My Backpack

First you become a student, then make it through school, pass your boards, and off you go. When all of a sudden, you stop and think, when did I change from a newbie, to being ready to retire. Where did the years go? All of a sudden you don't need your backpack, any Nurses Announcements Archive Article

My Backpack

My backpack now sits in the corner of my room, stethoscope, thermometer, blank nurses notes for multiple agencies that my agency did cases for. Time slips....don't need them anymore. Pens.....I always was running them out of ink because we still used narrative notes for the most part. A clipboard.....needed it to write on, couch arms don't work. Hair ties... never could find any to put little girls hair up for school. A few magazines....was always going to read them. Hand lotion, hand sanitizer, a comb for my hair, emery boards, for my nails, if I broke one. A little journal for when I got stressed, and it was better to write it than say it. My name tag. Gloves in a sealed plastic bag, because the box was too big. My nurses scissors from February of 1979....kept them all these years, a memory mostly from when it all started. My first initial and my last name engraved by a fellow classmates husband so we could identify them if we misplaced them. Band-aids....no one ever had band-aids, and siblings needed them sometimes too, for booboos

35 years? 35 years ago, February of 1979, I put on my "school clothes", got pens, pencils, notebooks, and paper, kissed my kid, and then hubby, and went to nursing school. I was scared to death, never was a very good student in high school, and my father's comment still echoing in my mind.

"Why do you want to do that, you'll never finish and you'll just have to pay back all that money."

My student loan was for $1200, that covered everything. As I sat at my desk that first day, I wondered if what dad said was true. New faces, some inviting, some not so friendly. But that day I decided I was going to prove dad wrong.

The weeks went by, and at the end of our first 10 weeks, my average was 74.75. I got to stay in school by one half of a point, because if it had been .25, I would have been gone. I studied so hard, forgoing visits with friends and family to sit at my kitchen table and study. We had a month off in July, and then it was back to school. Things got easier; it was half over and I was still there.

All of a sudden it was over. I was graduating, I really was going to be a nurse! Graduation, we got our diplomas and then they were giving out awards. My most dreaded clinical instructor goes to the podium and starts talking about the "Most Improved Student" award, telling how this person had worked very hard, in clinical and classes, on and on, yadda,yadda. I just wanted to leave and go to my party my parents were giving me. Much to my surprise, I got the award. My average was now about a 90.

When we got to my party, I walked over to my dad and handed him my diploma, and said this is for you. He looked at me puzzled. I said, you told me I'd never finish, and every time I thought about giving up, I remembered what you said to me, so then I would work harder.

I passed my state boards as they called them then, with no problems. I finally could sign, LPN, after my name!

The years went by, I worked at nursing homes, a hospital, all kinds of places. About 1985 or 1986, I went to work for what we call here, a home care agency, to do shifts as an LPN. And that is when I had to buy a backpack. I did a few adult cases, but my dream had always been peds, and I did peds exclusively after I had been there a short while. I learned lots trachs, suctioning, feeding tubes, feeding pumps, apnea monitors, and my scariest, a vent. Me and my backpack traveled together all over my area.

But now I am retiring, and my backpack sits in the corner untouched, because I don't have the heart to empty it out yet. God Bless, and if you do peds home care, don't forget your, BACKPACK!

LPN for 32 years. Peds High Tech Home care nursing for 27 years.

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Great article, and yeah, you're right about that BACKPACK. Sometimes my only friend in home health.

Specializes in Operating Room.

What a touching story! I have also doubted some of my own actions about the loan amounts I am taking out for my college degrees but I must give it to God because the stress absolutely tears me apart if I obsess over it too much. I am so glad nursing was your true calling as I hope that it is mine and that I last as long as you have caring for patients from the bottom of your heart. God Bless You & Yours!

Specializes in Home Health (PDN), Camp Nursing.

I have my bag. It is my only security in my PDN jobs. I may not know where I'm going, who I'm working with, or what I may encounter when I get there, but I do know what is in my bag. It's my only companion on overnights. I realized today that I think it's a personality thing. I like bags. They are reliable and always ready. I carry my PDN bag to the car, I drive to work and stop at an accident and get my EMT bag from the trunk. Tomorrow I teach a CPR class and will pull out my two large duffels. I'm glad you can honorably retire you bag, I'm glad I can continue to sling mine and I hope it can be honorably retired someday.

Thank you for your story!! I'm studying for my entrance exam for nursing school tomorrow and I'm so nervous because I haven't taken all the sciences! I started off my freshman year of college with a 2.0 GPA, and I moved and at this school I've managed a 4.0! And that's including sciences! I can't wait for the day I have RN by my name!

Congrats on retirement. I enjoyed your article. I was just thinking today about how my backpack is like my buddy. I have several different agencies now, and I was debating if I should have one for each. Like my personal "go" bag. My one backpack has been with me since 1998. Decades before I became an RN. I love that bag. It's nothing special, but it's always there.

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

I love your article! I can relate to graduating way back in the seventies, too. My backpack is gigantic. I apologize to no one for that because it's that familiar thing that really is comforting as you lug it around from place to place. Sometimes I think of making an insert for it that has stories like a house because sometimes I'm not sure what's in the basement of my backpack!

Very best wishes to you as you start this new chapter of your life!

Specializes in LTC, Home Health.

Great story!

I thought I was the only one that had a sentimental value for my backpack! HAHA!! I've had my same purple striped back pack since my first year in community college! 5 years later and barely starting my bsn program and I think I have to get rid of it because all the books for nursing may not fit in my backpack :( . Everyone wheels around a luggage type backpack now. I'm sad....

Specializes in Intensive Care.

Thanks for sharing this. I am a young Hospice LPN working with multiple agencies. I can relate to the backpack filled with "all things needed" for a crisis care shift. Gloves, clipboard, band aids, pens, pens, and more pens, alcohol pads, scissors etc. I can only hope to retire in this field, knowing that I gave my best as a nurse. :D

Specializes in Cath Lab, ICU's, Pediatric Critical Care.

Wonderful article! And it makes me a a little sad....I'm just about ready to retire. I've actually been 'trying' to retire for the last several months. Now it looks like it will be in July. After reading your article I thought of my backpacks I've had over the years, and the small little bag that I carry with me now in my current job. I've been trying to thin out piles of nursing books, articles, handouts, etc., in my study....but have not been very successful. I wish I could pass information on to new nurses. I don't feel ready to get rid of anything yet....especially all my Pediatric stuff. I worked Pediatric ER/Level 1 Trauma and Pediatric CCU for almost 12 years. The information is 'old'....but I don't want to throw it out. Shelves of books, file cabinets of nursing information and stories....Lots of good memories of good coworkers, good days at work, many days of learning new information. I've seen a lot of changes in my career over the years, but I'm not ready for this last change.

Specializes in Peds Homecare.

Thanks everyone for all the kind words. P.S. My backpack is still in the corner, maybe next month:)