Are you a victim?

by queserasera 9,289 Views | 59 Comments

Consider what impact your language and your thoughts have on your successes and failures. Are you a victim or circumstance, or a creator of your own destiny? Let us not only better ourselves as students, but also encourage our peers by meeting challenges with a can do, "creator" attitude.

  1. 38

    Are you a victim?

    A professor in my past semester at college left a very powerful idea with me, one that I think can really benefit a lot of people on this board.

    I walked into my first day of Anatomy & Physiology this past semester, and I was nervous. I sat in the front of the class and waited for a professor who was deemed one of the toughest at my school, but also one of the most well liked. I didn't know what to expect of him, or the course other than the psyche out I was getting on this board about how hard A&P was.

    In walked a laid back guy in his mid-30's, he had a smile on and was looking over what were now his students. I thought for sure he was sizing us up, and his first question was, "How many of you work?" A majority of the class raised their hands, he nodded.
    "How many of you have kids?" Some kept their hands up, and some new hands joined those in the air.

    The professor nodded again, "How many of you guys are victims?"

    One girl asked what I was trying to figure out in my own head,
    "Uh, victims of what?"

    The professor took a seat and begin to lay out, what I now believe every professor should lay out at the beginning of a course.

    He introduced us to what some of you in the education community know as Victim vs. Creator language. He said the people who complain about the course, make excuses for why they aren't doing well, and unfavorably compare themselves to other will be the 50% of the class that drops.

    He let us know that to do well in something you must take on full personal responsibility. Sure, you can have a bad professor, but in the end, it's not about the professor. It's about you mastering material and your dedication to it. If you know the subject inside and out, it doesn't matter what is put on an exam, if you create a wealth of information and truly understand concepts, you'll do fine.

    If you make excuses about work or kids affecting your success in school, stop! If work or kids are taking up too much of your time, than maybe it's not the right time to focus on school. Things come up, but if you don't meet it head on an create a solution then you won't succeed.

    If you always say you're not smart enough, or studious enough, than you won't be. If negative thoughts occupy your mind, there will be a negative output in your work.
    If you're comparing yourself to the top students unfavorably, you're hurting yourself. Instead make friends with those students, emulate them, what are they doing that you aren't?

    I get so bummed out when I get on these boards and I see many of you being victims. I know I sometimes think if I had a dollar for every time I saw some of you posting that you're not smart enough, or that some professor wronged you, or work or kids or other classes got in the way... well I could probably pay for my education right now.

    Based on these board the environment of future nurses of America may be people who "just got by." Of people who are victims of their circumstance.

    Personally, I want to be in the company of nurses who are creators. People who aren't victims of their situation, but people who create solutions. People who seek help from those who are more skilled, people who turn complaints into structured requests. Most importantly, people who are self-aware and strive to constantly improve themselves. My hope is that I am surrounded by these people so that we can improve the lives of others.

    Hopefully awareness is raised about this, I just want success for everyone who feels like I do for the profession.
    Last edit by Joe V on May 28, '13
    littlemango, Theoxenia, priorities2, and 35 others like this.
  2. Poll: Do you use victim language?

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  4. About queserasera

    queserasera joined Apr '12 - from 'Mid-Atlantic'. Posts: 698 Likes: 527; Learn more about queserasera by visiting their allnursesPage

    59 Comments so far...

  5. 15
    This thread deserves a standing ovation. Thank you for the words of wisdom as well as the utter truth.
  6. 3
    Quote from StayHumble11
    This thread deserves a standing ovation. Thank you for the words of wisdom as well as the utter truth.
    Amen!
    BSNRN2015, Frenchie57, and Esme12 like this.
  7. 3
    Well said!!!
    BSNRN2015, Frenchie57, and Esme12 like this.
  8. 3
    Awesome.
    BSNRN2015, Frenchie57, and Esme12 like this.
  9. 1
    Very true! I have a lot of friends who are victims in my life... I have been trying to impress on one in particular to own her classes, job, etc., and it is finally kicking in. It's really gratifying to see someone go from being a victim to being strong.
    Frenchie57 likes this.
  10. 6
    You become what you think about most of the time...
    Earl Nightingale
    Whatever the mind of man can conceive, and bring itself to believe it can achieve.
    -Napolean Hill

    The OP has the mentality of what these two men were said. I want to add something to what the OP has already stated that I have discovered by observation is a hard pill to swallow and elicits vehement denial. YOU and only YOU create every circumstance and event that occur in your life based on your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. This happens consciously, but much more often unconsciously due to deeply entrenched neuropathways we created overtime that causes us to react and feel a certain way to events. People who are perceived to be 'lucky', 'fortunate', or just so happened to be at the right place at the right time created their 'luck' by their thoughts. If you believe this, then you MUST believe the counterpositive, and this stirs up strong emotions in folks. If bad things happen in your life, such as a house fire or a car accident, YOU created those events in your life based on your thoughts, emotions and feelings...How so? How did you feel when the event occurred? Then think back, how have you been feeling in the months prior?

    Winners and losers, they both stumble and fall in the race of life, in fact winners may actually fall more often. However, what makes winners different than losers is that they get up and continue. Losers on the other hand, stay down, whine and complain about why they can't get up. Rather than dwelling on the catastrophes in life, focus on what can you to make this situation better.
    nancykebas, kldepp08, Ella26, and 3 others like this.
  11. 3
    sometimes the only way to win, is to quit. and start anew. somewhere else, with someone else. how to know this.....
    nancykebas, Kimbsntobe, and Red35 like this.
  12. 6
    Quote from Chelsea13
    A professor in my past semester at college left a very powerful idea with me, one that I think can really benefit a lot of people on this board.

    I walked into my first day of Anatomy & Physiology this past semester, and I was nervous. I sat in the front of the class and waited for a professor who was deemed one of the toughest at my school, but also one of the most well liked. I didn't know what to expect of him, or the course other than the psyche out I was getting on this board about how hard A&P was.

    In walked a laid back guy in his mid-30's, he had a smile on and was looking over what were now his students. I thought for sure he was sizing us up, and his first question was, "How many of you work?" A majority of the class raised their hands, he nodded.
    "How many of you have kids?" Some kept their hands up, and some new hands joined those in the air.

    The professor nodded again, "How many of you guys are victims?"

    One girl asked what I was trying to figure out in my own head,
    "Uh, victims of what?"

    The professor took a seat and begin to lay out, what I now believe every professor should lay out at the beginning of a course.

    He introduced us to what some of you in the education community know as Victim vs. Creator language. He said the people who complain about the course, make excuses for why they aren't doing well, and unfavorably compare themselves to other will be the 50% of the class that drops.

    He let us know that to do well in something you must take on full personal responsibility. Sure, you can have a bad professor, but in the end, it's not about the professor. It's about you mastering material and your dedication to it. If you know the subject inside and out, it doesn't matter what is put on an exam, if you create a wealth of information and truly understand concepts, you'll do fine.

    If you make excuses about work or kids affecting your success in school, stop! If work or kids are taking up too much of your time, than maybe it's not the right time to focus on school. Things come up, but if you don't meet it head on an create a solution then you won't succeed.

    If you always say you're not smart enough, or studious enough, than you won't be. If negative thoughts occupy your mind, there will be a negative output in your work.
    If you're comparing yourself to the top students unfavorably, you're hurting yourself. Instead make friends with those students, emulate them, what are they doing that you aren't?

    I get so bummed out when I get on these boards and I see many of you being victims. I know I sometimes think if I had a dollar for every time I saw some of you posting that you're not smart enough, or that some professor wronged you, or work or kids or other classes got in the way... well I could probably pay for my education right now.

    Based on these board the environment of future nurses of america may be people who "just got by." Of people who are victims of their circumstance.

    Personally, I want to be in the company of nurses who are creators. People who aren't victims of their situation, but people who create solutions. People who seek help from those who are more skilled, people who turn complaints into structured requests. Most importantly, people who are self-aware and strive to constantly improve themselves. My hope is that I am surrounded by these people so that we can improve the lives of others.

    Hopefully awareness is raised about this, I just want success for everyone who feels like I do for the profession.
    ^THIS.

    They are out there...this article touches on the many things that I saw when the generation of nurses with the school of though was "where the money is at" was at an ALL time high at the school I went to, and it still occurs today, no doubt.


    My mantra I said in my early years: I want to be surrounded by people who are in the long haul of nursing. I still believe that today...thankfully, they are out there, and I have been educated, shadowed, have educated, and worked beside them.

    There is hope.
    icuRNmia, BSNRN2015, NF_eyenurse, and 3 others like this.
  13. 3
    I agree. I've also seen a few posts about mean/bad teachers and how to cope, and then the discussion turns into a debate on whether the teacher was in the wrong or the poster should just get over it. How about BOTH? Toughening up doesn't have to mean you endorse what you're going through. But you'd better face the fact that only you can get yourself through it--- and there will always be more difficulties ahead. It's up to each of us to decide how to approach them.
    Hooli, Ella26, and Esme12 like this.


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