Almost from the beginning of our education we have it drilled into us that we can't allow ourselves to become enmeshed with the people we care for. What an oxymoron that is! We're told we must maintain a professional distance and that we cannot allow our emotions to be touched by what we do. We're told it's unprofessional to cry with a patient or their family when things don't go the way we want them to. I say FORGET THAT! If we squash down our humanity and harden our hearts we lose the kernel of why we became nurses in the first place, and we lose the opportunity to truly know ourselves. There is no shame in feeling our feelings. At the same time we really have to revel in the happy outcomes, the children everyone had written off who manage to elude death and go home to grow strong and be loved. These experiences are what makes the other ones bearable.