sometimes your worst critic can be your own self.. - page 2

does anyone else agree? for the past couple semesters i have been so hard on myself..i dont know if it has to do with the fact that im wanting to get into nursing or what. but i mean like, well for... Read More

  1. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    Quote from Achoo!
    LOL boy can I relate! 2 of the MD's and one NP that I work with have asked me if I wanted to go for my MD. I told them that at this stage in my life with 2 kids and such, I'd never make it through residency!! Then they pushed NP or PA. It's like, come on, lets get through the ADN first, then look at BSN, MSN etc.. LOL

    I'd become a FNP, not a PA. ....that's my 2 cents.
  2. by   stpauligirl
    Quote from Woogy
    That is exactly what happens to me with my hubby! I tell him I think I did poor on a test, I'm all depressed, and he just laughs at me. I get no sympathy from my family. It has to do with the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"!! I've never (yet) gotten less than an A on any test since my 1st biology test, well maybe one A&P was a B if I remember right, so I see my hubby's view, but all I want is some love... Funny thing is when I think I bombed it, I usually end up with a HIGH A. It's the ones that you think you did well on that bite ya. I thought I did well on our last Micro test, so I was sure I bombed it! I've proved the jinx wrong...I got a 96%!! The problem is that now my family thinks I am a brain, so there...now I have more pressure! I don't want them to lose their dillusions of me . I still feel like an idiot. The other mailmen at my hubby's work (post office) tease him that I'm going to leave him for someone smarter !

    Woogy
    It doesn't surprise me that your husband gets teased by his co-workers, lots of guys get ugly if women become educated, and might be able to earn more money than them. It's a real threat to them. I don't have time to chitchat with my neighbor anymore, a guy who currently has no occupation.....he acts weird lately....he is not as friendly anymore because I don't have time for him as I used to. You go to school and it changes everything, your friends will change. Some people just cannot handle it if someone pursues higher education. They'll do anything to harrass you about it, "Oh, we don't see you anymore...."don't kill yourself"....."but you could come out on the weekends at least"....and they ring the doorbell after you have told them more than on one occasion that you have to study all the time.....
    I am an outsider in my neighborhood but that's ok. They don't matter, when we had a crisis in our family a while ago nobody tried to help....Sorry to butt in like that but it just hit a nerve!
  3. by   smk1
    i got in for spring of 2006, but let me tell you i was CONVINCED that i didn't have a prayer of getting in and would be lucky to make the fall 06 alternate list. I have to get an A also, and if that A is not high enough i get depressed. I have gotten better over the past year, but i got a 94 on our Micro group paper ( i hate group projects), and I was so irritated because i felt like if it were just my work it would have been a 96 or higher. 2-4 points and i was irritated! In any case epople just don't understand that it is very difficult to get inot a lot of these nursing programs, they think nurses are a dime a dozen and you just go to the community college and "enroll" into the program and immediately will be seen at the hospital doing clinicals and will be done in a year! They are constantly asking why a "nurse needs to know xyz" nobody asks why a doctor needs to know xyz! In any case try to give yourself a bit of a break becaue noone is perfect. Life happens, people get sick, some instructors are not the best etc... I still expect A's out of myself now and get them, but i have learned not to make myself cry and get physically ill at seeing "lower" A's or even gasp a B (as long as my final grade is an A!) but I know come spring 06 i will be right back to stressing over anything less than perfect... sigh!
  4. by   linsm
    I did that in the 80's. I took on too much while working 2 jobs. Then had some other things going on. I literally became ill. It is now, 2005, I am 52 years old and never finished college for anything. I am always afraid of failing and when I didn't pull the perfect score, I beat myself up. Setting up expections from yourself, can be the road to doom. Relax and take it easy. You are not going to always get a 100. Look at is this way:

    1. Students know alot and only get C on tests. Some are not test takers, yet they know and understand the material better than those who got the A on the test.

    2. A college grad once said, there was a course that I got a C in and the others were A's. I learned more in the course that I got the C than those I did the A.

    3. Most of the grades rely on test scores. If one knows how to take tests well, usually do better than those who study, study and study.

    I worked with R.N. who had just passed her State Boards. She went to irrigate a NG tube with 50cc of Saline, which was what she was suppose to do and that was proper. However, she was, thank god, caught before she dumped 50cc Saline down a T-Tube instead of the NG tube. If she had not been caught, 50cc of Saline would have gone into the patients lungs. She could have killed the patient. HOWEVER, SHE GOT THE PASSING SCORE ON HER NURSING BOARDS!!! SO WHAT DOES A PASSING SCORE, A HIGH TEST SCORE MEAN WHEN YOU ARE DEALING WITH LIFE AND DEATH??????
    Sweetie, learn to be a nurse, learn the skills that you need. Don't worry about some science test as long as you pass it. Believe me, the nursing boards do not ask you to identify a cell. Learn the math. Learn how to put in an I.V. correctly and how to maintain it correctly so that you do not have to replace an IV every day on the same patient because of infiltration, blowing out etc, which is, even though not all of the time, improper placement and care. Learn your meds, doctors do make mistakes in orders. Good Luck!!!
  5. by   stpauligirl
    Quote from SMK1
    i got in for spring of 2006, but let me tell you i was CONVINCED that i didn't have a prayer of getting in and would be lucky to make the fall 06 alternate list. I have to get an A also, and if that A is not high enough i get depressed. I have gotten better over the past year, but i got a 94 on our Micro group paper ( i hate group projects), and I was so irritated because i felt like if it were just my work it would have been a 96 or higher. 2-4 points and i was irritated! In any case epople just don't understand that it is very difficult to get inot a lot of these nursing programs, they think nurses are a dime a dozen and you just go to the community college and "enroll" into the program and immediately will be seen at the hospital doing clinicals and will be done in a year! They are constantly asking why a "nurse needs to know xyz" nobody asks why a doctor needs to know xyz! In any case try to give yourself a bit of a break becaue noone is perfect. Life happens, people get sick, some instructors are not the best etc... I still expect A's out of myself now and get them, but i have learned not to make myself cry and get physically ill at seeing "lower" A's or even gasp a B (as long as my final grade is an A!) but I know come spring 06 i will be right back to stressing over anything less than perfect... sigh!
    Congrats on getting in :hatparty:
    Alot of people don't have a clue how hard these classes are and that these programs are extremely competitive. Tehy don't understand that C's don't cut it and are under the assumption that "as long as you pass the class" you are ok. It irritates me that they always ask, "when are you done....you should be done by now....(I am taking prereqs and have a few of these hardcore science classes left and do them one at a time uhoh3: )
    Didn't someone ignorant say to me the other day:"you don't work you SHOULD make 100"!
  6. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    Well said, linsm.

    (Welcome to AllNurses.com!)
    Are you going back to school now?
    If so, good luck!


    Quote from linsm
    I did that in the 80's. I took on too much while working 2 jobs. Then had some other things going on. I literally became ill. It is now, 2005, I am 52 years old and never finished college for anything. I am always afraid of failing and when I didn't pull the perfect score, I beat myself up. Setting up expections from yourself, can be the road to doom. Relax and take it easy. You are not going to always get a 100. Look at is this way:

    1. Students know alot and only get C on tests. Some are not test takers, yet they know and understand the material better than those who got the A on the test.

    2. A college grad once said, there was a course that I got a C in and the others were A's. I learned more in the course that I got the C than those I did the A.

    3. Most of the grades rely on test scores. If one knows how to take tests well, usually do better than those who study, study and study.

    I worked with R.N. who had just passed her State Boards. She went to irrigate a NG tube with 50cc of Saline, which was what she was suppose to do and that was proper. However, she was, thank god, caught before she dumped 50cc Saline down a T-Tube instead of the NG tube. If she had not been caught, 50cc of Saline would have gone into the patients lungs. She could have killed the patient. HOWEVER, SHE GOT THE PASSING SCORE ON HER NURSING BOARDS!!! SO WHAT DOES A PASSING SCORE, A HIGH TEST SCORE MEAN WHEN YOU ARE DEALING WITH LIFE AND DEATH??????
    Sweetie, learn to be a nurse, learn the skills that you need. Don't worry about some science test as long as you pass it. Believe me, the nursing boards do not ask you to identify a cell. Learn the math. Learn how to put in an I.V. correctly and how to maintain it correctly so that you do not have to replace an IV every day on the same patient because of infiltration, blowing out etc, which is, even though not all of the time, improper placement and care. Learn your meds, doctors do make mistakes in orders. Good Luck!!!
  7. by   bluesky
    You know grades never stressed me out too much. I never really believed them to be the ultimate measure of either my intelligence, my competence, or my intrinsic value as a human being. Maybe that's because I am the daughter of two Yale educated PhDs, one of whom isn't really all that smart!!!
    Getting out and experiencing the world (travel, men, activism) was always more fascinating to me than staying home to memorize every single detail of OB nursing (99.9% of which I was never going to use again as an ICU nurse).

    All that said, I tended to do well anyway so I got labeled a smart, geeky chic even though I never studied more than a couple hours for any test in nursing school.

    I do relate to the title of this thread in another way, though. When I got onto my SICU unit as a new grad, I was very intimidated and insecure. I was actually pretty competent but I wanted to be very safe so I asked someone about every move I made and was overly self-deprecating about it in a contrived effort to appear humble; and the whole thing blew up in my face because the image I projected was of a person who had little confidence and even less knowledge. It took me several months to dig myself out of that one, let me tell you! In the meantime, other nurses who projected confidence made some pretty major mistakes that compromised pt safety directly. Eventually, I became cocky like them and about 1.5 yrs into the whole thing, I made my first and only med error which didn't hurt the pt but it
    was and error nonetheless. The moral of the story being... keep your criticism of yourself to yourself... but maintain that level of vigilance that comes naturally with your personality type. This strategy will not fail you, I promise.
  8. by   Tweety
    I worked my butt off in school and accepted whatever grade I got. I certainly wouldn't beat myself up over a 95. But I wanted A's. I graduated with a dreadful 3.8. I'm about to loose my current 4.0 in my RN to BSN program. I made a dreadful 86 on the first test, and I was amazed it didn't bother me too much. I"m just irrittated that I'm loosing it in a course like Western Civ. and not a tough nursing course.

    I truly feel for you guys in pre-reqs in competitive programs.

    Anyway, in so many other areas of my life I beat myself up and have always been my worst critic. I've gotten better over the years, but still to it.
    Last edit by Tweety on Nov 20, '05
  9. by   Fun2, RN, BSN
    Not a single person in this world has the ability to take another person's education as serious as the individual student is able to.

    Each person has to be an extremely judgemental self-critic because as much as other people can hope, dream, and in some instances, even demand, that another person gets an education, the student is the one who has to be determined to do well.
  10. by   linsm
    In Philadelephia, one must have a 2.75 in the academics to even have a chance to be accepted, which means that they compete agains 3.5 and higher. This is unfair, due to the ones who may have a higher GPA but have no idea as to what nursing is really about and then drop-out after taking a spot someone who knows the field and truly wants to be a nurse.

    Don't work hu?? Bad, Bad Bad! Well, I am going back to college in January again for the 5th time. Unfortunately, I have to work and go to school. For students who do not have paying jobs, they are fortunate in the sense that they can devote their time to their studies full-time and do the overtime, even if it is without pay. Either way, it is hard! For those with the crude comments: Let them try to do what you are doing and then they are qualified to make their comments. Science is not easy. Lab time is difficult to get outside of scheduled class time as I remember. When I took A&P, class lecture was on one thing, and the lab was directed elsewhere, so that alone was like taking two separate classes along with the others. Yes, you are a smart student. Those pre-req grades are important and some you must have prior to actual nursing course which include your clinicals. Sometimes, you have to only take one, especially things like microbiology, chemistry and anatomy and physiology and/or math courses if one is weak in math or even sciences. They are heavy duty courses, as the nursing courses are. Don't let others get you down. Sounds like you are doing great!

    I never got to go on to Nursing and wound up for years as a Home Health Aid, a CNA, Telemetry Technician and now a Medical Secretary/Transcriptionist.

    School is frustrating and it does carry pressure.
    Some programs are very competitive and that means a demand for high grades to get in. We worry over every little point we lose.

    Others, who have no idea, can bring you down. Stop them dead in their tracks.

    You are working full-time. Tell them that you put more time in school and study than those who work the paying job, so that you will be qualified and highly skilled so that you can take care of them with their pious attitude when they end up in the hospital. Sometimes, people are jealous, and sometimes they truly think it is easy, like going to high school.

    Ask one of the nurses in here who have worked night shift. People think that they are suppose to be up out of bed bright and cheery like the day workers, in other words people do not understand one who works nights, day and night for them is in reverse, so getting home at 8am and sleeping to 5pm is a normal work 8 hours and sleep 8 hours.

    Do what you have to do to achieve your goal. Dont let others discourage you, in fact when they try to, ask them to register and join you in your classes since it is so easy.
  11. by   stpauligirl
    Quote from linsm
    In Philadelephia, one must have a 2.75 in the academics to even have a chance to be accepted, which means that they compete agains 3.5 and higher. This is unfair, due to the ones who may have a higher GPA but have no idea as to what nursing is really about and then drop-out after taking a spot someone who knows the field and truly wants to be a nurse.

    Don't work hu?? Bad, Bad Bad! Well, I am going back to college in January again for the 5th time. Unfortunately, I have to work and go to school. For students who do not have paying jobs, they are fortunate in the sense that they can devote their time to their studies full-time and do the overtime, even if it is without pay. Either way, it is hard! For those with the crude comments: Let them try to do what you are doing and then they are qualified to make their comments. Science is not easy. Lab time is difficult to get outside of scheduled class time as I remember. When I took A&P, class lecture was on one thing, and the lab was directed elsewhere, so that alone was like taking two separate classes along with the others. Yes, you are a smart student. Those pre-req grades are important and some you must have prior to actual nursing course which include your clinicals. Sometimes, you have to only take one, especially things like microbiology, chemistry and anatomy and physiology and/or math courses if one is weak in math or even sciences. They are heavy duty courses, as the nursing courses are. Don't let others get you down. Sounds like you are doing great!

    I never got to go on to Nursing and wound up for years as a Home Health Aid, a CNA, Telemetry Technician and now a Medical Secretary/Transcriptionist.

    School is frustrating and it does carry pressure.
    Some programs are very competitive and that means a demand for high grades to get in. We worry over every little point we lose.

    Others, who have no idea, can bring you down. Stop them dead in their tracks.

    You are working full-time. Tell them that you put more time in school and study than those who work the paying job, so that you will be qualified and highly skilled so that you can take care of them with their pious attitude when they end up in the hospital. Sometimes, people are jealous, and sometimes they truly think it is easy, like going to high school.

    Ask one of the nurses in here who have worked night shift. People think that they are suppose to be up out of bed bright and cheery like the day workers, in other words people do not understand one who works nights, day and night for them is in reverse, so getting home at 8am and sleeping to 5pm is a normal work 8 hours and sleep 8 hours.

    Do what you have to do to achieve your goal. Dont let others discourage you, in fact when they try to, ask them to register and join you in your classes since it is so easy.
    You summed it up wonderfully, thank you, keeps me going :heartbeat
  12. by   Turd.Ferguson
    Quote from stpauligirl
    It doesn't surprise me that your husband gets teased by his co-workers, lots of guys get ugly if women become educated, and might be able to earn more money than them. It's a real threat to them...
    If I ever do get married, I hope she is a heck of a lot smarter than me and earns a lot more money than I ever will!!!!
  13. by   RENAISSANCE RN
    I know. I suffer from Great expectations as well.


    Doing my best not to though.

    happy holidays,

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