pediatric home health axioms
to weigh a male infant; first calibrate the scales, then calculate the angle
and stand clear of the aim.
if an infant thinks it is hungry, it doesn't matter what you think.
always place a towel on your shoulder prior to hugging an infant.
the child with a runny nose is always the one who kisses you on the lips.
if you've just caused a toddler pain and he wants to hug you, don't forget that he has teeth!
to calculate the number of visits a child will require; multiply the distance to the home by
the travel time.
always be sure the infant's diaper is secure.
never tell a pre-schooler that it will only hurt for a minute.
she will watch the clock; figure out that a minute is a very long time; then run.
if you tell a child that the prick is like a bee sting, that will be the child
who had to make a trip to the er due to a bee sting!
the chance of venous access device complications is directly proportional to the importance of maintaining the access device.
never try to reason with children. they are all smarter than you.
always note the look on childrens faces when you smile. they know you're
up to something.
never give a child a sticker before the venipuncture. that's like eating cake before the meal.
if a mother is feeding a toddler squash, be sure that you're beyond the calculated distance of propulsion.
don't sit the toddler on your lap until after you ask mom if he has diarrhea.
you may ask a child if you can leave. never ask if you may return. the answer will always be "no".
never tell an anxious parent the child has great veins. the number of attempts is directly proportional to the diameter of the vein.
if the mother is home do not allow the father to assist. he will faint!
have extra supplies on hand. a child who wishes to help will always wipe her nose with her hand before handling the syringe.
a complete study in pediatrics includes the following: sponge bob, sesame street, blue's clues, and bob the builder. know your material prior to the visit.
personal protective equipment includes items similar to those football players wear.
if you don't like to roll around on the floor, take care of adults.