Pediatric patients...parents are KILLING me!

Specialties Private Duty

Published

Ok I have to rant and I know some of you feel me! I am BEYOND sick and tired of being taken advantage of by my pedi parents. They just flat out don't take care of thier child and expect you to do everything. And WHY am I here taking care of your child when you and your husband are here just lounging around the house, running errands, and going out to eat? Why am I here if YOU are here? You come in every few hours to see how your child is doing and then out the door u go! Why am I here stuck sitting in a small room for 8 to 10 hours while mom is at work and dad is sitting in the recliner ALL day playing XBOX? Why are you throwing a damn fit when I call you an hour before my shift and tell you my daughter is very sick and I have to cancel my shift...because you are going to be home all day but now you can't go to your yoga class and meet a friend for lunch. OMG, you have to take care of your own child! What a horrible thing it must be not to have a nurse there to be a parent so you don't have to! UuuuuGgghhhhh these parents are ruining my desire to do private care. TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILD!

I just got fired from a case I worked for one week. Why do parents hire nurses. Do they expect you to ****** be their kids playmate. Especially when the kid is special needs. Actually I think the mom fired me because she was jealous her son liked me more than her. Also they would micro manage me it's like get a life. And if you don't want anyone handling your kids don't ask for a nurse. I blame the agencies. They make it to easy to hire and fire nurses and the family can replace you at the drop of a hat. They should make it so it's hard for them to get another nurse.

I just got fired from a case I worked for one week. Why do parents hire nurses. Do they expect you to ****** be their kids playmate. Especially when the kid is special needs. Actually I think the mom fired me because she was jealous her son liked me more than her. Also they would micro manage me it's like get a life. And if you don't want anyone handling your kids don't ask for a nurse. I blame the agencies. They make it to easy to hire and fire nurses and the family can replace you at the drop of a hat. They should make it so it's hard for them to get another nurse.

I have been on this forum for YEARS and this is the worst attitude that I have seen on here. This is the family's child. The family has the right to discharge a nurse from their home for almost any reason. It could be for patient care issues, not following the parent's schedule, not following agency rules, not following house rules, or having a crappy attitude. The family decides how much the nurse can and can't do and that often changes as the family feels more comfortable with that particular nurse.

I had nurses that were minimally competent and I barely felt comfortable taking a shower and I had amazing nurses that I didn't worry about at all.

You need to realize that whether or not the parent has had any previous health care experience, the parent is the expert on their child. Most parents don't want nursing but they NEED it so they can sleep or work or just take a poop for 5 minutes without worrying about a major desat or a heart rate bradying down or a seizure.

2 Votes

I enjoy seeing the parents get to take a load off when I'm there. Whether it's shopping, watching a game on tv, getting house cleaning done...

3 Votes
I know it must be frustrating to see your client's parents relax and go about their life as "normal" people, all the while you are left caring for their own child in what seems to be a prison...right? Have you ever thought that these parents NEED you to care for their child so that they CAN do a yoga class, watch some TV or go out to dinner? Granted, they probably "get away" to a job, some may even be stay-at-home parents, but then it is full-on with no break 24/7...FOREVER. Blessed are those home health providers that give some respite from never ending care to allow a snapshot of "normal" life for special needs parents! It may seem to inconvenience you, but to a parent that has a special child, being able to go to a gym, eat dinner or quietly engage in down time is a time-limited gift! If it wasn't for you (or other home health providers), these parents would NEVER get a "break". Nobody ever signs up for a child with special needs...but you love that child, and martyring any and all personal time to be with that child is no more healthy than being a "helicopter" parent to a typical child. This is YOUR job, this is what YOU signed up for...not these parents! Be proud that you can give these parents a taste of what most "normal" parents experience!!! You can leave at the end of your shift, and you can change jobs...these parents are here to stay.

I know this all too well, because I am a (single) parent of a child with special needs. I have been getting home health care for several years. Sometimes, I am in school in pursuit of my RN, sometimes I am working...but many times I just need a break! It hurts to move 75 lbs all day long, it is exhausting to constantly travel to appointments, it is upsetting to put my other child on hold, it is tiring to have interrupted sleep, and it is impossible to work on therapeutic exercises while managing everything else. These special kids do not get play dates or sleepovers like typical kids...nobody wants to care for them but their own parents and hired help. If you do not want to be that hired help, you best change your job! There is nothing I dislike more than to RELY (because there is no one else) on home health providers that do not embrace the care of my flesh and blood. Your job is VERY important...even if it is just to sit there in the living room, watching TV, just in case....

You absolutely nailed it. PERFECT response.

A few weeks ago, the mother of my patient was telling me how her daughter was keeping her up all night (No night nurse.) So the mother was very sleep deprived. If my patient isn't occupied, she constantly calls out "Momma." Repeatedly. The mom, weary, tired, drained, loving her daughter to pieces, but needing a break before she goes insane.

Later in the day, I was reading a book to my patient, the mom was right there on the couch resting. I looked over and she was sleeping. She was OUT. I felt a sudden feeling of....I can't think of the word. I felt I was making a huge difference in the mother's life simply by giving her a break. It was an honor to provide respite.

5 Votes
I have been on this forum for YEARS and this is the worst attitude that I have seen on here. This is the family's child. The family has the right to discharge a nurse from their home for almost any reason. It could be for patient care issues, not following the parent's schedule, not following agency rules, not following house rules, or having a crappy attitude. The family decides how much the nurse can and can't do and that often changes as the family feels more comfortable with that particular nurse.

I had nurses that were minimally competent and I barely felt comfortable taking a shower and I had amazing nurses that I didn't worry about at all.

You need to realize that whether or not the parent has had any previous health care experience, the parent is the expert on their child. Most parents don't want nursing but they NEED it so they can sleep or work or just take a poop for 5 minutes without worrying about a major desat or a heart rate bradying down or a seizure.

I am pretty sure that is not true.

It is the state board of nursing that determines what the nurse can and cannot do.

For example,I had a family that tried to make me give a OTC med that was not prescribed for the patient. Told them over and over I could not do that but they were welcome to.

I also told them I would not take a vented/trach/NGT child outside for a walk without a Doctor's orders.

But you seem like a reasonable and awesome parent from your posts!

I think some of the frustration on here is due to some of the bad apples out there,which lately there seems to be a lot more of now.

I do not know what has changed,but things were so different when i started out 10 years ago as an LPN.

Like some parents will watch you struggle to place their 100 pound child into a wheelchair without offering any help.

I think it is expected that the parents will help out somewhat with the nurses.

The only time I need help is with transfers,and with some families it is like pulling teeth.

I felt I was making a huge difference in the mother's life simply by giving her a break. It was an honor to provide respite.

I work private duty as my extra $$ side job - I will admit on a few cases I have felt like a high paid babysitter & have wondered how the child/family were even eligible for PDN care when the family could easily do it themselves (child not high level of care) without much stress. My current case I totally feel I am there for reason if nothing else to make a difference in their life - to give them a break for 9 hours.

1 Votes
On 4/14/2016 at 1:18 PM, mustanglover said:

Do you at least get paid holiday, paid sick days, and paid vacation? If you don't get any of those benefits you are overly being taken advantage of, fast food workers get all these benefits and they even get group insurance. A fast food workers health insurance isn't any thing to brag about but at least they get some kind of discounted health insurance.

No we don't. Some agencies will pay time and a half for working holidays. Some offer bottom of the barrel insurance, just enough to keep us from being sanctioned come tax time but most of the time it has a 6k deductible or doesn't cover Dr visits outside preventative and forget er visits.

So no. We don't make $30 an hour and our benefits are crappy but we love our jobs. We love seeing our patients meet goals and we do our best to give quality care to patients that need us. It is just really hard to do sometimes when we go over our job descriptions and have parents/families treat us badly, talk to us like we are morons and take advantage of us. They think nothing of arriving home late everyday but God forbid we have to arrive late once. I have told a parent you are not my boss, or my employer, I work for my agency. This is however a partnership of me performing set duties spelled out in my job description and you understanding your responsibilities in relation to your nursing care providers. We have to be on the same page or it doesn't work for anyone.

I try hard not to judge parents for what they do or don't do while I am caring form their kid but sometimes it is difficult. But I imagine it is hard on them knowing we are always there in their home and I would bet they feel judged.

2 Votes

I’m a pediatric home health nurse(LPN) in CA. I’ve been on this case about 5 months first just since I got my license and I can tell you I love my job but I do not love dealing with my patients mom. She never has anything positive to say about my performance but she also doesn’t have anything negative to say because I do everything for her. I’ve had to learn how to lift my pt myself in and out of the shower/WC/bed because my pts mom claims she doesn’t have time to do it or help when she does not work. I understand she has other kids and it becomes a lot but she’s also not nice to me. Currently it’s about 100 degrees outside and I’m sitting in my car waiting for my patient to come home on the bus from school when her mother goes to the same school to pick up her son. Last week my medi-CAL person came to speak with my pts mom and I and she(mom) essentially just kept going on about how I’m only at school and in her home for a little bit because her bus gets in late and she needs help showering like really? Okay, I help her do all of that when my pt gets home but sure I don’t ever help and I’m not willing to change my schedule she can go ahead and change me as her nurse but alas in the last 2 years she’s had 5 nurses. Here we get $20.50/hr with crummy benefits that I decided against getting because copays would be 30% for the insurance I can afford($150/week), no holiday pay, no OT and my agency is less than responsive when I need something. I cannot wait to become an RN at least with that title I have more options than SNF or home health.

Sorry to hear about your *** position. I was a manager at a home health care agency and found some of the parents had attitude. I am now with a pediatric patient that I have been with since she was discharged at 5 months old and the family is wonderful to me. Really love my patient and her family too. Don’t settle.

Specializes in Geriatric/Pediatric nurse.

I’ve been in home pediatric nursing for 9 years and what I’ve noticed parents tend to get very slack once a nurse enters the home care scene. In home nursing care is not to be so the parents can do nothing it is to assist with providing the best care for optimal health and quality of life for the child or patient .

13 hours ago, NurseCelia said:

I’m a pediatric home health nurse(LPN) in CA. I’ve been on this case about 5 months first just since I got my license and I can tell you I love my job but I do not love dealing with my patients mom. She never has anything positive to say about my performance but she also doesn’t have anything negative to say because I do everything for her. I’ve had to learn how to lift my pt myself in and out of the shower/WC/bed because my pts mom claims she doesn’t have time to do it or help when she does not work. I understand she has other kids and it becomes a lot but she’s also not nice to me. Currently it’s about 100 degrees outside and I’m sitting in my car waiting for my patient to come home on the bus from school when her mother goes to the same school to pick up her son. Last week my medi-CAL person came to speak with my pts mom and I and she(mom) essentially just kept going on about how I’m only at school and in her home for a little bit because her bus gets in late and she needs help showering like really? Okay, I help her do all of that when my pt gets home but sure I don’t ever help and I’m not willing to change my schedule she can go ahead and change me as her nurse but alas in the last 2 years she’s had 5 nurses. Here we get $20.50/hr with crummy benefits that I decided against getting because copays would be 30% for the insurance I can afford($150/week), no holiday pay, no OT and my agency is less than responsive when I need something. I cannot wait to become an RN at least with that title I have more options than SNF or home health.

Baths are in a nurses aid job description not the Lpn . While I would occasionally help I would not do them all .

36 minutes ago, Nurse4life2006 said:

I’ve been in home pediatric nursing for 9 years and what I’ve noticed parents tend to get very slack once a nurse enters the home care scene. In home nursing care is not to be so the parents can do nothing it is to assist with providing the best care for optimal health and quality of life for the child or patient .

Baths are in a nurses aid job description not the Lpn . While I would occasionally help I would not do them all .

I really do feel like these hours of nursing are so my patients mother can get a break but she is taking advantage of it because she keeps talking about she needs her respite well my pt is gone from 630-300 M-F is that not enough respite? She told me yesterday that she would need to change my hours from 9-5 since my patient is getting in at around 330 and I’m off at 4. I only have enough time to change her and position her in bed right normally I’d shower her and give her a bolus feeding of her formula which literally takes 45 minutes altogether so I don’t see why she can’t resume care or we can start care as a team. Plus this wouldn’t be an issue if she didn’t rely on the bus to bring her kid home when she goes to the same school to pick up her older son. I let her know I was not okay with those hours I live a little over an hour away and take classes in the fall and explained to her that I would not have enough time to make it to school on that schedule and I’ve built my life around my 8-4pm schedule. During the summer she politely asked if I could do 6 hour shifts instead of 8 because my pt shares a room with her two brothers, they have a small 2 bedroom, and I said yes. So first I’m there too long and now I’m there long enough and I don’t understand. My pt doesn’t require a lot of maintenance she just needs to be watched at all times and has a g tube. Here I am my own CNA and LVN because I do ALL of the care even if the mother was there I would assume total responsibility like seriously I’ve even noticed my pt comes into school on mondays as greasy as a pizza because she doesn’t regularly get showers over the weekend because I’m expected to do it. Her mother is confusing nursing with babysitting and forgetting the hours are for her daughter to remain safe and taken care of not so her mother can forget she has a special needs daughter.

Specializes in Geriatric/Pediatric nurse.
5 minutes ago, NurseCelia said:

I really do feel like these hours of nursing are so my patients mother can get a break but she is taking advantage of it because she keeps talking about she needs her respite well my pt is gone from 630-300 M-F is that not enough respite? She told me yesterday that she would need to change my hours from 9-5 since my patient is getting in at around 330 and I’m off at 4. I only have enough time to change her and position her in bed right normally I’d shower her and give her a bolus feeding of her formula which literally takes 45 minutes altogether so I don’t see why she can’t resume care or we can start care as a team. Plus this wouldn’t be an issue if she didn’t rely on the bus to bring her kid home when she goes to the same school to pick up her older son. I let her know I was not okay with those hours I live a little over an hour away and take classes in the fall and explained to her that I would not have enough time to make it to school on that schedule and I’ve built my life around my 8-4pm schedule. During the summer she politely asked if I could do 6 hour shifts instead of 8 because my pt shares a room with her two brothers, they have a small 2 bedroom, and I said yes. So first I’m there too long and now I’m there long enough and I don’t understand. My pt doesn’t require a lot of maintenance she just needs to be watched at all times and has a g tube. Here I am my own CNA and LVN because I do ALL of the care even if the mother was there I would assume total responsibility like seriously I’ve even noticed my pt comes into school on mondays as greasy as a pizza because she doesn’t regularly get showers over the weekend because I’m expected to do it. Her mother is confusing nursing with babysitting and forgetting the hours are for her daughter to remain safe and taken care of not so her mother can forget she has a special needs daughter.

You said a lot in those last few lines. Why the parents think we are babysitters , maids etc I will never understand . I’ve recently been going through something similar myself because of lack of setting boundaries trying to help the mother out but honestly she does absolutely as little as possible and I’m tired of it. No offense but if the baths aren’t done on the families time because they think it’s your responsibility it’s plain and clear neglect on the mothers /fathers part.

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