How to deal with death of toddler death on picu..

I am so increibly sorry.. I am in tears after reading your post... please take care of yourself and know that our prayers and sympathies are uplifting you at this most difficult time imaginable... he will always be near you and will be waiting for you in heaven...

All my love and prayer's to you and your family.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My nephew died at 3 weeks old about 4 and half years ago now, and it is still hard to cope with. Every person handles the death of a toddler differently. It's hard as an RN also because taking care of these children, you become very attached to them and their family. I could never imagine losing my own child and I am sorry you had to go through this tragic event.

I'm so sorry about your son. It must be so incredibly difficult to deal with what you are going through.

Although I have not yet graduated, I have worked in the pediatric cardiology field for almost 6 years. I will never forget my first funeral, it was of an 11 month old baby girl, who had not know what it was like to be free of tubes, wiring, or a decent supply of oxygen for all of her months of life. It affected me greatly, to see this child at the funeral home. However, it was at that point that i realized that, I did everything i could to comfort her and her family, anything from getting her to smile, to answering the same question for the upteenth time. For the short time that she was here, i felt like I made it just a little bit better.

We cant control the outcomes, but we can try to focus on the positive side of things, even when the outcome is death. That child is no longer suffering. That child is in a better place, free of pain. You as a mom made your son's life a happy one. There is some comfort in the fact that his time spent here was spent knowing happiness and love. It sound kinda cheesy, but its true.

I greatly suggest, if you havent already done so, to seek a parent bereavement group.

I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss.

I think the way I get through it is that while at work, I try not to linger in the room after the crisis and let the parents mourn. I go for a walk or try to busy myself with something else, even if it is punching holes in paper. I usually cry on the way home after my shift, hug my babies and have a glass of wine while I write about it in my journal. It is a way to release to sadness, knowing that I will always have a small piece of them with me. I try to also think about the child finally able to play, walk, etc free from pain, tubes, iv's and wires. For the kids that are chronic and seem to spend their whole lives with us, it usually works. I seem to have a harder time with the ones that were previosly healthy and are just suddenly gone.

You have to come up with your own way of coping. It might mean a weekly meeting with your pastor, or a journal, but we all have to do something to release it.

My advice, spend a little time in the area shadowing another nurse before you decide. That can give you insight into whether or not you can handle it or if it is right for you at this point in your life, before you are committed to working there.

Good luck and god bless

I am so very sorry for your loss. This is the one thing in life I feel I could not bear. My heart goes out to you.

I cannot begin to imagine your pain. I am so very sorry for your loss and I will keep you and your family in my prayers. This is such a tragic event and I am at a loss for words. You didn't even have time for anything to sink in before he was gone. Bless you for sharing this with us. There are so many good people on this site that will be praying for you. Please let us know how you are getting along.

I am so sorry for your family's loss! You are in my prayers!

When I took a float position at our local children's hospital, it was with the understanding that I never floated to NICU or PICU. I was very open with the nurse recruiter about the loss of my own child from a genetic disorder, and she was very understanding. Fast forward in time, new nurse manager, and I am now required to train in the PICU. I was a mess thinking about it, put it off as long as I could, and finally I did my orientation time...and I fell in love with PICU! I transferred into it a few months later, been there over 2 years now. It was an adjustment at first, when a child coded, or was taken off the vent to allow a natural death. But I found that the thing I feared the most has become my biggest strength, and I have been able to care for the dying pt and family with the experience of both a nurse and a parent who has grieved. The loss of my child has come full circle and made me a better nurse. Very few families can irritate me, I have seen and done it all myself. So just take your time in school, you'll know where your calling is when you find it!

Good luck, and God Bless you and your family during this difficult time!

Words are so inadequate, but I am hurting for you in your loss.

We have excellent resources in our chaplains. Our Palliative Care RN is also available to us when we experience a loss in our unit.

When I don't cry at the death of a child, I'll find something else to do. I've just learned to care for myself and my mental health.

I find it really doesn't matter the age of the child. I hurt as much with the 15 year old as the infant/toddler who died. It helps to know that the child is in a much better place, whole and healthy, no more pain/painful treatments.

What I've learned in the last 2 1/2 yrs as a nurse is to not take anything for granted. Even the smallest, simplest of things.

Hugs & prayers

I am so very sorry.