"Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad." This quote is relevant to the journey I went through in the process of obtaining my associates of pre nursing. The road was long, at times rough, and full of discovery. I had come from a home where abuse from my mother was prevelant after time went on the abuse went from scars on my body as a young child to scars within my heart as an adult. Words such as "you will never make it" , " you think one day you could call yourself a nurse", and "I will watch you fall" were constant reminders in the back of my head. The abuse was daily and each day came with new words of hatred.
I began my journey my senior year of high school as a running start student where if you had passed the college entrance exam you could take classes at the local community college and earn dual credits. I had managed at the age of 17 how to handle college course load, high school courseload, and a full time position. Things had gotten more difficult as I entered college my second year right after high school. My mom had gotten into more fits of rage and continued the abuse that I had endured previously. The verbal harassment came along with times of physical abuse as well.Unfortunately this led to a downfall in my performance seen within my transcripts. I had been stripped away of every ounce of confidence, most happiness, and the hope within myself as this person brought me down. I had experienced anxiety attacks one in particular that had led me to the ER. The doctor questioned me many times before getting the truth behind my anxiety and led me to what I would consider my angel. I had a followup appointment with my doctor whom after counseling sessions, a few refferals, words of encouragement, and support had helped me to achieve this confidence I thought had been lost forever. The nurses were so supportive, caring, kind, thoughtful and told me to never give up within my dreams and how to overcome this time in my life. Just when I had thought about giving up on my dream as a nurse these men and women reassured me on everything nursing stood for and how I could help others the same way they had helped me.
With this new found confidence I took charge and decided to make a change in this cycle. I separated myself from the hateful situation. I had retaken classes that I had not done well in and excelled. I took a position 45 minutes away from my home as a health information management representative within a medical clinic to gain experience within the hospital and have learned vast amounts of information. I had received my certified nursing assistant certification, as well as my H.I.V/AIDS training, and CPR certification. I am soon to start volunteering at a hospital affiliated with my workplace to gain even more experience in a different department of the hospital. I have completed extra credits not needed for my degree to become more knowledgable and prepare me more for the field of nursing. I have discovered through this long journey that although nursing schools are competitive and at times we believe schools wants us to be the "perfect" student with no hardships it is the hardships that will make us greater nurses. I have become confident, personable, caring, and will be able to relate to many people who have gone through the same abuse I have. My ultimate goal after obtaining my BSN is to join the United States Air Force and become a nurse as well as fight for our country. I would like to support soldiers who would have gone through the same abuse as well as their families. Where many would have given up and stopped school I made a difference in my life, fought on, and continued and strived for excellence. Without the nurses and staff at the hospital whom had helped me so much I would have given up on my dream forever. This school I believe will be able to make me carry on my goals and become the best nurse I could be. I am proud of the difference in my life and am confident in what I could bring the the nursing community. Thank you