My mom won't let me be a nurse. How do I convince her?

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

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My mom doesn't want me to be a nurse but I really want to be one. Can you help me convince her to let me be a nurse? These are the things she says to me to try to make me not be a nurse:

-"You'll be surrounded by sick people so you will contract a contagious disease and die."

-"Why won't you be a doctor? Why be the person underneath the doctor?"

-"You have to clean up people's poop, pee and vomit."

-"You'll be really tired working 12 hours."

-"When you grow old, you will be weak and will get fired because you can't do physical labor."

-"Violent and horny patients will try to rape or attack you."

-"You got good grades, good SAT score, and took many AP classes in high school. Why are you wasting them to be a nurse when you can be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer?"

-"It's okay for immigrants to be nurses, but not you because I gave you a great opportunity to be something higher in the ladder."

-"Your friends, cousins, and brother are all doctors, lawyers, and engineers. And you want to be a nurse? You are a disgrace to me and your family. I will disown you."

-"The only reason you want to be a nurse is so you can get out of college in 4 years instead of 12 years so you can be a young mom and get married."

-"Nurses don't need analysis. They just do what the doctors and bosses tell them to do."

-"If you become a nurse, I never want to see you again. I won't pay your tuition."

-"You have to go to Ivy League or UC school. CSU's are a disgrace."

-"You are selfish. You are not the type to care for people. You can't be a nurse."

At first, I wanted to be a pediatrician, but they have to go to 8 years of college and 4 years of residency. I don't want to be 32 when I start my job. I don't want to rely on my parent's money until I'm 32. I also don't want to be an old mom and marry in my late 30's. I might not be able to see my grandkids. I really love biology, psychology, nutrition, and kids. So I really want to be a neonatal nurse or a pediatric nurse. But my mom won't let me. How do I make her let me? Every time I talk about wanting to be a nurse, she tells me to shut up and leave and she yells at me and makes me cry. She wants me to be a doctor or pharmacist or doctor. I don't want to go though so many years of schooling. What should I do? Nurses in my area get like $112,000 salaries. My aunt is a nurse, but she was an immigrant. My mom doesn't like her. She says I will be some low class worker or something. She is so mean! She is a strict Asian tiger mom. UCLA and UC Irvine are the only UC's that offer nursing. The rest are CSU and community college. My mom said I can't go to CSU or community college. But I can't get into UCLA or UC Irvine because the acceptance rate is like 7%. Please help me. Thank you very much. I don't want my mom to control my life because if I don't like my job, then I'll be unhappy in life. But I also don't want to lose my mom's love.

I think that you should do what you want. I no that your mother may not like it and will probably try to stop it at first, however if she loves you then ultimately she should support you. Remember that it is your life and you have to do what you want. Whats the point of following the career path she wants you to do if you are not going to be happy?

What everyone has already said....be you, live for you. You will be at risk for unhappiness otherwise. Good luck with whatever you decide!

I kind of wish my mom was more like yours. Your mom really believes in you and wants you to succeed. Mine usually complains 24/7 about "changing lightbulbs," cooking, putting up drapes, cleaning, laundry, ect. She almost, never, if ever, talks about any "careers" or thinking on that level, encourages on that level. I throw out various careers at her, but it seems like everyday tasks are more important. It's cool that your mom thinks you can be a doctor, engineer, ect... all upper middle class careers which I'm guessing she wants you to be. Take that as a compliment. But try not to feel pressured by competition, or to be that way. 90% of your high school classmates, you'll realize 4 years from now, will be doing retail work or nothing really interesting. It's very, very rare for somebody to succeed at getting those careers.

I have a hard time with a mom who thinks "changing lightbulbs" and cooking, cleaning, laundry are more important than having a conversation about careers. I don't wish to be a housewife.. sometimes I wish we could talk about or emphasize more intellectual things.

If her or other relatives (other than the plus of thinking you can do the best you can be) "look down on you" for a good nursing career... they probably never really mattered, knew you, or loved you, anyways. You can always get those "upper middle class" salaries as an NP or PA.. I've seen NPs in work.. they basically are required to be treated like drs. They can even diagnose. Patients (I one of them) of course didn't really respect them as much as Drs and complained about there being no Drs, but they get paid highly and are at the top of the totem when there's no dr around. Also, 8 years is nothing as you'll notice :)

Your asian mom must not be Filipino! Ditto to what the poster above said,in a way I wish my mom had been a little like yours. All my mom hoped for me was that i could be a nurse or a teacher. Of course my parents weren't middle class. THey were on the lower socioeconomic spectrum so to be a nurse or teacher meant success. My mom had no idea what else was out there. Had my mother been like yours, maybe I'd be an engineer right now.

Haha, don't worry, girl! I'm in the same situation that you are in! Me and my parents are immigrants from Mexico and they hate the idea of me becoming a nurse. Now that i graduated HS, my parents are now bugging me about what I'm going to do in life. My parents wanted me to become a doctor (like a neurosurgeon) and while I thought that it would be cool to become a doctor and how awesome the pay would be, I came to realize that becoming a doctor just wasn't for me. I decided that I wanted to be a neonatal nurse (they disapprove but whatever, I love babies and I want to take care of them), but for right now, I'm gonna take a gap year and get a job a local Dollar Tree store (my parents hate the idea but I don't care anymore, I'm done with them ruling my life), and after the gap year, I'm going to a technical school and study to become a CNA and later on go a University and study to become a neonatal nurse. Don't let your mom decide what you are gonna be when you are older, it's your life, she has no say in it. And those things that your mom said? They don't only happen to nurses, they happen to doctors as well.

Specializes in Pediatric Critical Care.

What about googling some info about the demand for nurse pracitioners and the responsibility that they have in their jobs? Maybe she would think that was a great job for you. First step to that is becoming a nurse like you want to do. And then.....well, if you never end up deciding to do grad school, oh well. By then maybe she will see what a great profession nursing is when she sees you doing it.

Okay so this is a non issue- let me explain my reasoning. I know this response is about three years late but there are a few tuition free colleges and if your grades and sats are good you are able to apply for scholarships that can completely pay for your education. This if your parents are not paying for school then they do not have any authority over your major. Look into schools like Berea college, college of the ozarks, or even at full scholorships such as the presidential scholorship at Alabama state university. Good luck!

I'd love to know how this turned out. You're mother was spot in 100% right. My mother said similar things - she was Filipino - but I did it any way, and now I hate it, get treated like crap by patients, families, and ESPECIALLY other RNs. Plus, I've got $30k in student loans to hold me back from achieving any of my REAL dreams. I hope you listened and became a doctor.

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