Nursing Essay 2012

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    I would really appreciate it any of you have the time and could maybe take a look at my essay I have written for the nursing program and let me know what you honestly think and maybe any ideas or tips to make it better! Thanks everyone in advance!!!

    Describe the characteristics that you possess that will make you an effective nurse:

    I possess numerous characteristics that I believe that will make me an effective nurse. First and foremost would be compassion. Compassion is what led me to nursing as my choice of career. I have always been been a deeply caring person, putting others before myself and having the strong desire to help. This characteristic allows me to emphasize with those in need and determine the best possible way to help. I have a passion and drive in me that are always pushing me to do better, work harder, and strive for my goals and beliefs. Determination is a characteristic that has helped me to succeed in my per-requisites and has gotten me to this point in the nursing application process, it drives me to never give up. My eagerness to learn and obtain knowledge will be beneficial in the ever changing medical field. It will allow me give the most up to date medical care. Having good inter-personal skills makes me easily approachable and lets me communicate clearly and efficiently with others. These characteristics listed are only but a few that I obtain that will make me an effective nurse.
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  3. 8 Comments so far...

  4. 1
    Honestly, I feel as if it's very generic. I don't know you, but this essay does not make me feel connected and engaged. Most of the points you list will be what over 95% applicants put in thier essays. Perhaps connect what the question asks to something that happend in your life. Tell a story and make it personal. Right now, this essay needs work and is a decent first rough draft.
    mandilee428 likes this.
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    Here is another draft. If anyone could take their time and maybe just let me know your thoughts it would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks again!!

    Describe the characteristics that you possess that will make you an effective nurse:
    I possess numerous characteristics that I believe will make me an effective nurse. The first and foremost being compassion. Compassion is what makes me who I am. For as long as I can remember I have always been a deeply caring person. I enjoy visiting retirement homes to show my pet ferrets, and I thoroughly love seeing the joy and happiness that I bring to the residents. I also own three cats whom I found sick and abandoned. Upon taking them in I bottle fed them and slowly nursed them back to health. Whenever any one of my friends or family need me I am always there. Being compassionate is what enables me to emphasize with others and determine the best approach to help. My passion, desire, and determination are what drive me to be a better person, always try my best, and strive for my goals. These three characteristics are what has pushed me so far in the nursing application process. I have a strong eagerness to learn and obtain knowledge. I love learning and take joy in going to my college courses. I've liked everything from my microbiology class with all the interesting lab tests, to my ASL class not being able to speak and having to ONLY use sign language. This eagerness I possess will be beneficial in the ever changing medical field. My friendliness and good inter-personal skills that I have accumulated from being a secretary for 6 years makes me an approachable person and allows me to communicate clearly and efficiently with others. The characteristics that I have listed above are only but a few that I possess that will make me an effective nurse. Nursing to me is not just a career choice but a calling.
    .
    Last edit by stacey25 on Apr 9, '12
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    being compassionate is what enables me to emphasize with others and determine the best approach to help. think you mean empathize here.


    these three characteristics are what has pushed me so far should be have since characteristics is plural.


    also, if you didn't do it in your final copy, i'd separate it into paragraphs for easier reading. good luck with your application!
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    LOL. Thank you. Yes I totally meant empathize. Thank you for your input I appreciate it!
  8. 0
    Since I know this is important to you, I'm going to nitpick a little. Feel free to ignore any advice you disagree with

    Quote from stacey25
    Describe the characteristics that you possess that will make you an effective nurse:
    I possess numerous characteristics that I believe will make me an effective nurse. The first and foremost being compassion.
    Each sentence should stand on its own, I know this sentence is referencing the line prior but I think either you should combine the two sentences or expand this one to say 'The first and foremost characteristic I possess is compassion'.

    Quote from stacey25
    Compassion is what makes me who I am.
    I don't know if compassion is what makes you who you are but you can definitely say it is a vital part of who you are.

    Quote from stacey25
    For as long as I can remember I have always been a deeply caring person. I enjoy visiting retirement homes to show my pet ferrets, and I thoroughly love seeing the joy and happiness that I bring to the residents. I also own three cats whom I found sick and abandoned. Upon taking them in I bottle fed them and slowly nursed them back to health. Whenever any one of my friends or family need me I am always there. Being compassionate is what enables me to emphasize with others and determine the best approach to help.
    For the above, many people are compassionate but that doesn't mean they would be great nurses. I'd emphasize a little bit more about your visits to retirement homes if possible. (Ferrets freak me out personally so I'm trying to stay neutral on that aspect of it haha)

    Quote from stacey25
    My passion, desire, and determination are what drive me to be a better person, always try my best, and strive for my goals. These three characteristics are what has pushed me so far in the nursing application process.
    So without intro, you bring up 3 other characteristics? But again, these don't necessarily amount to a great nurse. If anything, I'd move these to the end and expand upon them a bit.

    Quote from stacey25
    I have a strong eagerness to learn and obtain knowledge.
    Now this is another characteristic that is important but I'd also figure out how it applies to being a nurse. Health care is always changing so learning/obtaining knowledge is a good characteristic to emphasize.

    Quote from stacey25
    I love learning and take joy in going to my college courses. I've liked everything from my microbiology class with all the interesting lab tests, to my ASL class not being able to speak and having to ONLY use sign language.
    If you want to emphasize your desire to learn, I think it is fine to mention the various classes you enjoyed and how they will apply to your future program/career. A bit of nitpicking here is those that use sign language do speak, but they speak with their hands. They may even vocalize as well. I'd change this to learning how to communicate with signs/hands versus relying on a purely audible communication means.

    Quote from stacey25
    This eagerness I possess will be beneficial in the ever changing medical field. My friendliness and good inter-personal skills that I have accumulated from being a secretary for 6 years makes me an approachable person and allows me to communicate clearly and efficiently with others. The characteristics that I have listed above are only but a few that I possess that will make me an effective nurse. Nursing to me is not just a career choice but a calling.
    .
    Effective communication is important and I think that is a good aspect to mention.

    I think you need to work on this a bit and maybe do a proper introduction where you mention the characteristics you possess that you think would help you be a good nurse, why you think that they are important characteristics for a nurse and how you exemplify them in your own life.
  9. 0
    I went back and re-wrote some of it. What do you think now?

    My diverse characteristics will make me an asset to the field of nursing.These characteristics will not only make me an effective nurse, but they define me as a person. I am compassionate and have a very kind heart. I go to retirement homes to show my pet ferrets, and I thoroughly love seeing the joy, happiness, and intrigue I bring to the residents. Compassion in nursing will enable me to empathize with patients and determine the best approach for their care and comfort. I also have a strong eagerness to learn and obtain knowledge. I take joy in attending my college courses, such as microbiology to ASL class. This eagerness I possess will be beneficial to the ever changing medical field. My natural friendliness and good interpersonal skills that I have accumulated from years of working as a secretary will make me approachable and allow me to communicate clearly and efficiently with not only patients but medical staff alike. Determination and drive go hand in hand and are always pushing me to learn more, be better, and strive for my goals. Determination has helped me to succeed in my per-requisites and will help me in always going that extra mile for patients, making sure they are receiving my utmost attention and care. The characteristics named here are only but a few that I possess that will make me a effective nurse. To me nursing is not a choice of career but, a calling.
    Last edit by stacey25 on Apr 9, '12
  10. 0
    Describe the characteristics that you possess that will make you an effective nurse:


    My diverse characteristics will make me an asset to the field of nursing.These characteristics will not only make me an effective nurse, but they define me as a person. I am compassionate and have a very kind heart. I go to retirement homes to show my pet ferrets, and I thoroughly love seeing the joy, happiness, and intrigue I bring to the residents. Compassion in nursing will enable me to empathize with patients and determine the best approach for their care and comfort. I also have a strong eagerness to learn and obtain knowledge. I take joy in attending my college courses, such as microbiology to ASL class. This eagerness I possess will be beneficial to the ever changing medical field. My natural friendliness and good interpersonal skills that I have accumulated from years of working as a secretary will make me approachable and allow me to communicate clearly and efficiently with not only patients but medical staff alike. Determination and drive go hand in hand and are always pushing me to learn more, be better, and strive for my goals. Determination has helped me to succeed in my per-requisites and will help me in always going that extra mile for patients, making sure they are receiving my utmost attention and care. The characteristics named here are only but a few that I possess that will make me a effective nurse. To me nursing is not a choice of career but, a calling.
  11. 0
    Hi Stacy: I feel badly that I didn't respond to your comment last Spring. With my 50 points on essay, I got full points: minus the 5 you get for being a previous applicant. I really worked hard to get A's and it wasn't easy!
    I ended up going with OHSU and now I wonder if I should have. I don't know how 'good' the program at Chemeketa is compared to other schools. I figured, from what I've been told, that almost all the programs just teach the basics, and that you REALLY learn when you're hired and have a preceptor.
    I hope you got in-I haven't had time to read all the comments yet.


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