Hello! Not a nurse, but I'm a CMA. I have ADD-I type and I had it since I was 9. I never took medications, and I did struggle a lot in school, but I got older and I got used to it and used it with my advantage. But once I went to college, I noticed how much I was all over the place, not being able to pay attention. I went to the school counselor and she suggested to see a Psychiatrist to see what's going on. I took my old paperwork when I was 9 and she wanted to do another test to see how it is now an adult and once again I was re-diagnosed with ADD-I and started on medications. I know how you feel, but if you remember some medications react differently to others. To me Vyvanse and Concentra made me too hyper and anxious, I had to take Klonopin with them. I was under a lot of stress at that time with my old work and I wasn't happy. I was fired/quit that job and I still wasn't okay. Now I'm on Adderall XR, but in a better job with less stress. But i still feel I'm not concentrated enough like I should. I work at medical aide at a school and it's much more better.
As someone who knows your struggle, I would say this:
1) Find ways to keep yourself on track. I noticed while working by myself how off track I can be (Like now... on this forum instead of working.) and I can be so in the zone that I forget the time. I bought myself a smart watch that vibrates and set up times on it along with my phone to ring and vibrate when it's time for me to work again. I have this app that every 30 mins, it tells me to work, then to relax by surfing the net, the back to work. And along with that I have my alarms for my students who require medications. I have a checklist on my view that reminds me what I should done and I make sure to write down and remind myself on my phone for dates and other things I need done outside of home. I'm going to say, your phone can be your lifesaver. If you figure out how to make it remind you of things, especially of dates and other stuff outside of work, it can be super helpful. For example, let's say I have a doctor's appt at 2:00 pm on friday, I got on my phone, put that time and date and I have to option to remind me at least 1 hr to 30 mins before I'm suppose to leave to the event so I can prepare for departure.
2) Try your best to be organized. I know it's hard, I get it. But if you have a method to organize yourself, do it. You were able to to go through nursing school
with your ADHD, so remember back how you kept yourself organized and on track.
3) Don't knock out medications. I know you had a bad experience with ONE medication, but there's various of combinations of medications that may help. Find a trusted psychiatrist, that is willing to help and listen to you and a therapist as well, and with that team, work together to find which medication works for you. It's all about trial and error, so don't fret if one doesn't work
4) Don't be so hard on yourself. I know, I do the same thing. I mess up on one thing, I automatically want to punish myself. I got this because of all of the year of some horrible teachers and my last job as well, and my CMA teacher too. It was hard to go over the trauma but after getting myself a therapist, I know that I shouldn't be so hard on myself, we all make mistakes and we just need to learn from it. If you mess up again, just try again and again until you got it. Don't sell yourself short, you gotten yourself to this point in your life and with this disability. Don't let it define you! I believe in you!