I've not had anything exactly like this....but I think you did the right thing! If I was in bed with my husband and our baby was in the room with us, and the door closed, I would be LIVID, totally LIVID, if a nurse opened the door and peaked in at me!! What if we weren't actually sleeping but doing something else?! This is my home and the door is closed! Only thing I can think of is maybe you could have very softly knocked and seen if they responded... But if they didn't, let them be. I have had situations where I debated about whether to "bother" the family or not....it just depends.
It is so important to keep that professional boundary, and respect the privacy of the home. I always try to imagine what it would be like to always have a nurse in your home! Then, on top of it, imagine some nurse who lacks a professional boundary, invades privacy, and noses into business that is not hers. I have encountered two nurses in the past who failed to keep a professional boundary and essentially socially integrated into the family. It created SO MANY problems. (I could type a 5,000 word post! haha) The family is not your friend, they are a client! A nurse who had socially integrated into the family likely would have barged right into the room without even thinking about it.
Private duty does create unique situations....where nurses must balance the family's rights vs. the nurse's responsibilities. You are in a private home, and the family can really do whatever they choose to do in regards to the patient's care. As the nurse, we do have to follow MD orders and we must make sure that the patient is being cared for properly...but there are sometimes shades of gray in the home. This is another reason to keep a professional boundary...only then will we be able to make OBJECTIVE decisions about the patient's care.
I think you did the right thing nurse hobbit! It is great the Director of Clinical Services backed you! I am sure that was re-assuring. Continue to keep a professional boundary and respect the privacy of the family! I was once accused by another PD nurse of being cold-hearted and cruel because of the firm professional boundary I maintained with a particular family. It is often rare in life to see justice done, but justice was eventually done...the situation went bad and the nurse was fired. She did it to herself by being a "friend" to the family instead of their nurse.