Nursing school application essay

  1. 0
    what do you guys think of my essay? please comment it would be greatly appreciated! thanks!

    When we look up the word “nurse” in the dictionary, we will read something like “somebody who cares for a sick person.” Thinking about it seems easy; however, I believe that there is more into nursing than that simple definition. Being a nurse is a very influential and rewarding profession. Nurses care for people through illness, injury, pain, loss, dying, grieving, birth, growth, aging and health. They not only care for people through illness, but they also promote health, prevent diseases and educate the public.
    We all know that nursing is a field that is concerned with helping people, yet I believe that in becoming a nurse, a person needs more than that desire to succeed. It is essential for a nurse to be open, strong, determined, thoughtful and caring. These qualities would reflect on the nurse and would make caring for the patient easier.
    I believe that I belong to this field because ever since a child I always wanted to make a positive influence in peoples lives. I always felt the need to care for someone since I know that I have the power and the choice to do so. Growing up in the Philippines has greatly influenced my desire to care for people. All throughout my life, I see all different kinds of people in poverty, may it be infants, children, elderly people and even disabled people. Everyday I would see them on the streets begging others for money just so they could treat their ailing relatives. Whenever I see them, I felt so weak. I wanted to help them, yet I didn’t know how since I was just a child. It wasn’t until I moved here in the United States that I realized that nursing is truly the right profession for me. Moving here made me realize how other countries like the Philippines are in great need of health care. It made me more aware of the situation and now that I am more mature, I know that I could my part to help the situation. Becoming a nurse wouldn’t get rid of poverty; however, it would at least help some people who are suffering. Another reason for my decision to become a nurse is my sister, who is a nursing assistant. She suggested that I become one. Her stories from the hospital just inspired me and made me realize that nursing is truly for me. She says that the feeling of giving yourself to a complete stranger in their greatest time of need is like no other feeling on earth.
    I truly believe that I am suited to become a nurse. I am honest and open to communication, and these are also important traits that a nurse needs. Nurses are the main communication link between the patient and the doctor. They also often interact with family members by being empathetic to their loved one’s illness. Personally, having the opportunity to impact someone everyday is very powerful. The words I use, my actions, and my attitude can help another human being to heal and that is something that I will remember all throughout my life. Nursing is one of the few careers that does not only help others but it also helps yourself. It is a profession that is exciting, ever changing, diverse, and allows opportunity for learning something new everyday. The work is tough but in the end of the day, I will say that this is that path that I chose and I am proud of it, then I will remember that feeling of helping a complete stranger and at that moment, I will feel rewarded.
  2. Get our hottest student topics delivered to your inbox.

  3. 85,512 Visits
    Find Similar Topics
  4. 14 Comments so far...

  5. 0
    what is your prompt for the essay?

    I would take out the beginning part, you don't need to describe what a nurse is. I would also put something in about why you would be a good nursing student and not why you want to be a nurse. They are going to admit you to a program based on your chances of making it through and passing NCLEX. So what qualities do you have that will ensure your success?

    But then again, this all sort of depends on what your prompt for the essay is.
  6. 0
    It depends on what the school is looking for.I would start out with a short Bio. Then I would write about why I want to become a nurse, then I would kiss their butts a little and mention why I have "chosen" their school to persue my goal. That can simply be done by looking up the schools mission statement philosophy and work it into your essay(in your own words). Can finish with" I dont want to just be a nurse , I want to be a graduate of "school name" school of nursing " Yours is a good essay, but I might rearrange your essay to put your Bio first and edit the first 2 paragraphs into the 1 paragraph and make that the middle..the conclusion can be the more personal "why I want to be a nurse and why I chose your school." Good luck and let me know how you do!!! I agree that you need to tell them why you will be a good candidate for their program..Its good, but It gives the appearance of a speech. Who you are, why you want to be a nurse , why you chose thier school and why you are a good candidate for their program
    Last edit by trepinCT on Jan 5, '07 : Reason: add
  7. 0
    Since I was returning to school for a second career, I thought it would be important for them to know why I had chose to pursue nursing, what it would mean to me, and what I thought I could bring to the nursing profession.

    I think trepinCT had some great feedback on your essay. I sent mine in a few months ago, but it was composed in practically the same order as trepinCT mentions.
  8. 0
    Thank you so much for your suggestions! I really appreciate it! It helped me a lot. This is my revision, please tell me what you think.

    We all know that nursing is a field that is concerned with helping people, yet I believe that in becoming a nurse, a person needs more than that desire to succeed. It is essential for a nurse to be open, strong, determined, thoughtful and caring. These qualities would reflect on the nurse and would make caring for the patient easier. I believe that I belong to this field because ever since a child I always wanted to make a positive influence in peoples lives. I always felt the need to care for someone since I know that I have the power and the choice to do so.
    Growing up in the Philippines has greatly influenced my desire to care for people. All throughout my life, I see all different kinds of people in poverty, may it be infants, children, elderly people and even disabled people. Everyday I would see them on the streets begging others for money just so they could treat their ailing relatives. Whenever I see them, I felt so weak. I wanted to help them, yet I didn’t know how since I was just a child. It wasn’t until I moved here in the United States that I realized that nursing is truly the right profession for me. Moving here made me realize how other countries like the Philippines are in great need of health care. It made me more aware of the situation and now that I am more mature, I know that I could do my part to help the situation. Becoming a nurse wouldn’t get rid of poverty; however, it would at least help some people who are suffering.
    I would have chosen to become a doctor, yet I believe that being one would make me feel numb about the patients feelings and be more concerned with treating their diseases. I chose nursing because this allows me to interact more with people. When we look up the word “nurse” in the dictionary, we will read something like “somebody who cares for a sick person.” I believe that there is more into that simple definition. Nursing is a very powerful profession, it allows people to influence and touch lives. I am very willing to achieve this big responsibility. I am eager to be there for the patients through illness, injury pain, loss, grieving, birth, growth, aging and health.
    Another reason for my decision to become a nurse is my sister, who is a nursing assistant. She suggested that I become one. Her stories from the hospital just inspired me and made me realize that nursing is truly for me. She says that the feeling of giving yourself to a complete stranger in their greatest time of need is like no other feeling on earth. I am very eager to care for someone and experience that great feeling. I felt that I was helpless for some time, and I believe that now is the time to be there for others and help them through their challenging times.
    I truly believe that I am suited to become a nurse. I am open and honest to communication, and these are also important traits that a nurse needs. Nurses are the main communication link between the patient and the doctor. They also often interact with family members by being empathetic to their loved one’s illness. Personally, having the opportunity to impact someone everyday is very powerful. The words I use, my actions, and my attitude can help another human being to heal and that is something that I will remember all throughout my life. Nursing is one of the few careers that does not only help others but also helps yourself. It is a profession that is exciting, ever changing, diverse, and allows opportunity for learning something new everyday. I chose the College of Health Professions of Temple University because I believe that this would significantly educate and prepare me for my future in nursing. The College of Health Professions also stands out as a national leader in the education of health professionals. I am very pleased with my experience as a Temple undergraduate and I believe that the College of Health Professions would be consistent with that or be even better. Being a nurse is tough, but in the end of the day, I will say that this is that path that I chose and I am proud of it, then I will remember that feeling of helping a complete stranger and at that moment, I will feel rewarded.
  9. 0
    better..is there a min word requirement for your essay?? Try to be more brief, I was given advice from a few instructors and directors of nursing schools and they said to keep it brief.and avoid defining "nurse".keep it as I mentioned before..who you are,why you want to be a nurse,why you chose their school and why you are a good candidate for their program. It would even help for you to show your essay to a writing professor at your school. Did you already take composition? Maybe ask that professor to check it out, even your College counselor can look over your essay..


    You have the skill to write a great essay, you really know how to put your feelings into words, you just need to edit it a bit more, they want more of YOU in the essay(should be more of a BIO)..you can start by saying that you were born in the Phillipines and grew up there before coming to the US. Mention that seeing the poverty and lack of good health care drove you to the desire to become a nurseThat is a few of your sentences rolled up into one brief explanantion of your experience in the Phillipines) edit and Everywhere you defined what a nurse is or should be..instead of defining what a person should be to become a nurse(its subjective), tell them that those are YOUR qualities and you believe those are why you feel you are a goodcandidate for their program. I would love to help you out and go through the whole essay with you because it has so many strong points. I Hope I am not offending you with my critique. When is the essay due???? Let me know if you would like more help. My brother in law is an RN and now an administrator, he also spent time as an instructor as was another RN friend of mine and they really helped me clean up my essay , shorten it and still make it powerful.Let me know..Good Luck!!!!
    ps..dont mention why you did not decide to become a doctor..if they think you view them as cold, they may feel you wont work well with them!!! you want them to know that you are a TEAM player and can work well with anyone..Aides, Doctors, etc..Dont mention that your education with them would be consistent or better..leave out the "or better "part..keep it at "consistent with what I have gained through my Temple education"...My mind if flowing with ideas!!!! Let me know of you need more!!!!
    Last edit by trepinCT on Jan 8, '07
  10. 0
    Thanks so much! The essay is due on Feb 15, but I want to submit it as soon as possible since I'm starting my second semster next week. I don't want to worry about this plus school. I'm gonna edit it more tomorrow and I'll repost it again! Thanks so much for your suggestions it really helps a lot. I really hate writing essays, I just think that I suck at it that's why I need a lot of suggestions, but taking composition and writing classes has improved my writing and I'm very thankful for that!
    Last edit by zefutebolera on Jan 8, '07
  11. 0
    there, i revised it again! i'm so thankful that you're here giving me ideas! thank you so much! i believe that there is no minimum requirement for the essay, it doesn't say in the application. all it says is that i should attach a 1 page essay saying why i chose this career path. i have exactly 1 page so all i have to do is edit and just try to make the best essay. here it is..

    we all know that nursing is a field that is concerned with helping people, yet i believe that in becoming a nurse, a person needs more than that desire to succeed. all throughout my life, i see all different kinds of people in poverty, may it be infants, children, elderly people and even disabled people. i was born and raised in the philippines, where poverty is very evident. everyday i would see people on the streets begging others for money just so they could treat their ailing relatives. whenever i see them, i felt so weak. i wanted to help them, yet i didn’t know how since i was just a child. it wasn’t until i moved here in the united states that i realized that health care is truly the right path for me. moving here made me realize how other countries like the philippines are in great need of health services. it made me more aware of the situation and now that i am more mature, i know that i could do my part. seeing the poverty and lack of good health care gave me more than the desire to become a nurse, it gave me the passion and determination to achieve that career. i believe that passion and determination are important elements in becoming a nurse.
    i chose nursing because this allows me to interact more with people. when we look up the word “nurse” in the dictionary, we will read something like “somebody who cares for a sick person.” i believe that there is more into that simple definition. nursing is a very powerful profession, it allows people to influence and touch lives. i am very willing to achieve this big responsibility. i am eager to be there for the patients through illness, injury pain, loss, grieving, birth, growth, aging and health. i consider myself as very determined and strong. when i start something, i always try my best to finish it. when i want to achieve something, i always have the determination to do so. i am also thoughtful, caring and open. ever since a child, i always wanted to make a positive influence in peoples lives. i always felt the need to care for someone since i know that i have the power and choice to do so. i believe that my drive and qualities would reflect on me being a nurse and would make me successful one.
    another reason for my decision to become a nurse is my sister, who is a nursing assistant. her stories from the hospital just inspired me and convinced me that nursing is truly for me. she says that the feeling of giving yourself to a complete stranger in their greatest time of need is like no other feeling on earth. i am very willing to care for someone and experience that great feeling. i felt that i was helpless for some time, and i believe that now is the time to be there for others and help them through their challenging times. i truly believe that i am suited to become a nurse. i am honest and open to communication, and these traits would help me interact with not only the patients but also their family members. personally, having the opportunity to impact someone everyday is very powerful. the words i use, my actions, and my attitude can help another human being to heal and that is something that i will remember all throughout my life. nursing is one of the few careers that does not only help others but also helps yourself. it is a profession that is exciting, ever changing, diverse, and allows opportunity for learning something new everyday. i chose the college of health professions of temple university because i believe that this would significantly educate and prepare me for my future in nursing. the college of health professions also stands out as a national leader in the education of health professionals. i am very pleased with my experience as a temple undergraduate and i believe that the college of health professions would be consistent with that.
  12. 0
    leave out.."when i start something, i always try my best to finish it"..it leave a hint of the possibility of not finishing. everyone has thier own personal "best"..you didnt elude to actually finishing anything, just trying to..just leave that statement out...leave out first sentence..its subjective,esp using the "we all know"..unless you know for a fact that the readers feeling and perspective is the same as yours... i hope i am not too critical, but essay writing is my strong area..anyone else have input????

    start here with something like” i am currently an undergraduate at temple completeting my pre nursing studies.”
    i was born and raised in the philippines, where poverty is very evident. throughout my life,i have seen all different kinds of people in poverty, may it be infants, children, elderly people and even disabled people. everyday i would see people on the streets begging others for money just so they could treat their ailing relatives. whenever i saw them, i felt so weak. i wanted to help them, yet i didn’t know how since i was just a child. it wasn’t until i moved here in the united states that i realized that health care is truly the right path for me. moving here made me realize how other countries like the philippines are in great need of health services. it made me more aware of the situation and now that i am older, i know that i could do my part. seeing the poverty and lack of good health care gave me more than the desire to become a nurse, it gave me the passion and determination to achieve that career. i believe that passion and determination are important elements in becoming a nurse.
    i chose nursing because this allows me to interact more with people. nursing is a very powerful profession, it allows people to influence and touch lives. i am very willing to achieve this big responsibility. i am eager to be there for the patients through illness, injury pain, loss, grieving, birth, growth, aging and health. i consider myself as very determined and strong. i have the drive and determination to achieve my goal of being a nurse. i am also thoughtful, caring and open. i believe that my drive and qualities would reflect on me being a nurse and would make me successful one.
    another reason for my decision to become a nurse is my sister, who is a nursing assistant. her stories from the hospital inspired me and convinced me that nursing is truly for me. the feeling of giving yourself to a complete stranger in their greatest time of need is like no other feeling on earth. i am very willing to care for someone and experience that great feeling. i truly believe that i am suited to become a nurse. i am honest and open to communication, and these traits would help me interact with not only the patients but also their family members. personally, having the opportunity to impact someone everyday is very powerful. the words i use, my actions, and my attitude can help another human being to heal and that is something that i will remember all throughout my life. it is a profession that is exciting, ever changing, diverse, and allows opportunity for learning something new everyday. i chose the college of health professions of temple university because i believe that this would significantly educate and prepare me for my future in nursing. the college of health professions also stands out as a national leader in the education of health professionals. i am very pleased with my experience as a temple undergraduate and i believe that the college of health professions would be consistent with what i have learned so far and prepare me to become a nurse who is prepared for the ever changing healthcare field.



    what does anyone else think about this?? i edited out the "repeat" statements in later paragraphs that reflect what you stated in the first paragraph. i noticed that you like the "definition" of a nurse, but they are not wild about that..they see that so often. most of the people screening for the program are nurses, they know what it takes..they want to know if you have what it takes.good luck..let me know if you need more help or if you are all set.
    Last edit by trepinCT on Jan 9, '07
  13. 1
    I agree with trepinCT, I think you should leave out the "definintion of a nurse" part, because it's not "somebody who cares for a sick person." There's actually several definitions in the dictionary. If you wanted to use a definition, I would use the actual definition, citing the dictionary you got it from, and explain how you fit into that definition. I'm just saying that, because they may be sticklers about that kind of thing.

    Another part I would suggest is changing the wording in "Throughout my life,I have seen all different kinds of people in poverty, may it be infants, children, elderly people and even disabled people." to something like "Throughout my life, I have seen all different kinds of people in poverty, including infants, children, and elderly people, many with disabilities." I'm only saying that because "even disabled people." is setting people with disabilities apart from other people, including infants, children, elderly people, when they're actually included in those age groups. A lot of nurses I know use People First language, where you put the person first, disability, and/or diagnosis, second.

    I think your essay is coming out really good, and you have seen a lot of things, so you have a unique perspective, which I think will set you apart.
    entet likes this.


Top