Have you ever been attracted to a patient?

  1. I can't believe I'm even writing this but here goes.

    Over the last few weeks I've found myself really attracted to one of our male patients. He's been on the ward for a couple months now for recurrent depression.

    Physically he's good looking and only slightly older than me. I think part of the attraction also comes from the fact that (obviously outside of our setting) he would be my type (the dark brooding musician thing). I think this attraction basically started when after a few weeks of being with us, he smiled and laughed during one of our talks and something just sparked I guess.

    That being said I'm horrified by myself. Never, ever would I act on this attraction, violate my standards or his trust. But I can't help it, I feel like I've developed a little crush on the guy. I'm not worried about my behavior as I always keep it professional, but mentally this is screwing with me.

    has this happened to any others working in a psych unit? How do you make it go away? What is wrong with me?
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  2. 5 Comments

  3. by   Davey Do
    Quote from LilaDavis
    That being said I'm horrified by myself. Never, ever would I act on this attraction, violate my standards or his trust. But I can't help it, I feel like I've developed a little crush on the guy. I'm not worried about my behavior as I always keep it professional, but mentally this is screwing with me.
    I applaud your honesty and perspective, LilaDavis.

    We are free to feel any way we wish- our feelings cannot be judged. Our actions, however, can be and we will have to deal with the ramifications of those actions.

    It is good that you are bringing these feelings, pretty much anonymous, in an area where you shouldn't have to deal with any negative consequences.

    "Never, would I act on this attraction" needs to be your mantra at this time. The Forbidden Fruit appears so very sweet, but it is poisonous!

    And, yes, I have been, and continue to be in my old age, attracted to Patients. I acknowledge that attraction, remain as professional as possible, the relationship ends, and is left as two ships passing in the night.

    The best to you, LilaDavis!
  4. by   puravidaLV
    Yes I've been attracted to their fist, their spit, and most above all else endless proposals of how i can eat what rhymes with "ship"
  5. by   elkpark
    Have I ever been attracted? Yes. Have I ever acted on those feelings, or even given any indication that I was having them? No. As Davey notes, we can't control our feelings, but we can certainly control what we do about them. Tread carefully. Professional boundaries are your friends. There isn't any way I know of to "make it go away." Just ride it out; he won't be on your unit forever. If you have a more experienced colleague on the unit (nurse, social worker, psychologist) you trust, processing your feelings with that person may be helpful (I've never understood why clinical supervision, which is taken for granted in in all the other mental health professions, is so rarely utilized in psychiatric nursing).
    Last edit by elkpark on Nov 8
  6. by   GeminiNurse29
    Nope. Then again, I deal with criminals and killers and everything in between who broke the law.

    How do you make it go away? Hmm for me, I would imagine losing my job, license, reputation, integrity, and everything I've worked so hard for.

    Good luck and if you can't handle it, I would ask to be transferred to another unit if possible.
  7. by   Hyacinthk
    I'm a patient,I've been in love with my psyche nurse for years,I tend to go every year to the same ward when my sleep completely stops and I have psychosis.You can read about it on my profile.Im pretty sure my nurse feels exactly the same as he's always staring at me and giving me intense glances,I just know intuitively too.He was put in another unit for awhile I think because of it,but then came back some days but he is not allowed to be my nurse, like he will be allotted to one section of the ward where I am,but will not be allowed to be my nurse.

    I think it's probably not a good idea to be this brooding guys nurse,I was so focused on him that I didn't always think through my recovery,e.g I would skip dinner and lunch if he was going to be in the dining room and I was penalised for that and delayed.But I have no doubt he is some sort of soulmate I had past life dreams about him and the like,and just feel complete utter electricity around him,very dramatic sort of love.I think it's quite unfair that nothing can happen as no one could better understand what I go through,or make a better partner.

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