I just thought I'd follow-up. I did transfer to an ICU and am at the 8 month mark. It's a rural ICU (really a combination of ICU and PCU) and probably not the experience that Anesthesia schools want. Haven't had a Swan and don't think I will, a handful of art lines, but I have had some really awful DKA/Sepsis, Mixed pH disorders, several crash intubations, several pressors and other things. Several, unpreventable deaths. I'm now in-charge on days and several of the staff and management wanted me to take the Manager position when it came up a couple months ago, but that's not for me. I've definitely grown as a bedside RN (we're all RN's, can't we think of something to call me other than "bedside," LOL), but I knew that would happen.
I've also been presented with a new career path that I had no concept of before: ACNP. I didn't know what they did, but I do now. Don't know if I'll be able to work that out either, but at least I have what I think is a very strong resume with ICU, Open Heart Surgery, and Cath Lab.
So in short, I probably will never join the CRNA ranks, but I have a lot of company there. I did want to thank everyone who responded to this post for reading and responding. It's frustrating to know that you are capable of something, want to do it, but not be able to get things in line to make it happen. Sorry if I offended anyone. Thanks again.