Family Support

  1. 0
    Initially when I decided I wanted to pursue a career in nursing my family (husband and sons) were ecstatic! I was finally about to embark upon a career that was totally fulfilling and I felt I would be living in my purpose. All through the registration period and even when I picked up my books, everyone was excited. Even my 77 year old grandmother was excited!

    School started in January and 13 credit hours begin. At this point I made a serious attempt to try to find a balance, but my husband stated, "don't worry about it, you just study"

    Fast forward to today....NOW. My mom is even on board, my brothers fully support my decision. We live in Mississippi so the closest family is more than 2 hours away. I have a son about to graduate High School in May, who plays varsity basketball, works a job and takes college classes on Saturday and 2 more sons (ages 13 and 9) who are athletically involved. They all understand "mommy won't always be there" because she is trying to work really hard to become a nurse. I have to give it to them though, my boys are a tremendous help. The oldest one even runs errands for me (those that he can when he isn't at school) while I study. My husband however; has dropped the ball tremendously. He lags behind in EVERYTHING. He doesn't even volunteer to take the kids where they need to go anymore when it was established in the beginning that this was the plan. I break the rhythm in studying to handle things and when I do, he gets upset after he CLEARLY makes it known that he really doesn't want to. Keep this in mind I FULLY supported him in college (19 years ago) and the CE even today! When I dedicate myself to something, I ALWAYS have to stop because of him. I don't understand! I realize I may not be able to attend full-time in the remaining semester because I have no support. How can I take care of my kids, balance their activities and go to school with a full-time course load so I can finish in May?!
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  4. 13 Comments so far...

  5. 1
    I'm afraid I can't fix the frustration you are experiencing with your husband, but I want to encourage you in your journey. I know you are working extremely hard and it will all be worth it soon! It's great that you have the support and understanding of your sons. Try to focus on the fantastic lessons you are teaching them by being such a great example of hard work and dedication. You go girl! You can do it
    FuturePedRN2016 likes this.
  6. 2
    Are you open to all suggestions, or just the legal ones?
    morte and FuturePedRN2016 like this.
  7. 0
    Quote from Krzysztof
    Are you open to all suggestions, or just the legal ones?
    LOL...bring it on! LOL...
  8. 0
    Thank you Ecl09! I am trying so hard, but when your spouse is being an "arse" for lack of better words, its hard!
  9. 3
    My wife and I were both in school the past two semesters. We both work full time and home school a 17 and 11 year old. I have been attending part time, mostly online. My wife just completed her BSN and was a full time student. When she needed help, she would draft me to help her with homework assignments. I used to tease her and ask what grade I got when she submitted work I helped with.... I know Nursing subjects can be challenging all on their own, but adding outside distractions can really be frustrating. In my case, I might have to wait in line for one of our two computers in our house. When 4 people do a bulk of their school work on a computer.... working out a schedule is a necessity. Then I often found myself awake at 0300 grinding over a A&P or Algebra question. Sometimes I thought the whole thing was just nuts... Why am I stressing myself out over this; was and still is a question that occasionally pops into my head. The bottom line is that anything worth having, like a career in Nursing, usually comes with bumps, bruises, and frustration along the way. Once you achieve that goal, it just makes it so much sweeter. As for your husband, try to include him in your work assignments. Give him something to read, ask him for his opinion on questions you have, let him proof your work... Try making this a joint venture, this way he will feel invested in your success. Hope this helps....
  10. 1
    A big reason why I found the courage to take this journey is because of my husband's support. However, the one thing he said to me, and very sweetly I might add, was "Please don't forget to take care of me." Maybe your husband feels a little neglected, a little overwhelmed too but doesn't want to burden you; however, it's creeping out in some of the ways you describe. Sometimes our husbands need a little bit extra encouragement, affection, etc., which makes a world of difference. It's so easy to get caught up in our work, school, kids while letting the marriage come last (not saying you're doing this), because we figure our partners can just take care of themselves. If he's supporting the family financially while you go to school, it is a tremendous gift--like you gave him long ago--even if he falls short on the domestic front. I completely understand how much you have on your plate, but keep your eyes on the prize (May!), perhaps let what you possibly can fall to the wayside for now, and don't fall on your sword: What will the nursing degree mean anyway, if your marriage/family is damaged in the process? You can get through this--you are so close to your goal. :-)
    FuturePedRN2016 likes this.
  11. 0
    Quote from DadStudentPerhaps
    My wife and I were both in school the past two semesters. We both work full time and home school a 17 and 11 year old. I have been attending part time, mostly online. My wife just completed her BSN and was a full time student. When she needed help, she would draft me to help her with homework assignments. I used to tease her and ask what grade I got when she submitted work I helped with.... I know Nursing subjects can be challenging all on their own, but adding outside distractions can really be frustrating. In my case, I might have to wait in line for one of our two computers in our house. When 4 people do a bulk of their school work on a computer.... working out a schedule is a necessity. Then I often found myself awake at 0300 grinding over a A&P or Algebra question. Sometimes I thought the whole thing was just nuts... Why am I stressing myself out over this; was and still is a question that occasionally pops into my head. The bottom line is that anything worth having, like a career in Nursing, usually comes with bumps, bruises, and frustration along the way. Once you achieve that goal, it just makes it so much sweeter. As for your husband, try to include him in your work assignments. Give him something to read, ask him for his opinion on questions you have, let him proof your work... Try making this a joint venture, this way he will feel invested in your success. Hope this helps....
    Yes this helps. Thank you!
  12. 0
    Quote from LadyLamp
    A big reason why I found the courage to take this journey is because of my husband's support. However, the one thing he said to me, and very sweetly I might add, was "Please don't forget to take care of me." Maybe your husband feels a little neglected, a little overwhelmed too but doesn't want to burden you; however, it's creeping out in some of the ways you describe. Sometimes our husbands need a little bit extra encouragement, affection, etc., which makes a world of difference. It's so easy to get caught up in our work, school, kids while letting the marriage come last (not saying you're doing this), because we figure our partners can just take care of themselves. If he's supporting the family financially while you go to school, it is a tremendous gift--like you gave him long ago--even if he falls short on the domestic front. I completely understand how much you have on your plate, but keep your eyes on the prize (May!), perhaps let what you possibly can fall to the wayside for now, and don't fall on your sword: What will the nursing degree mean anyway, if your marriage/family is damaged in the process? You can get through this--you are so close to your goal. :-)
    Thank you. I surely appreciate the advice.
  13. 1
    There are some really good tips already about you and your husband, so I have a study tip for you. My mom was in nursing school when I was in high school. One thing that I will always remember is that she used to record some study material and play it in the car when she had to take my sister and me somewhere. Not only would she record lectures, but she would record herself reading her notes as well. My sister and I were both involved in extra curricular activities and sometimes my dad would still be at work when we needed to be picked up. You might already do this but I just wanted to comment just in case! Keep going! It will all be worth it in the end!!

    P.S. I second the idea of keeping your husband involved in your success! He is more likely to be excited and dedicated if he knows how much you are!
    FuturePedRN2016 likes this.


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