Who really wants to help people???? - page 2

my brother was talking to a male nursing student in a bar and he informend the bro about how i am going to nursing school because i want to help people. i guess, the guy was pretty shocked and then... Read More

  1. by   destined2bCRNA
    Thank you treeguy... you just took some of the pressure off of poor hubby. I was ranting him to death because I was so upset. You made me feel a lot better that you care
  2. by   NurseLatteDNP
    Quote from treeguy
    In America, even the poor people are rich in comparrisons to places like Africa. At least poor people in America can barrow food from other people or scrap together some money and buy food. In places like Africa, you can't just go down to the local grocery store with the little money you have because THEY DON'T EXIST!!!! You can't even find clean drinking water and yet even the poorest of the poor in this nation crap and pee into a gallon of clean water everytime they use the bathroom!!!!
    I agree, unless you have been there to see what poor really means, you really don't know. Those people over there are happy if they get a handful of rice or a gallon of clean water. Starving there really means starving. In the US and all other western countries kids have the privilege to get free education. The also have the option to persue their dream. I know what I am talking about, I have been there. Now I am here and I am so greatful for every little thing I have. Even if I don't have enough money to pay a bill and have to live without a TV or a phone for a month, that is still way more than the people in Africa or some parts of Asia will ever have. I thank God for that.
  3. by   destined2bCRNA
    carolinapooh:

    Maybe I was being a little hard on you, I don't know. It just saddens me because I am in most of the positions of those that you speak of just down the road from you. What disappoints me is that I know my background (no, I do not know yours), my children go through some of the same issues that you speak about. I live in the inner city with the gangs and violence. So, once again I have lived it and I am living it. This still does not deter me from doing work here- beginning with my children's friends, the prostitutes at the bus stop when I am waiting for the slow transit system to show up, or the rally for the Sudan walk at the federal plaza that takes place today (that unfortunately I could not take part in because of an injured ankle). Yet, I try to constantly drive it through my kids thick skulls that you have to care about PEOPLE, not just yourself or your own. I teach them that self preservation is the 1st law of nature, but you also have to have the concerns of ALL people in mind. There's always some help you can give to someone anywhere in the world. Even if I were not African American, I would still be as much affected by the atrocities in Africa as I am at this very moment. To see hundreds of thousands of babies being beheaded and dismembered, contorted bodies lying on the side of the road... it disgusts me. I have to scratch up money for dinner every week for my family- yet it still has not changed my mind or the initiative to teach my children that it's not just about us.
  4. by   destined2bCRNA
    Quote from kiyatylese
    I agree, unless you have been there to see what poor really means, you really don't know. Those people over there are happy if they get a handful of rice or a gallon of clean water. Starving there really means starving. In the US and all other western countries kids have the privilege to get free education. The also have the option to persue their dream. I know what I am talking about, I have been there. Now I am here and I am so greatful for every little thing I have. Even if I don't have enough money to pay a bill and have to live without a TV or a phone for a month, that is still way more than the people in Africa or some parts of Asia will ever have. I thank God for that.
    Amen. I couldn't have said it better myself. I have been homeless, I have starved, it's times I fed my children and assured them that I had eaten because I didn't want them to worry, I don't have a big fancy house, I have had a cold home in the past because I couldn't pay my gas bill, I can't remember the last time I had cable- the only reason why I have the internet is because my University requires it. And to say what about the fundraising here, what about the help here- I just don't understand that because every organization that I have been a part of in college has done nothing but to help all those here! I didn't mind, I was just somewhat offended that every project we worked on catered to the usual groups here, but did not address the AIDS epidemic in Africa that has killed thousands and have left even more as orphans. I don't know anymore... maybe it only bothers me so much because that is my heritage. But then again that still wouldn't explain why I do care about EVERYONE no matter what color or ethnicity. If anyone needs help I just try to give it. It's not a question for me, but I guess everybody ain't me
  5. by   carolinapooh
    Quote from kiyatylese
    I agree, unless you have been there to see what poor really means, you really don't know. Those people over there are happy if they get a handful of rice or a gallon of clean water. Starving there really means starving. In the US and all other western countries kids have the privilege to get free education. The also have the option to persue their dream. I know what I am talking about, I have been there. Now I am here and I am so greatful for every little thing I have. Even if I don't have enough money to pay a bill and have to live without a TV or a phone for a month, that is still way more than the people in Africa or some parts of Asia will ever have. I thank God for that.
    I'm sure everyone in this country feels they have equal opportunity to "persue their dream". I'm sure when you're starving or freezing to death that's your top priority. Talking about phone bills and cable television in relation to African aid is...well, I'll keep my mouth shut. A ROOF over your head is more than most of those people have, much less living without television. Not being able to pay a health insurance premium is a bit more dramatic than having your phone cut off.

    Ever been to Appalachia? I have. Volunteered up there with a church group. "Abject poverty" doesn't even touch what's up there. (And I can already imagine the comments this will generate - about how those folks choose that way of life. Please don't even say this.)

    Ever worked in a soup kitchen? I have.

    I've been to Mumbai - HORRIBLE, horrible stuff. People fighting dogs on the sidewalk for scraps. Cairo was no better. I think part of New Delhi was even worse.

    Riyadh, Saudi Arabia - a nation with no social welfare system AT ALL. Mentally ill and physically handicapped people living on the streets, selling miswak (a reed type plant that people chew during Ramadan because they can't use toothpaste) for a living. I used to buy it from the guy living in a fruit box in front of Jarir Bookstore over on Khurais Road when I lived there - I had no idea what to do with it, but I'd buy a piece and give him what amounts to a whopping amount of money over there for it. People living in cardboard boxes down by a mall that has a Harvey Nichols, where the Saudi princesses buy $500 shoes. Oh, wait - saw that in New York as well - and in Dallas - and in Oklahoma City. Oh, yeah - and here in Durham too.

    So I've seen it. Lived around the corner from it in a country with no zoning laws. How would some of you folks, tucked away in your little corner of suburbia, like it if homeless people were allowed to camp out right by your house? And they can't go to shelters; they don't exist.

    Trust me when I say there are people in this country who would KILL (and some do) for what most of us take for granted - and I'm not talking about telephones and cable TV. There are people here without clean water, with no food - and yet it seems that it's ignored here as well. Few people on this board will even address it. Folks are too busy accusing me of not caring about the rest of the world. Whatever.

    Just because our poor are "better off" than someone in sub-Saharan Africa doesn't mean it's OK. I doubt the poor of this nation feel "better off" when we drive past them in a warm car as they stand alone on the street corner in the middle of January.

    I still don't get it. I'm guessing you came to the US by choice and that's wonderful. I understand what's going on in the rest of the world, but PLEASE - doesn't anyone get there's problems here as well? Does it not annoy anyone else as much as it annoys me that PEOPLE ARE STARVING TO DEATH IN A COUNTRY THAT LITERALLY THROWS TONS OF FOOD AWAY? We produce infinitely more than we'll use - but it's tossed out. It's not even GIVEN away to anyone or any needy institution - it's THROWN OUT.

    Everyone is so quick to crucify me for saying it's not right that these problems do not receive the attention they deserve, while there are telethons for Africa. Doesn't that tell you something? Isn't there something wrong with having a telethon for another country while people here have the same problem - NO FOOD??

    And while we're at it, if we're so fantastic and everyone here has equal opportunity to pursue their dreams, why do we have so much poverty in the first place? What - these people are lazy? Uninspired? Lacking in ambition? Inevitable victims of a capitalist system? Or could it be because they just don't see any way out and don't know how to go about it?

    The same people sending money overseas are down in town meetings, screaming to prevent a homeless shelter from being built in their area or to have some abandoned building destroyed without trying to help the poor people who are calling it home. And they've done it - I've SEEN it. Durham is unfortunately a good example of it. Other communities around here are even worse for it.

    Programs have been attempted and have failed in this country - people throw their hands up and say, "there's nothing we can do - it's never going to change". It won't either, with that attitude. And turning our backs on it to the hip aid recipient of the moment won't do it either. We also cannot afford to close our eyes to what's going on around us, but we cannot police the world, either. It cannot be done. We couldn't do it in Vietnam, we screwed up the Gulf War, Afghanistan is a quagmire of its own, Korea I can't even discuss, and Iraq goes without saying. (Oh, and I'm a VETERAN, people - from a family full of them. Don't even start saying I'm slagging the military. It's WASHINGTON that ticks me off.)

    Why is it wrong to say we need to help ourselves? That we need to start focusing the same attention on ourselves that we're so generously giving to others? I'm being pilloried for saying we have to start cleaning up at home. We have to - we're destroying ourselves here. No one ever said or implied that giving to overseas nations is wrong - what I'm saying is that we need to start cleaning up our own messes. Cleaning up here will make it easier for us to help others. How are we setting any sort of an example?

    And yes, I'm taking it personal. I tried not to but I can't help it. Suddenly it became sport to say some of us (and I'm the only one here with an opinion on this so far) are cold. How is it OK to give billions of aid to the UN and the rest of the world, and then scratch our heads as to why there's people here struggling to survive in the supposed land of plenty? Doesn't that make us a bit hypocritical?

    What a MESS. Stick a fork in me - I am DONE.
    Last edit by carolinapooh on May 5, '07
  6. by   treeguy
    Quote from carolinapooh
    I resent being told I'm cold. So it's okay that kids are starving here? We hand out billions of aid a year to nations that not only despise us, but stab us in the back later on. And yet we wonder why on earth there's so much anger among inner-city youth, gang activity, violence, senseless murder - all in areas in this country rife with poverty, hunger, and homelessness. They're angry because no one's listening.

    I consider working for the betterment of my country NON VIOLENT DIRECT ACTION, thank you very much. No, a single NP in a free clinic in Durham can't change the world, but a single donation to Africa won't do it either. I too am passionate about what is happening in the world, I just find it incredible that people are quick to talk about "paramilitary groups" and don't seem to want to hear about American kids freezing in the dead of winter as they sit in their $200K homes, surrounded by the luxuries and trappings of suburban living.

    Not YOU. US. WE THE PEOPLE.

    Who are we to claim to be saviors of the world when we can't save ourselves? THAT is what I'm talking about. I think it takes some hubris to say "let's save Africa" when we're not paying any attention to stuff here. We put WAAAAYYYY too much faith in blue-blooded politicians in Washington who obviously have no idea what they're doing, what's really going on, or what to do about it, because their answers are comprised of disasters like their latest near fiasco, Medicare Part D. Oh, Washington'll handle it - let's save the rest of the world. This has never worked before, and it ain't working now.

    And look at what I'm saying - I didn't say YOU specifically. I said WE - WE as a nation, with our NIMBY attitudes and turned-up noses. I see it every day here in Durham - oh, let's send money to Africa, but let's not talk about the homeless people over at Genesis Home (if they even know what Genesis Home is, let alone that it exists). A starving kid over on Guess Road doesn't know a thing about paramilitary groups, he or she only knows THEY'RE HUNGRY and there's a dearth of people who seem to care. I'm saying WE as a nation - it's what I said in the original post - WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT WE'RE FAILING OUR OWN PEOPLE. We can't seem to straighten out this mess, so let's go overseas and see if we can fix theirs? Uh-uh - I don't think it works that way. No wonder inner city Detroit is PO'd.

    So the problems in the US pale in comparison to the rest of the world. True on many levels, but I'd bet a single mom with four kids working three jobs with no health coverage who hasn't eaten a decent meal in three days because she's working her butt off to feed and clothe her kids who don't qualify for Medicaid would disagree. IT HAPPENS.

    No one even suggested that the world's problems are not ours. Heck, there's a good shot we helped CREATE some of them. But we've created quite a few here as well. Why not more fund raisers for that? It's like it's not cool or hip to help folks in your back yard - and I think that's a big problem. "We Are The World" was great - but why not "WE ARE THE PEOPLE"? Because we are. I've met people who don't want to hear about homeless veterans, but they're working for the starving somewhere else. Huh?

    It makes no sense to me. But if you think I'm cold, when you don't know me and you have no idea what I do with my time or my money, then I'm not the one with the problem. People should not be so quick to judge another's viewpoint or opinion, because that is clearly what's happened here.
    Sorry if I came off as judgemental, sister. Thats not how I want to be. All I am trying to say is that there are people who need to go to africa and help them and there are people who need to help others here. There are native tribes who are still living in poverty and at the same time they have to worry about the government kicking them off there land.

    The paramilitary groups are a reality. Sorry, but if being poor is our only problem then we still are living a good life. There is great injustice in America but you need to understand that it is not as bad as it in in other places in the world.

    The point is this (and I will continue to drive this home). WE HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR OUR PROBLEMS IN AMERICA. Our politicians don't give a crap about any of us but if you force them too then they will. If we stand up and demand that universal health care becomes a reality or that all the food that is thrown away every day is distributed to the poor then we can make those changes. If we don't demand those things then they will never happen? That is how democracy works. There is a story about Benjamin Franklin being approached by a women and asked about what kind of government he gave us. He said "a democracy but only if you can keep it." He meant that democracy will not work without the people getting involved. If we do not demand change then change will never happen.

    Thats the point, in america we could still stand for the rights of the poor if we really wanted to... people in Africa can not. You have no idea how much impact one single person can make on the world.

    I don't give a crap about making a lot of money but then again I do not have a family. As a nurse, I would suspect that everyone would want to do this to help people and make the world a better place but being it is also such a high paying job.
  7. by   destined2bCRNA
    treeguy- you just continue to amaze me!-

    The paramilitary groups are a reality. Sorry, but if being poor is our only problem then we still are living a good life. There is great injustice in America but you need to understand that it is not as bad as it in in other places in the world-

    You are so right. Maybe I'm just not conveying it as well as you? I'm not saying that things here need to be ignored- but things here don't need to be the ONLY focus either. If I've went through the issues that have been posted here, why do I still care about others? It seems as if the constant and ONLY defense here is the "what about us, what about us, what about us" speech, and the "we're hungry, we're hungry, we're hungry" speech. But it still is not being taken into consideration that although it's harder for us to get some things here, it is not IMPOSSIBLE. I could not afford all the immunizations and blood titers, etc. for nursing school and my University had no soloution for me other than to rescind my offer if not completed, but after a little bit of calling around as usual I found a free clinic that gave me everything I needed for NS AND ran additional tests just because I had a caring doctor that was concerned that I had no regular physician nor had been to a family medical doctor in years. I'd like to see that happen in another country. "I have no insurance but just let me call around for a bit to see who is willing to give me free medical care"- 1 day and 7 hours in the waiting room later... okay, all done. This is just not about being hungry- this (as I thought had something to do with the role of a nurse) is about medical care as well. We may not have medical insurance, but there's free clinics EVERYWHERE. We may not have medical insurance, but in an emergency we can rush to our neighborhood hospital, we may not have as much food as we want and are throwing out food everyday (which is my personal pet peeve as well), but we are somewhat secure in not having to worry about just what we have to eat, but having to worry about our doors being kicked down and our husbands killed, our women raped, and our children dismembered in front of our faces- and not having anyone but God to turn to because there are a slew of people elsewhere that feel "we have to make sure we are 100% Ok before we can help you- cuz you know we're pretty hungry too".
  8. by   carolinapooh
    Quote from destined2bCRNA
    treeguy- you just continue to amaze me!-

    We may not have medical insurance, but there's free clinics EVERYWHERE. We may not have medical insurance, but in an emergency we can rush to our neighborhood hospital, we may not have as much food as we want and are throwing out food everyday (which is my personal pet peeve as well), but we are somewhat secure in not having to worry about just what we have to eat, but having to worry about our doors being kicked down and our husbands killed, our women raped, and our children dismembered in front of our faces- and not having anyone but God to turn to because there are a slew of people elsewhere that feel "we have to make sure we are 100% Ok before we can help you- cuz you know we're pretty hungry too".
    Uh, there aren't free clinics everywhere.

    Rushing to the hospital is part of the problem.

    Plenty of people in this country live in fear in the inner cities. Ask a mother whose two year old was shot in a drive by about that.

    No one here has ever said what you're quoting. Talk to some people in a shelter here and perhaps you'll gain more of an appreciation for the problem.
  9. by   destined2bCRNA
    Quote from carolinapooh
    Uh, there aren't free clinics everywhere.

    Rushing to the hospital is part of the problem.

    Plenty of people in this country live in fear in the inner cities. Ask a mother whose two year old was shot in a drive by about that.

    No one here has ever said what you're quoting. Talk to some people in a shelter here and perhaps you'll gain more of an appreciation for the problem.
    Compared to other countries, there is a clinic EVERYWHERE. It may be a long drive away, but you can get it. Now, I tried to understand you and even felt that I was being a little hard on you, but huh? Talk to who???? Appreciate what?? Have you been reading?? Been there- live it now in case you're skipping over what is being said in these posts. HAVE YOU BEEN THERE? Not as a witness, but as a victim??? ONCE AGAIN, I live in the inner city sweetie. Within the last 3 months there has been a child killed 1 block from me, 2 kids killed 2 blocks from (their mother's throat slashed and put in a burning van), 2 girls throats slashed (the youngest trying to save her sister from being raped by her boyfriend's father), my son was hit in the head with a gun and his shoes and coat given to him for Christmas (that is all that I could afford to give him) snatched off his back in the middle of the street, I could go on, and on, and on. Oh- and come May 19th of this year- it will make it 1 year exactly that I went before the courts for an incident that 2 men came into MY house, locked MY front door, tied ME up, stole from me and attempted to rape me before I began coughing like I was having some sort of attack (learned that one on the Oprah show)- so I don't think I need to talk to anyone. And I thought I was being too hard on you. Go figure.
  10. by   dudenurse1962
    When I was younger I wanted to help people to "give back". My thinking was to go to impoverished areas or the inner city or basically to find people less fortunate then myself. I was not very effective because I thought people had to be "educated" on how to act, and what to believe. It was humbling to learn that many people less fortunate then me would probably be more effective then me if they had the same opportunity and privileges that I have had.
    I am far more effective now that Ive gotten over myself. I just try my best to do my job, learn from my mistakes and learn from others who really do seem to have a leg up on me in the character department. When I started listening to my preceptors and asking other nurses for help, I slowly became some one who actually can make a difference. I also found that people who seem to have everything going for them can be blindsided by circumstance and end up needing assistence.
    My wife and I are both nurses and we muttle through each day trying to do what is best for our kids. My son has was diagnosed with Aspergars syndrome. He requires frequent redirection because of behavior issues. People are generally nonjudgemental and helpfull but periodically I catch someone looking at us like we are bad parents. They remind me of me when I was a clueless twentysomething.
    Last edit by dudenurse1962 on May 5, '07
  11. by   luvmy3kids
    I can honestly say, I am going into nursing because it is something I've always wanted to do. I'm doing it for myself... My husband makes enough money to support our family very comfortably. I've been very lucky because I have been able to stay home with all 3 kids now (with the exception of one year) for the last 8 years.

    Nursing is just something I've always wanted to do. I want to work with babies and if they want to pay me for it... that is just an added bonus!
    I feel really lucky and really blessed!

    Good luck to you! You have a lot of great ideas on your plate. My aunt is an RN who travels to Africa once a year to help the villagers with their water pipeline that they are working to build. She aids and advises them on safe water usage among many other wonderful things. She has said it is the greatest experience and she is hoping to live there for a year or so and just do what she can to help them out.

    It sure takes a special person!
  12. by   carolinapooh
    Quote from destined2bCRNA
    Compared to other countries, there is a clinic EVERYWHERE. It may be a long drive away, but you can get it. Now, I tried to understand you and even felt that I was being a little hard on you, but huh? Talk to who???? Appreciate what?? Have you been reading?? Been there- live it now in case you're skipping over what is being said in these posts. HAVE YOU BEEN THERE? Not as a witness, but as a victim??? ONCE AGAIN, I live in the inner city sweetie. Within the last 3 months there has been a child killed 1 block from me, 2 kids killed 2 blocks from (their mother's throat slashed and put in a burning van), 2 girls throats slashed (the youngest trying to save her sister from being raped by her boyfriend's father), my son was hit in the head with a gun and his shoes and coat given to him for Christmas (that is all that I could afford to give him) snatched off his back in the middle of the street, I could go on, and on, and on. Oh- and come May 19th of this year- it will make it 1 year exactly that I went before the courts for an incident that 2 men came into MY house, locked MY front door, tied ME up, stole from me and attempted to rape me before I began coughing like I was having some sort of attack (learned that one on the Oprah show)- so I don't think I need to talk to anyone. And I thought I was being too hard on you. Go figure.
    I may be a lot of things, but I'm not your sweetie. So do not call me that again, please.

    And if you don't have a car, I doubt you'll be driving to a free clinic anywhere.

    And if you've lived there, you should know what I'm talking about. Oprah? Be serious. You've had a horrible experience - which only proves my point. Conditions such as that need to be addressed. Paramilitary groups in other countries are irrelevant to people who have had experiences such as yours. Why aren't people more interested in your problems and experiences? I don't know - it's part of my point.

    Once again, someone's jumped to a generalist conclusion. Why on earth are you so angry with me because I think more should be done to help people that were in your situation?? And who am I "talking to" and "appreciating"? In all seriousness, and with all due respect, I'm completely confused.
    Last edit by carolinapooh on May 5, '07
  13. by   destined2bCRNA
    luvmy3kids-
    Through all this madness, you have been able to bring a little light. I feel you have possibly made a point here that has not been addressed and I feel the same way. You want to work with babies and that is an added "bonus". That is the same way I feel. I want to help people and being a nurse is an added "bonus".

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