Not affectionate enough??? - page 2

I was recently informed that I am not affectionate enough with my toddler patient. I play with him, do plenty of activities with him, give him a pat on the head when I get there...not when I leave since he's still asleep. A... Read More

  1. 1
    I saw this a lot when I did PDN. The child I took care of had a nurse that had been with him since he left the NICU. She would kiss him and say "I love you" when she left. I personally could not do it, he used to say "I love you" to me and I never really knew what to say. I am okay with hugs but anymore than that, it's too much for a professional relationship. He had a very loving family.
    Tired_Mommy likes this.

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  2. 1
    Quote from PediLove2147
    I saw this a lot when I did PDN. The child I took care of had a nurse that had been with him since he left the NICU. She would kiss him and say "I love you" when she left. I personally could not do it, he used to say "I love you" to me and I never really knew what to say. I am okay with hugs but anymore than that, it's too much for a professional relationship. He had a very loving family.
    ^My response: "Aww..." and a hug...a brief one, and that's it.
    Tired_Mommy likes this.
  3. 2
    I had an overnight case where they wanted us to let the dog out at night if it went to the door and then let it back in a little while later. One night the dog got out and I had to wake parents up at 3 am. Dad was really mad at me. Not nearly as mad as he was two mornings later when he stepped in dog pee. "Oh, I'm sorry. I must have been so focused on caring for your daughter that I didn't even notice Fido." He, he, he...
    Tina, RN and Tired_Mommy like this.
  4. 0
    I can see both sides of this. Still, I don't think you can be asked to be more affectionate. Affection is felt, not forced. I am probably overly affectionate with my peds patients, but I can't help it. When I worked in Elderly LTC eons ago, I could not be affectionate. I just did not feel the same bond, though I certainly cared about my patients. I think asking someone to be or feel something they don't is just asking for trouble.
  5. 0
    Quote from drowningdaily
    I had an overnight case where they wanted us to let the dog out at night if it went to the door and then let it back in a little while later. One night the dog got out and I had to wake parents up at 3 am. Dad was really mad at me. Not nearly as mad as he was two mornings later when he stepped in dog pee. "Oh, I'm sorry. I must have been so focused on caring for your daughter that I didn't even notice Fido." He, he, he...
    They need to buy a crate for that dog to stay in at night.
  6. 0
    Wow. Reading through all these posts, I didn't realize how creepy I might come off to other nurses cuddling and kissing my patient (on her ridiculously adorable cheeks). I've been taking care of her practically since she came out of NICU. Mom has a lot of control/trust issues that are alleviated by the fact that I love that little booger with all my heart. She dismissed a nurse who she felt wasn't "affectionate" enough as well, but I think it had more to do with the nurse being more interested in her iphone than interacting with the baby (no cognitive delays, the kid wants to play constantly).

    Perhaps it's a little easier to maintain distance in a non-PDN setting, with other patients and general hustle and bustle going on. In this case, it's just me and the baby hanging out for 48 hours a week (no TV, no radio, no cell phone if she is awake, all focus on her). I think the real danger is that someone can become less mindful of their role, which is something I do my damndest to avoid
  7. 1
    I understand the family wants you to show the child love but there is a line. Kissing a child or saying 'I love you' is past that line for me. For as many clients I had I never kissed one or said 'I love you'. The parents should be providing that kind of love & eww all the germs. The client is chronically ill, why pass germs like that?
    On another note, they shouldn't be making you do duties part of the house. I understand cleaning the room, doing or putting away laundry but anything not pertaining to the client would be a no no for me.
    Not_A_Hat_Person likes this.
  8. 0
    I am not touchy kissy, either. Especially, kissy. Germs! Stranger germs. Not okay in my opinion. As a parent if a nurse is kissing my kid, I would be sort of "eww". Even in public, I will NOT just reach and grab a baby's hand like so many people do. It's a professional relationship with some nurturing, just like a teacher. What would happen to a teacher that kissed a student? You see, the red flags going off there?
  9. 2
    you jinxed me
    i never had a problem with this until
    a few days ago when i transferred my
    pt. to his recliner, his mother tells me,
    "you know, my good nurses cuddle with
    him in the recliner"
    while my brain was still trying to digest this
    i heard my mouth spew out,"well you can't
    have all good nurses and if im the worst one,
    you're doing very well"
    to my surprise the response was,"i guess so"
    nursel56 and Texan56 like this.
  10. 0
    Quote from systoly
    you jinxed me
    i never had a problem with this until
    a few days ago when i transferred my
    pt. to his recliner, his mother tells me,
    "you know, my good nurses cuddle with
    him in the recliner"
    while my brain was still trying to digest this
    i heard my mouth spew out,"well you can't
    have all good nurses and if im the worst one,
    you're doing very well"
    to my surprise the response was,"i guess so"
    Clearly this is becoming a trend AEB by my recent thread, pt's mom wants me to cuddle in bed with patient.

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com


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