Peds nurse with no kids

  1. 1
    Hello all,

    I'm just wondering if I'm the only one. I am a peds onc RN and i LOVE my job. I love how children are so resilient and they truly are inspiring. I often get asked if I have children and when I say no, I hear "you will be a wonderful mother."

    I guess people assume I want kids because I work with kids. The truth is that I have no desire to have children. I love interacting with the kids at work and I know I'm a great peds nurse, however, being a nurse is not the same as being a mother.

    Are there any other peds nurses out there who are childless by choice?
    grudgrime likes this.

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  2. 11 Comments...

  3. 1
    Interesting question! I would also like to hear some feedback on this. I know that I will probably want kids some day but I can't imagine that right now! I really do love taking care of them as a nurse. But at the end of the day/night they go back to their parents...
    Radiant91 likes this.
  4. 0
    I'm a new nurse but I work Peds and I don't have any kids. I don't know if I want any, to be honest. I love children--I was a preschool teacher before going back to get my nursing degree. I've always wanted to work with kids, I just don't know if I want to be responsible for one 24 hours a day for the next 18+ years.

    Aside from teaching, I was a nanny for a while, and I also heard "you'll be a great mother" a lot. But you're right, nurse/teacher/nanny is not the same as parent and I really like my life and my time with my husband the way it is right now. I like free time and being able to see a movie whenever we want, and traveling without worrying about kid stuff. Maybe I'll decide later that I want one, but I won't be surprised if I don't.
  5. 0
    I just recently started working in the NICU and have had parents tell me the same thing. Even though I do plan to have children eventually, the comment makes me a bit uncomfortable. Providing nursing care and being a mother are two completely different things that cannot be compared like that, I don't think. I think it would be much more appropriate for parents to comment in how good a nurse is with children, or on how they interact with them, not whether a nurse will make a good mother or not. I find it to be a little inappropriate, especially when parents don't know about a nurses personal choices regarding having children.
  6. 0
    Child psych CNS, childless by choice. I often get the questions about how/why I can work with kids when I'm not a parent myself. My own observations over the years on child psych inpatient units is that being parent can be a liability in these settings -- I've seen some (certainly not all) coworkers struggle with boundaries, or automatically slip into the "parent" role with clients when that is not at all therapeutic, because of their status as parents.
  7. 1
    Quote from Kaci82
    Hello all,

    I'm just wondering if I'm the only one. I am a peds onc RN and i LOVE my job. I love how children are so resilient and they truly are inspiring. I often get asked if I have children and when I say no, I hear "you will be a wonderful mother."

    I guess people assume I want kids because I work with kids. The truth is that I have no desire to have children. I love interacting with the kids at work and I know I'm a great peds nurse, however, being a nurse is not the same as being a mother.

    Are there any other peds nurses out there who are childless by choice?
    I guess I wouldn't be too taken aback when people say you will make a wonderful mom someday. They are complimenting you. In their own way they are grateful for your concern for their child. You're genuine. Dedicated. They recognize that.

    Just smile, say thank you, but that these little ones fill your heart so much already. No need to discuss further, and it provides them comfort knowing their child is important to you, an that you care for them.
    grudgrime likes this.
  8. 0
    Yup, that's me! Love kids, always have, don't want any of my own (at least, not for the forseeable future). Personally, I don't know that I would be able to be a peds nurse with kids at home - I could imagine it would be easy to blur the boundary between nurse and parent.

    But, I do know that there are plenty of pediatric nurses that do manage to balance both roles. Whatever works, you know?
  9. 2
    Telling you you would make a great mom is a high compliment from a patients' mother. It means they have recognized the care and attention you have given to your child!!! Enjoy the compliments!

    I know several awesome pediatric nurses that don't have children... not sure if they want them or not, but as of right now they have none. And I would let any one of them take care of my children because I know they would care for my child as if they WERE their own. <3
    blaundee and hiddencatRN like this.
  10. 1
    Also childless, mostly by choice. I was on the fence about having kids, never really was in a good enough relationship to want to risk it.
    If I had it to do over again, I think I'd think more about just being a single mom, but....I see how difficult it is to be a single mom when I work in the hospital and I think "thank God that isn't me, I'd lose my mind!"
    I also feel uncomfortable with the "do you have children?" comments and wonder what they think when I say I never had kids...good, bad, neutral?
    I look at it this way, I get to enjoy someone elses child without having to worry about having the energy to go home and cope with mine, less stress and conflicts and guilt. "you like your patients better than me!"
    I am a proud dog mom and share his picture whenever possible!
    tiffanyh202000 likes this.
  11. 0
    I totally take it as a compliment. And it means so much to me for a peds parent to tell me that. They are so protective and concerned for their children, so their words mean a lot.


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