Please everybody, I need to vent. Bear with me & help me please, lol...
Ok, I have been working with a child on a trach & vent for 2 months now. The mom works from home-unfortunately. Before I came along, she had 4 other nurses out there that she sent away because according to her, they were incompetent.
Right away, I could tell that the other nurses weren't the problem, it was her!! She claims that she likes me & that I take good care of her child, but she just started letting me give them a bath last month (I was a CNA for 6 years, think I know how to give a good bed bath). She won't let me do trach care, she insists on doing it not being clean or sterile with it at all, then complains when the child has an infection around the trach. Gee I wonder why??
She's extremely rude to me & to everyone but then wants to complain to me that she has no friends, no support & she's so burnt out. Complains she cant sleep at night because the noc nurses keep up so much noise.
I just recently switched from days to nocs. The first noc, I changed the child a couple of times & repositioned. When I was leaving in the morning, she didn't believe that I had changed the child because she didn't hear me in the room with the child (she has her bed in the child's room). I told her I intentionally kept quiet so I wouldn't wake her up. (Even though I can't stand her, I still try to be nice & caring). She kept asking me if I was sure I had changed them or not!!
Another reason why I think she doesn't care for me anymore is because I don't come to her house to hang out with her on my days off, I haven't gone hiking with her...she doesn't understand that I'm there to take care of her child, not be her friend.
I've been complaining to get out of there the first week I started and the company wouldnt let me! If I'm not happy with the client or their family & at times feel almost scared to ask a question because she's gonna snap, shouldn't they move me around?
Also, when it comes to the childs meds, the mom changes things & move them around because she thinks she knows everything. I try explaining to her, I have to follow the MAR. If you want to give this & give that then you have to do it yourself.
Aahhh!! Sorry, but it feels so good to vent to fellow professionals. Maybe someone can give me some advice on how to handle her?
The next step? I will have to quit!
How long has this child had a trach/vent? How old is the child? I would seriously consider the circumstances of the child's situation and her home situation. Loneliness, having a child on life support that requires 24/7 care, working from, no family support, social isolation can lead up to hard core depression. Controlling the nurses is probably the only thing that she feels that she CAN control in her life. I don't get the sharing a room thing unless she frequently doesn't have night nursing. If that was my set-up, though, I'd sleep on the couch when I did have nursing. Are you near a children's hospital? Can you find a local support group for MFTD or SN children? Maybe contact the hospital social worker for other ideas. Also, whatever diagnosis this child has probably also has a support group in person, on-line or on Facebook. There is a closed group on FB called Tracheostomy that can provide her some emotional and "how to deal with nurses" support. That being said, I can't condone treating a nurse like garbage just because your life is a bit unpleasant.
Last edit by DidiRN on Oct 17, '13