled health provider or in fact any healthcare provider or healthcare delivery system. There are no adverse events associated with their use, a statement that cannot be made for any other contraceptive or STI-preventive product. They are user controlled, user applied devices that are simple to use and easily transported. These characteristics make male condoms the perfect MPT product, especially for low resource settings. Article continues @ http://www.grandchallenges.org/Explo...omRound11.aspx. maybe this will help in the not too distant future?
  5. Visit  wish_me_luck profile page
    0
    Fiona, I have been in situations where I was not in a relationship and the guy was a person I just met, went to his house or got into his car (has happened both ways) as a acquaintance, at most a friend, and felt pressured to have sex (intercourse and other). Sometimes, it is not planned nor is it a guy or partner that a person knows right off the bat is not a good person to hang out with. Needless to say, I didn't see those guys again after.

    People (I say people because I think pressure can come from both men and women; women can become pregnant though, so that adds another reason for her to either wear a female condom or her partner to wear one) can convince others to have sex by persuasion, force, or making fun of them.
  6. Visit  runsalot profile page
    9
    Quote from wish_me_luck
    Fiona, I have been in situations where I was not in a relationship and the guy was a person I just met, went to his house or got into his car (has happened both ways) as a acquaintance, at most a friend, and felt pressured to have sex (intercourse and other). Sometimes, it is not planned nor is it a guy or partner that a person knows right off the bat is not a good person to hang out with. Needless to say, I didn't see those guys again after.

    People (I say people because I think pressure can come from both men and women; women can become pregnant though, so that adds another reason for her to either wear a female condom or her partner to wear one) can convince others to have sex by persuasion, force, or making fun of them.
    Personally. If I were giving advise to someone and they felt pressure to have sex I would be talking to them more about how to get a guy to wear a condemn. A person should always have the right to say no. And if you don't feel comfortable saying no that's a whole other bucket of issues.
    labradane, anotherone, wooh, and 6 others like this.
  7. Visit  Altra profile page
    11
    OP, you describe situations of sex via coercion. You seem to imply the possibility of physical force being used with your reference to the potential size/strength disparity between partners. This is rape ... and a rapist in the act of committing a crime is not going to be convinced to use a condom.

    Nurses -- those that practice in public health and those that practice in other settings -- provide a great deal of education on sexuality, safe sex practices. We also educate about healthy relationships, free from physical, emotional and sexual abuse.
    catmom1, psu_213, anotherone, and 8 others like this.
  8. Visit  loriangel14 profile page
    4
    Quote from wish_me_luck
    Fiona, I have been in situations where I was not in a relationship and the guy was a person I just met, went to his house or got into his car (has happened both ways) as a acquaintance, at most a friend, and felt pressured to have sex (intercourse and other). Sometimes, it is not planned nor is it a guy or partner that a person knows right off the bat is not a good person to hang out with. Needless to say, I didn't see those guys again after.



    People (I say people because I think pressure can come from both men and women; women can become pregnant though, so that adds another reason for her to either wear a female condom or her partner to wear one) can convince others to have sex by persuasion, force, or making fun of them.
    Why would you get into a car with or go to the house of someone you barely know?
    Dazglue, Rose_Queen, ajaxgirl, and 1 other like this.
  9. Visit  wish_me_luck profile page
    0
    So, the only thing to tell a client to tell a partner is no condom, no sex? I wish there was something else that a guy would want to wear one.
  10. Visit  Altra profile page
    14
    Quote from wish_me_luck
    So, the only thing to tell a client to tell a partner is no condom, no sex? I wish there was something else that a guy would want to wear one.
    I think you're missing the underlying total lack of concern present in a man's mind ... if the threat of pregnancy, fatherhood and/or sexually transmitted infections AND/OR the expressed desire of his female partner for him to wear a condom isn't enough to "convince" him ... no magic education from a nurse is going to change that.
    Not_A_Hat_Person, psu_213, Kimbsntobe, and 11 others like this.
  11. Visit  Sun0408 profile page
    0
    I can think of several ways but that is just me being me and sinister... I know you want serious answers so I will leave

    Couldn't agree more with Altra's statement..Young people have the mind set of "not me", they think they can do anything and nothing "bad" will happen.
  12. Visit  SwansonRN profile page
    5
    Take them to my unit and show them someone with end stage AIDS. Honestly, though, I think the best approach is educating them on STI/STDs in a way that would make them weary to not wear a condom. Because let's be real, condoms aren't necessarily fun and trying to make them seem cool wouldn't work.
    anotherone, Working2beRN2014, wooh, and 2 others like this.
  13. Visit  Jory profile page
    4
    To me, I don't understand the mentality of these guys...or the women. If a guy doesn't care enough about them to allow them to protect their health, then no self-respecting woman should have sex with them and if it's a deal-breaker, then so be it.

    If I was the girl, I wouldn't care.

    So many guys think that HIV is what they have to worry about (yet few actually know someone with it), so they think the chances are less. HSV is what they really need to worry about...I have lost count of those cases.
    NutmeggeRN, anotherone, Chlometov, and 1 other like this.
  14. Visit  carolinapooh profile page
    7
    Quote from loriangel14
    Why would you get into a car with or go to the house of someone you barely know?
    I've been married for 13 years and went to high school in the late 1980s, but getting into a car with someone I "barely" knew, especially in my 20s, was quite often a date.

    Even now, meeting someone a few times in public doesn't mean you know them.

    And I swear I'm not trying to be contrary. When you go on a first date (and I don't mean meeting the person in a public location - I mean a first in-the-car, go- somewhere-together date), you generally don't know the person.

    Now going to their residence? Oh, heck no!

    And to the OP: if a girl is worried about a 'more powerful', bigger male overpowering her because she says 'no', then she has bigger problems than getting him to wear a condom. MUCH bigger.
    catmom1, anotherone, wooh, and 4 others like this.

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