Convincing a male to wear a condom? - page 4

Hi, I am being sincere with my question. I think most people on AN know that one of my interests is public health. I think it is wonderful to have the knowledge of how to prevent STIs and ... Read More

  1. Visit  wish_me_luck profile page
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    I think coast helped a lot. Maybe figuring the sizing may help (I didn't realize that that could contribute to the issue). I just thought throwing into the education on "how to make the horse drink", so to speak would be just as valuable as "how to lead the horse to water". I'll do that and throw into the mix some pics of STIs and the cost of pregnancy/raising a child.
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  3. Visit  browneyedgirl1122 profile page
    3
    Quote from wish_me_luck

    When I asked a public health nurse how to get guys to wear one, it was just tell them you won't have sex with them unless they do. I think sometimes that can be dangerous, especially if the guy is big and the girl is petite and can't fend him off.
    At this point, rape is occurring not sex.
    What about the female condom? I know they are more money, but if two people want to have sex and the man won't put a condom on, the woman could if she is still willing.
    wooh, Fiona59, and loriangel14 like this.
  4. Visit  wish_me_luck profile page
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    I think I got an answer to my question. My question really didn't pertain to rape and Esme mentioned TOS earlier. Thanks for he responses.

    Health depts in VA do not offer female condoms.
  5. Visit  Esme12 profile page
    4
    Quote from wish_me_luck
    I think I got an answer to my question. My question really didn't pertain to rape and Esme mentioned TOS earlier. Thanks for he responses.

    Health depts in VA do not offer female condoms.
    But we also need to teach our girls to respect their own bodies. To have the self confidence/self esteem and like themselves enough to say NO. In a confident authoritative manner that say very clear that the girl means business. Anytime young girls "give in" and not"feel good" about it or felt they had to because of the guy's physical size and strength is rape and it is a far under reported crime.
    wooh, loriangel14, Fiona59, and 1 other like this.
  6. Visit  laceym profile page
    5
    I love this question! I haven't read all the responses, but I thought I would chime in as a previous Sex Educator working with Sex Trade Workers and young men locked up. A great tool to get is a condom comebacks wheel given out by the Dept of Health in Sacramento, and I am sure you can find it online (available in Spanish too!). Teaching not just women but also men the tips on how to put on a condom in certain ways...such as with the mouth (takes practice) and also not having the person who has to wear it put it on helps tremendously. Giving tips such as adding lube to the inside (not too much or it will slide off) and making sure it is all the way unrolled (sometimes unrolling and lifting it up to continue to unroll completely helps with the whole uncomfy tight condom feeling). It is all about body language and tone of voice when talking about condom use during acts of sex. Every 10 seconds a teenager in this country gets some kind of STI- so kids, stay in school for a few hours to lower your risk The teens really liked doing condom relay races starting from taking a condom from an appropriate storage site (ie altoids box NOT A WALLET) checking the expiration date all the way to adding lubrication on the outside tip....condoms are so important and such an underused resource with ALL AGES!

    But on another note, this post seems to go from safe sex to rape/abuse-which is not really where it usually goes when two people disagree on condom use, just my opinion. Also, sex is a really touchy subject for ALL people and we all need to remember we do not have halos on our heads and be careful on how we respond to people's posts in regards to this subject.
  7. Visit  laceym profile page
    0
    oh by the way, there is a condom wizard site that has this measuring device to make your one of a kind condom-not too bad of a price, but let's face it, not everyone has the ability (intellectually/physically/financially) to use this resource....
  8. Visit  wish_me_luck profile page
    0
    lacey, I love it. I looked online. Here is a link to make a condom comeback wheel--I will have to look into making one or finding a pre-made one. Yes, I agree about the thread. My question has nothing to do with rape. The size thing was just an example of one reason that just saying "no condom, no sex" is not that easy.

    http://www.hiv.gov.gy/edocs/tl_ed_helpwomen.pdf


    Last edit by wish_me_luck on Jun 12, '13
  9. Visit  Esme12 profile page
    0
    YOU should also check with the CDC....CDC - NCHHSTP Home
  10. Visit  ♪♫ in my ♥ profile page
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    OP, I understand that the intent of your question didn't pertain to rape.

    What took me there was just your example of the danger of a small woman needing to fend off a larger man which seems like the initial sequence of rape..... and a situation which seemed to me to be unrelated to condom-use request.

    It was not my intention to divert your thread. I'm pleased that you've received some helpful suggestions.
  11. Visit  blackvans1234 profile page
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    Like I always say, you can fix ugly but ya can't fix stupid!
  12. Visit  Adele_Michal7 profile page
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    Quote from loriangel14
    Why would you get into a car with or go to the house of someone you barely know?
    Kinda what I was thinking...

    Quote from Altra

    I think you're missing the underlying total lack of concern present in a man's mind ... if the threat of pregnancy, fatherhood and/or sexually transmitted infections AND/OR the expressed desire of his female partner for him to wear a condom isn't enough to "convince" him ... no magic education from a nurse is going to change that.
    Yeah... If you have to convince someone to wear one maybe you shouldn't be sleeping with them.
  13. Visit  wooh profile page
    0
    Quote from Adele_Michal7
    Yeah... If you have to convince someone to wear one maybe you shouldn't be sleeping with them.
    Yes, and if you have to sleep with him despite your expressed desire not to, that's rape. And women need to understand that. Men need to understand that. People need to understand that.


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