Frustrated and exhausted

  1. I came to this site last night looking for information on Ablify. I have a fifteen year old daughter who about a year and a half ago slipped into a major depression. She has been self-mutilating for about that long also, that I know of. She was in and out of the adolescent units 6-7 times within about a 8 month period. They tried numerous meds, even the Bi-Polar meds(they didn't work at all, just made her worse). The hospitalizations didn't seem to help at all. She had attempted suicide a few times last year. She has thoughts of suicide and death alot, and has said she hears voices and sees things. It seems as though she has a obsession with death. Last year when she got bad she started to wear all black all the time. She has since started wearing some colors, but I can tell when she slips further into her depression because she goes back to wearing all black. She went through some catatonic episodes, had an MRI and an EEG. The Neurologist said there isn't anything neurologically wrong with her. She refuses to go to a counselor for therapy, but will go to her Pyschiatrist for her meds. There was an incident about two months ago where I told her she couldn't go somewhere and she went under her bed and was tearing things up , cussing at me, and talking about death. This went on for about two hours, she finally calmed down and was ok for a while. When she gets really depressed she either goes into her closet or under her bed and tells me to leave her alone. A lot of times this is when she cuts on herself. She's a beautiful girl and it breaks my heart to see her do this to herself and I can't stop it. I've tried love, talking, anger, and I don't know what else to do. She is on 150 mg zoloft once a day and 100mg of Wellbutrin 2 X's a day. It seems to get worse when she has PMS, I really don't know if there is an actual connection or not. She actually had done well with the cutting until about a month ago. She has gotten bad again. There for a while she kept saying that she might have to go to the State Hospital. I've taken her razors away from her, but she finds anything to cut with, including her own fingernails. I just wish it would all go away and my daughter would come back to me. There are times when she can become very manipulative, especially if she doesn't get her way. She's very defiant against authority, she even cussed out a police officer to his face when she refused to come home with me from her friend's house and they were forcing her to come home. Then there are times when she can be so very caring for children or the handicapped children who can't take care of themselves and she will stick up for them no matter what. I was wondering if anyone has any ideas on what kind of support groups are out there for me and maybe if I can get her to go, a support group for her. What about meds? The doctor was talking about adding Ablify to her meds. I just don't know what to put her on, and I'm concerned that she's not going to function well as an adult. She is a Sophomore in Highschool, and only has two years left. I'm sorry to make this so lengthy. Any ideas? Thanks!
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    About shorty0201

    Joined: Dec '03; Posts: 6

    34 Comments

  3. by   Noney
    First of all I'm not a psych nurse, but I want say I'm sorry you and your daughter are going though this. I'm sure you'll get some good advice.

    I'd say that you could get info about support groups at her pyschiatrist's office. Or from the centers she recieved inpatient care from.

    Another thing I'd investigate is there any possibility she has or is being abused by someone and is afraid to tell you?


    Schizophrenia?


    There was athread about Ablify not too long ago. If you do a search you'll be able to read about it.



    Good luck


    Noney
  4. by   Noney
    I just bumped the thread up for you. It's called "new med"


    Click on taday's active thhreads and it should be close to the top.



    Noney
  5. by   Altra
    Sending you a hug and a pat on the hand ... {{{{Shorty}}}}

    I'm dealing with a similar situation with my sister (she's 20 years younger than I am) - you can see my thread "Seeking advice - dealing with 17-year old". I'm a student, not a psych nurse, so I can't offer anything on the merits of different meds.

    It IS exhausting and painful - please remember to take care of yourself as well. I sincerely hope you & your daughter find some peace.

    Leigh
  6. by   CCU NRS
    I don't have any reall advice either. I went to the boards on www.Bolt.com for a whie to try to talk to some of these young people that do this to try to gain some insight just because I was curious, I also have a 15 year old stepdaughter she was abused as an infant her and her sister who is now 13 and they both have a lot of problems from this and I was afraid for a while that one or both of them may begin ths type of behavior. It is really wierd these young people just feel completely overwhelmed in the world and don't feel that there is any hope. I mesaged with many of them and offered to be a sounding board or shoulder to lean or person to talk to via email etc and they really just don't even seem to want to try to break the cycle.

    It is very scary both of my girls are in therapy and one was diagnosed as borderline personality and the other as bi-polar. They are continuing to talk to thrapists and seem to be doing better but they are still very hateful and hurtful at times.


    Good Luck with your situation
  7. by   lucianne
    Does your daughter have an official diagnosis--not that a dx is the be-all and end-all, but it helps categorize her behaviors and helps direct her therapy. What Bipolar meds did you try? It might be worth it to try again in a very systematic way. Do you know if she was compliant with her meds? Did her blood levels reach therapeutic range?

    There is a website by the Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation, www.bpkids.org, that might be helpful to you and your daughter whether she actually has bipolar disorder or not.

    There is a book you should read called "Cutting" by Steven Levenkron. I haven't read it in years and seem to recall that it may be a little out of touch with current research about cutting behaviors, but it can give you some good insight into why people self-harm. I did a lot of research on cutting several years ago for a paper I was writing. While many people think that self-mutilation is a direct symptom of borderline personality disorder, I tend to think that it is a maladaptive coping mechanism that can be present in other psychiatric illnesses as well. One thing to keep in mind is that cutting can be an addictive behavior due to the release of endorphins in response to pain.

    There is a program called SAFE (Self-abuse Finally Ends) that has been successful in many cases. You might want to look into that. If I remember correctly, the focus is more on developing better coping mechanisms instead of stopping the self-abuse. In my experience, the more attention that is paid to the results of self abuse, the more likely the abuser is to continue. But there are different reasons for self-abuse and different reactions to it. Some do it for attention, some do it to release unacceptable feelings, some do it when they feel they are becoming dissociative...

    I work with this population and I certainly feel for you. I hope you can find some better answers soon.

    luci
  8. by   sanakruz
    You MUST get this child into therapy.
    I agree with luci about meds and the cutting- No it's just not BPD.


    I hate to say this but you need to be sure she is not on street drugs. They will only make things worse in the long run, but she may turn to them for immmediate relief.

    I have also seen young people both boys and girls cut whentheyve sexual identity issues
  9. by   shorty0201
    I appreciate all of your responses. There's not a whole lot of people I've found to talk to about this who truly understand. The bi-polar meds they tried her on were Trileptal and Lithium, they did get to Therapeutic levels (this was during her last admission, which was 30 days). The only reason I took her out was because we ran out of insurance. The insurance companies don't treat brain illnesses like other illnesses. If you had a problem with your heart, they wouldn't put a 30 day inpatient limit on it. You would stay until you were all better. I don't understand. It's funny because if you say the word "Counselor to her" or "Counseling" she refuses to go and unfortunately she's old enough and big enough I can't just pick her up and take her in. If I knew what was to come, I would have put her in Counseling a long time ago. I usually don't give her too much attention towards her cuts. But maybe too much I don't know. I do let her know she makes me angry, and saddens me when she does this, but it is like she doesn't want to quit. She will not make a committment to stop. I also clean up her arms, I put Vitamin E, because I don't want her arms to scar up. So far it's working, they haven't scarred yet. I don't think she has sexual identity issues that I know of, she has a boyfriend(he's one that I actually like, a good kid!) I also don't think she's on street drugs at this time, she has smoked pot before and I still don't know if she tried "Ecstasy" She swears up and down she hasn't, but the way this came on last year made me wonder. Her drug tests at all of her hospitalizations all came back neg. I send a hug and a pat to you too Leigh, I did read what you wrote about your sister. She reminded me of my daughter, so very much. The anger, the agitation, the cutting, the defiance against authority or anyone who does not give them their way. I could go on and on, I already have, sorry. Sometimes it's good to just write it all down and get it all out. Something is wrong with our teenagers, and it's only getting worse. I always worked full time, but either me or dad was always home with Heather and her brother(almost 18). They were never latch key children, so I don't think it really matters what you do for your children, they are going to do what they want to when they become teenagers. I better close for now, sorry to make this one so lengthy also. Thanks to all!
  10. by   gambitt7
    hi - i just want to let you know it doesnt always last forever, i had the same exact problems going on in my life for quite some type at around the same ages u described. i put my family, freinds, and myself through absolute hell for quite some time, even into adulthood somewhat, i was on every drug imaginable, and every new one that would come out always seemed to be toted as the new miracle drug that would be the answer. its embarrassing now for me to really go into detail about cutting myself and all that, but at the time it was so easy for me to do, currently i take no meds whatsoever and am maried with children, and have been very successsful in the working world (knock on wood)... i have so much more to tell you but will do so via an email or whatever option this site allows, i just want to point out that your situation is not hopeless as frustrating as it may seem, i am living proof, when i look back now it really doesnt seem like that big a deal to me, because i am secure with myself and all that, even with the scars...
  11. by   shorty0201
    Quote from gambitt7
    hi - i just want to let you know it doesnt always last forever, i had the same exact problems going on in my life for quite some type at around the same ages u described. i put my family, freinds, and myself through absolute hell for quite some time, even into adulthood somewhat, i was on every drug imaginable, and every new one that would come out always seemed to be toted as the new miracle drug that would be the answer. its embarrassing now for me to really go into detail about cutting myself and all that, but at the time it was so easy for me to do, currently i take no meds whatsoever and am maried with children, and have been very successsful in the working world (knock on wood)... i have so much more to tell you but will do so via an email or whatever option this site allows, i just want to point out that your situation is not hopeless as frustrating as it may seem, i am living proof, when i look back now it really doesnt seem like that big a deal to me, because i am secure with myself and all that, even with the scars...
    Thank you so very much for those words of encouragement!
  12. by   shorty0201
    I'm not sure if the last thank you worked, so I will try again. Thank you so very much for those words of encouragement! They are greatly appreciated. It seems like this is tearing up my entire family (husband, son and daughter).
  13. by   catz
    have pmed u
  14. by   traumaRUs
    Please go to conductdisorders.com. It is a wonderful and supportive website for those who deal with this isse. On that BB my name is Judi good luck

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